Re: Please tell me when the eating improves? - Hey

[Guest guest]

Wow - Can I second that?? Great suggestions Deb! Guess I don't

need to say anything after that! LOL Seriously though. When I was

asked by every physician to put Ian in nutritional therapy - I was

fine with it - except for the fact that every nutritional center

believed in 90% behavioral nutrition therapy - of which, I didn't

agree with. RSS is much more than behavior - it's a physical issue

for our children. They simply did not understand that and so I

refused to take him. I finally found a nutritionist with Easter

Seals that actually has been to the MAGIC conventions and understood

that our children plain just don't want to eat.

However......I do believe that our children since they are " normal "

in every other sense - that they do need guidelines and parameters.

Ian is not a great eater - but, some days he is (those are the days

I question whether he has RSS - of course, he'll prove me wrong days

later) and I think part of the reason is because of routine. My

children respond so well with routine - and although I hate to

center their routines around food - that's just the way it is. We

literally only eat in the kitchen (unless we are having a picnic on

the floor for something different) at the table every 3 hours. In

the summertime we ate breakfast at 9:00 am, lunch at 12 noon, snack

at 3pm (or 4 depending on when Ian woke up) and dinner at 5:30 (this

helped Ian so he could have his Nutrin for bed 3 hours later at 8:30

pm). Even on days we had guests, ran errands, or anything else - we

ate at the same exact time every day. Now that school has started -

we are shifting gears and we've had a tremendous amount of fussy

days because the kids are " off schedule " with eating. I've noticed

their behaviors have gone down hill because of it! But, we'll

figure it out for the remainder of the year.

By the way - when Ian eats poorly during the day - we almost always

turn the t.v. on for dinner time. It really makes a difference

because he's not paying attention. I can guarantee - those

nutritional centers at the hospitals would totally look down on that.

My point to all this is - I think routine is very important. Try

it - see what happens. They say it only takes three days to start a

habit.

Good Luck and don't beat yourself up. You are doing a great job.

- H

>

> My son never had a tube and as a result I never had the extreme

difficulties

> you are describing, so if my suggestion seems too simple, you'll

have to

> excuse me because I haven't dealt with that.

> I'm just going to throw out some ideas in case you haven't tried

them.

> First, I wouldn't bother having him even be at the table for meal

time. He's

> 5 now and he will understand if you say 'this is a place for

eating, you

> don't want to eat, so you can go and watch t.v. or play in your

room " . It's

> not a punishment , just facts. You guys need to have a normal

dinner

> time, and as time goes on, he may hear the rest of the " family "

having fun

> out there and he might want to join in too. It would take time,

but look at

> it this way, he's upset and he's upsetting everyone else at the

table and

> how much does he eat in the end? Hardly anything? So that's really

no

> different than just not bothering to give him anything to eat!! Do

you know

> what I mean? He's trying for control here. That's so NORMAL for a

5 year

> old. You need to show him you don't care he isn't at the table and

then he

> will want to join (and you would have already made it clear that

he can only

> join IF he eats something).

> Then, I would (well I do have this) a drawer in my kitchen (the

lowest one,

> I think it's supposed to be a bread drawer, but it's not LOL) and

I have it

> filled with various foods that can be in a cupboard (some cookies,

puddings,

> fruit cups, granola bars, oh the list can go on) and that was

always called

> " Adam's drawer " (I even had potato chips in there at one time);

only Adam

> could " eat " from that drawer (I even had a couple of bowls in

there so he

> could " pour " some chips into a bowl). But the point here is that

it comes to

> the point where we really can't be picky.....I have gone through

phases

> where I don't care WHAT he eats as long as he does eat. And I

guess that is

> where you are at right now. So if he will choose some things at

the grocery

> store that he would like in " his drawer " ; then he can go there at

any time

> and eat. That way, SOMETHING is going in.

> Later, much later on, you can modify and change these things. But

right now

> you want him to eat. To do that takes drastic measures.

