Confused sometimes. Where does food fit in to my life?

October 4, 2003

Hi everyone, my name is Missie. I had surgery a year ago last month and have

lost somewhere between 170-175. Life is completly different for me now.

Before when I weighed 334 life was miserable. Tieing my own shoes was a task.

I

hated being alive. Now at about 160 life in wonderfull. I am now an

Assistant Martial Arts instructor and not to brag but probably on of the best

women

fighters in the area as far as Black Belt Point Sparring goes. I train about 5

days a week in Martial arts. Run 2-4 miles about 3-4 times a week and weight

train 3 days a week. I am very active. Here is my problem.

I think about food all the time. For so long I was worried i wasn;t

getting enough to sustain myself for my level of activity now I wonder if I am

getting to much. Realistcly I probably get 1500-2000 calories a day. The last

month I have been on a serious peanut butter kick. Yesterday I was so worn

out from the week of training I had I sat around, watched TV and chowed.

Grtanted, even if I overeat now it is probably only equivalent to a normal

persons

food for the day but I still feel bad. Noramally I eat very low carb using

atkins products. I have been drink coffee but have just since yesterday

switched

to decaf. How do I associate with food? How do I learn to enjoy it without

feeling guilty? Is it OK to have a lounge around and snack day? I just want

to be normal without gaining. I also ate some pasta last night which is the

first time I have eaten a large portion of carbs and I felt guilty. What

should I be doing when I am working out like 4 hours a day?

I also had a fluctuation in my weight. I dropped real low, like 156-158,

then within a week bounced up to 165, at the doctor I weighed 164. I havn't

weighed since. I just feel kinda lost. How do I just be happy? How do I

learn to enjoy food, not think about it constantly and just live my new life? I

don;t want to obsess.

Thanks

Missie

PS. Alos what is proper portions for this far out RNY. I can eat a whole

medium low carb pancacke /w PB. Or like a low carb grilled cheese with 2

slices of small bread. I can eat a whole cup or mug of spaghetti sause. All in

different settings of course. What is normal??

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