Failing miserably

[Guest guest]

In the two and a half years since my RNY, I beat myself up because I

failed at getting anywhere near a normal weight. I've watched as people

who had surgery the same time I did lose a lot of weight, get plastic

surgery and think they had everything under control with their eating.

Then the food issues begin to pop up.

My surgery failed me, I know that now....I didn't fail me. I know

something else however. . .The surgery does not fix our brains. It does

not take away the years of anger; pain and despair that become a part of

us when we live in a society we can't conform to. If we don't take the

time to look at who we are inside and deal with the emotional issues we

have surrounding ourselves and food, we will never find peace whether we

weigh 105 or 305. If we continue to push the envelope as we move

further and further from our surgery, testing the limits of what it can

do for us, we are fighting with ourselves a losing battle. Wherever we

fall, whether we're newbies or 5 years out, if we don't look at some of

our behavior surrounding issues of food, they will continue to pop up

until we learn what our bodies will and won't tolerate.

Going through a big weight loss change affects everything in our

lives...our friends, spouses, children....it affects the way people see

us and how we see everyone else. To some of us who have been overweight

all of our lives, we have behaviors that have existed since childhood.

Food might have been the only way we knew to nurture ourselves...How can

we not look at and deal with all of the emotions these things bring

inside of us?

Please, talk to someone about getting back on track. Drink your protein

drinks which will help you cut down on some of the carb cravings. And

please, and this applies to all of us....talk to someone who can offer

support while we make these changes....We deserve to be happy and

healthy....

You are not a failure. You trip and fall just like the rest of us. The

important thing is that you make yourself aware of what's going on and

start each day all over again...You are learning, and you're gonna be

fine....

Cindy

dixiedew70 wrote:

I don't know where my willpower is lately, I think it's on vacation. I

generally do well during the day, but then at night I become obsessed

with snacking. I feel like I eat the right things (most of the time)

But I even over do them. I try to snack on cottage cheese or pork rinds,

but I feel like I overeat them. I am able to eat ALOT more than I used

to be, and it scares the bejeebers out of me. I almost wished I was one

of the ones that throw up, but honestly I never have been. Maybe the

first month and that's it. I am terrified I am gonna weigh 311 again,

or more. But it seems like the more I think about NOT eating, the more

I wind up in the kitchen for " just a bite " of something. I've tried

loading on water....does not work. I've tried the " nothing after

6pm " ...does not work...I feel like I am STARVING after 6pm. I know it's

mental hunger, but mental or not, it ends by me being in the kitchen

eating something I don't really need. I know you guys will be the ones

to give me the kick in the butt I need. I live alone, and there is

nobody here to see me when I " cheat " This is the lowest I have felt

about myself since my surgery (11/01) I've gotta do something fast. My

nurse swears that it is impossible for me to gain my weight back. But

I'm up 10 lbs, and I'm not sure that it's not gonna get worse. Please

help me. Thank you, Pam

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