> I have had a large number of people turn their nose down at me

when they

> hear we haven't had a meal at the table in YEARS! Adam eats in

front of the

> t.v. (and my daughter and I did too, but now everyone is older, I

make a

> meal a night and it's " there " whenever someone wants to eat). But

people try

> to criticize me for not being a proper parent because my kid eats

infront of

> the t.v. You know what I say? I don't care a FIG what they think.

I know if

> Adam is involved watching a show he will mindlessly shovel food

into his

> mouth as he watches. If it's a good show and a dinner he

particularly likes,

> he will often have a second and sometimes A THIRD plate!!! These

people can

> not judge me because they don't know what it is like to worry

constantly

> that your kid isn't going to eat. Now if I made the same meal but

forced

> Adam to eat at the table, he might have 5 bites and then say " I'm

full "

> because he's bored or whatever. He has no need to " eat " ; but he

will if he

> can do something he likes while he's doing it.

>

> I don't know about you, but when I am reading I have to eat. I

must have

> paired this several times....but I can't have dinner without

reading

> something and then I need to " snack " if I am reading a book and

it's not

> dinner time. It's totally like Pavlov's dogs.....stimulus and

response. You

> just need to pair 2 things together over and over again and

suddenly one

> MEANS the other (in Adam's case it's watching t.v. and eating!)

>

> I don't know if you have tried this or not. But remember Colin is

looking to

> control his world, that is a normal developmental stage, if you

can have an

> opportunity to give him a choice on any level, try it, and you'll

be

> surprised with what he does.

>

> But you can't chase him anymore . Dinner time must have

gotten to an

> incredibly stressful time of the day for all of you. Forget it,

leave some

> food out and see if he will gravitate to it (especially if he can

open up

> packages and do some choosing of what to eat on his own, by going

in his own

> drawer, he might feel " grown up " )

>

> but I did want to say, you can vent here any time. We might not

know what to

> do or say, but on some level we have all experienced those same

breaking

> moments and that's when we really need each other here.

>

> Deb

>

> Please tell me when the eating improves?

>

>

> > I'm so incredibly tired of this and need to vent to someone.

Colin

> > is turning 5 in 3 months and I really thought we'd be closer to

> > getting rid of the g-tube than we are. It is so frustrating.

Every

> > meal is a struggle and he just hates to eat.

> >

> > After being pushed by 3 different doctors and several SLP's to

> > eliminate the night time feed (he gets 590ccs at night) we

decided

> > to give it a trial run. It was not successful at all and we only

> > lasted 6 days and went back to our old routine. He was hiding

under

> > the sofa at mealtime because he didn't want to eat. At least

before

> > he would come to the table somewhat willingly.

> >

> > After switching back to the old routine, we've been trying a

> > different approach where he is in complete control of what he

eats

> > and as a result he pretty much doesn't eat anything. I don't know

> > how he has the energy to get through the day. But at least we

don't

> > have to listen to the constant whining and complaining that was

> > ruining mealtime for our entire family.

> >

> > Will he ever develop an appetite? He is just never hungry and

> > Periactin seems to do absolutely nothing.

> >

> > Thanks for listening,

> >

> >

> > Colin (RSS) and Hayden - 4-3/4

> > Grant - 20 mo.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I love hearing that from people who don't understand. Feeding therapy for kids

who don't eat and as they describe " their friend's kid " it is behavioral. This

is not. It kinda goes along with the bring your kid to " so and so's house " and

she'll get him or her to eat. OKAY!!!!! I even went so far as to have someone

put their money where their mouth is but of course they didn't think I was that

serious.

B

advocate22003 wrote:

Wow - Can I second that?? Great suggestions Deb! Guess I don't

need to say anything after that! LOL Seriously though. When I was

asked by every physician to put Ian in nutritional therapy - I was

fine with it - except for the fact that every nutritional center

believed in 90% behavioral nutrition therapy - of which, I didn't

agree with. RSS is much more than behavior - it's a physical issue

for our children. They simply did not understand that and so I

refused to take him. I finally found a nutritionist with Easter

Seals that actually has been to the MAGIC conventions and understood

that our children plain just don't want to eat.

However......I do believe that our children since they are " normal "

in every other sense - that they do need guidelines and parameters.

Ian is not a great eater - but, some days he is (those are the days

I question whether he has RSS - of course, he'll prove me wrong days

later) and I think part of the reason is because of routine. My

children respond so well with routine - and although I hate to

center their routines around food - that's just the way it is. We

literally only eat in the kitchen (unless we are having a picnic on

the floor for something different) at the table every 3 hours. In

the summertime we ate breakfast at 9:00 am, lunch at 12 noon, snack

at 3pm (or 4 depending on when Ian woke up) and dinner at 5:30 (this

helped Ian so he could have his Nutrin for bed 3 hours later at 8:30

pm). Even on days we had guests, ran errands, or anything else - we

ate at the same exact time every day. Now that school has started -

we are shifting gears and we've had a tremendous amount of fussy

days because the kids are " off schedule " with eating. I've noticed

their behaviors have gone down hill because of it! But, we'll

figure it out for the remainder of the year.

By the way - when Ian eats poorly during the day - we almost always

turn the t.v. on for dinner time. It really makes a difference

because he's not paying attention. I can guarantee - those

nutritional centers at the hospitals would totally look down on that.

My point to all this is - I think routine is very important. Try

it - see what happens. They say it only takes three days to start a

habit.

Good Luck and don't beat yourself up. You are doing a great job.

- H

>

> My son never had a tube and as a result I never had the extreme

difficulties

> you are describing, so if my suggestion seems too simple, you'll

have to

> excuse me because I haven't dealt with that.

> I'm just going to throw out some ideas in case you haven't tried

them.

> First, I wouldn't bother having him even be at the table for meal

time. He's

> 5 now and he will understand if you say 'this is a place for

eating, you

> don't want to eat, so you can go and watch t.v. or play in your

room " . It's

> not a punishment , just facts. You guys need to have a normal

dinner

> time, and as time goes on, he may hear the rest of the " family "

having fun

> out there and he might want to join in too. It would take time,

but look at

> it this way, he's upset and he's upsetting everyone else at the

table and

> how much does he eat in the end? Hardly anything? So that's really

no

> different than just not bothering to give him anything to eat!! Do

you know

> what I mean? He's trying for control here. That's so NORMAL for a

5 year

> old. You need to show him you don't care he isn't at the table and

then he

> will want to join (and you would have already made it clear that

he can only

> join IF he eats something).

> Then, I would (well I do have this) a drawer in my kitchen (the

lowest one,

> I think it's supposed to be a bread drawer, but it's not LOL) and

I have it

> filled with various foods that can be in a cupboard (some cookies,

puddings,

> fruit cups, granola bars, oh the list can go on) and that was

always called

> " Adam's drawer " (I even had potato chips in there at one time);

only Adam

> could " eat " from that drawer (I even had a couple of bowls in

there so he

> could " pour " some chips into a bowl). But the point here is that

it comes to

> the point where we really can't be picky.....I have gone through

phases

> where I don't care WHAT he eats as long as he does eat. And I

guess that is

> where you are at right now. So if he will choose some things at

the grocery

> store that he would like in " his drawer " ; then he can go there at

any time

> and eat. That way, SOMETHING is going in.

> Later, much later on, you can modify and change these things. But

right now

> you want him to eat. To do that takes drastic measures.

> I have had a large number of people turn their nose down at me

when they

> hear we haven't had a meal at the table in YEARS! Adam eats in

front of the

> t.v. (and my daughter and I did too, but now everyone is older, I

make a

> meal a night and it's " there " whenever someone wants to eat). But

people try

> to criticize me for not being a proper parent because my kid eats

infront of

> the t.v. You know what I say? I don't care a FIG what they think.

I know if

> Adam is involved watching a show he will mindlessly shovel food

into his

> mouth as he watches. If it's a good show and a dinner he

particularly likes,

> he will often have a second and sometimes A THIRD plate!!! These

people can

> not judge me because they don't know what it is like to worry

constantly

> that your kid isn't going to eat. Now if I made the same meal but

forced

> Adam to eat at the table, he might have 5 bites and then say " I'm

full "

> because he's bored or whatever. He has no need to " eat " ; but he

will if he

> can do something he likes while he's doing it.

>

> I don't know about you, but when I am reading I have to eat. I

must have

> paired this several times....but I can't have dinner without

reading

> something and then I need to " snack " if I am reading a book and

it's not

> dinner time. It's totally like Pavlov's dogs.....stimulus and

response. You

> just need to pair 2 things together over and over again and

suddenly one

> MEANS the other (in Adam's case it's watching t.v. and eating!)

>

> I don't know if you have tried this or not. But remember Colin is

looking to

> control his world, that is a normal developmental stage, if you

can have an

> opportunity to give him a choice on any level, try it, and you'll

be

> surprised with what he does.

>

> But you can't chase him anymore . Dinner time must have

gotten to an

> incredibly stressful time of the day for all of you. Forget it,

leave some

> food out and see if he will gravitate to it (especially if he can

open up

> packages and do some choosing of what to eat on his own, by going

in his own

> drawer, he might feel " grown up " )

>

> but I did want to say, you can vent here any time. We might not

know what to

> do or say, but on some level we have all experienced those same

breaking

> moments and that's when we really need each other here.

>

> Deb

>

> Please tell me when the eating improves?

>

>

> > I'm so incredibly tired of this and need to vent to someone.

Colin

> > is turning 5 in 3 months and I really thought we'd be closer to

> > getting rid of the g-tube than we are. It is so frustrating.

Every

> > meal is a struggle and he just hates to eat.

> >

> > After being pushed by 3 different doctors and several SLP's to

> > eliminate the night time feed (he gets 590ccs at night) we

decided

> > to give it a trial run. It was not successful at all and we only

> > lasted 6 days and went back to our old routine. He was hiding

under

> > the sofa at mealtime because he didn't want to eat. At least

before

> > he would come to the table somewhat willingly.

> >

> > After switching back to the old routine, we've been trying a

> > different approach where he is in complete control of what he

eats

> > and as a result he pretty much doesn't eat anything. I don't know

> > how he has the energy to get through the day. But at least we

don't

> > have to listen to the constant whining and complaining that was

> > ruining mealtime for our entire family.

> >

> > Will he ever develop an appetite? He is just never hungry and

> > Periactin seems to do absolutely nothing.

> >

> > Thanks for listening,

> >

> >

> > Colin (RSS) and Hayden - 4-3/4

> > Grant - 20 mo.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Deb - well, I have another idea. Ask the teacher if he would like

to pay the bills for the endocrinologist (for the hypoglycemic

issues Adam will have if he doesn't eat) or for the GI specialist

(when he vomits from too much acid in his stomach from not eating)

or from the Nutritionist (who insists the calorie intake for a

healthy lifestyle).....the list goes on as we know. See what he

says then!

- H

> > >

> > > My son never had a tube and as a result I never had the extreme

> > difficulties

> > > you are describing, so if my suggestion seems too simple,

you'll

> > have to

> > > excuse me because I haven't dealt with that.

> > > I'm just going to throw out some ideas in case you haven't

tried

> > them.

> > > First, I wouldn't bother having him even be at the table for

meal

> > time. He's

> > > 5 now and he will understand if you say 'this is a place for

> > eating, you

> > > don't want to eat, so you can go and watch t.v. or play in your

> > room " . It's

> > > not a punishment , just facts. You guys need to have a

normal

> > dinner

> > > time, and as time goes on, he may hear the rest of the " family "

> > having fun

> > > out there and he might want to join in too. It would take time,

> > but look at

> > > it this way, he's upset and he's upsetting everyone else at the

> > table and

> > > how much does he eat in the end? Hardly anything? So that's

really

> > no

> > > different than just not bothering to give him anything to

eat!! Do

> > you know

> > > what I mean? He's trying for control here. That's so NORMAL

for a

> > 5 year

> > > old. You need to show him you don't care he isn't at the table

and

> > then he

> > > will want to join (and you would have already made it clear

that

> > he can only

> > > join IF he eats something).

> > > Then, I would (well I do have this) a drawer in my kitchen (the

> > lowest one,

> > > I think it's supposed to be a bread drawer, but it's not LOL)

and

> > I have it

> > > filled with various foods that can be in a cupboard (some

cookies,

> > puddings,

> > > fruit cups, granola bars, oh the list can go on) and that was

> > always called

> > > " Adam's drawer " (I even had potato chips in there at one time);

> > only Adam

> > > could " eat " from that drawer (I even had a couple of bowls in

> > there so he

> > > could " pour " some chips into a bowl). But the point here is

that

> > it comes to

> > > the point where we really can't be picky.....I have gone

through

> > phases

> > > where I don't care WHAT he eats as long as he does eat. And I

> > guess that is

> > > where you are at right now. So if he will choose some things at

> > the grocery

> > > store that he would like in " his drawer " ; then he can go there

at

> > any time

> > > and eat. That way, SOMETHING is going in.

> > > Later, much later on, you can modify and change these things.

But

> > right now

> > > you want him to eat. To do that takes drastic measures.

> > > I have had a large number of people turn their nose down at me

> > when they

> > > hear we haven't had a meal at the table in YEARS! Adam eats in

> > front of the

> > > t.v. (and my daughter and I did too, but now everyone is

older, I

> > make a

> > > meal a night and it's " there " whenever someone wants to eat).

But

> > people try

> > > to criticize me for not being a proper parent because my kid

eats

> > infront of

> > > the t.v. You know what I say? I don't care a FIG what they

think.

> > I know if

> > > Adam is involved watching a show he will mindlessly shovel food

> > into his

> > > mouth as he watches. If it's a good show and a dinner he

> > particularly likes,

> > > he will often have a second and sometimes A THIRD plate!!!

These

> > people can

> > > not judge me because they don't know what it is like to worry

> > constantly

> > > that your kid isn't going to eat. Now if I made the same meal

but

> > forced

> > > Adam to eat at the table, he might have 5 bites and then

say " I'm

> > full "

> > > because he's bored or whatever. He has no need to " eat " ; but he

> > will if he

> > > can do something he likes while he's doing it.

> > >

> > > I don't know about you, but when I am reading I have to eat. I

> > must have

> > > paired this several times....but I can't have dinner without

> > reading

> > > something and then I need to " snack " if I am reading a book and

> > it's not

> > > dinner time. It's totally like Pavlov's dogs.....stimulus and

> > response. You

> > > just need to pair 2 things together over and over again and

> > suddenly one

> > > MEANS the other (in Adam's case it's watching t.v. and eating!)

> > >

> > > I don't know if you have tried this or not. But remember Colin

is

> > looking to

> > > control his world, that is a normal developmental stage, if you

> > can have an

> > > opportunity to give him a choice on any level, try it, and

you'll

> > be

> > > surprised with what he does.

> > >

> > > But you can't chase him anymore . Dinner time must have

> > gotten to an

> > > incredibly stressful time of the day for all of you. Forget it,

> > leave some

> > > food out and see if he will gravitate to it (especially if he

can

> > open up

> > > packages and do some choosing of what to eat on his own, by

going

> > in his own

> > > drawer, he might feel " grown up " )

> > >

> > > but I did want to say, you can vent here any time. We might not

> > know what to

> > > do or say, but on some level we have all experienced those same

> > breaking

> > > moments and that's when we really need each other here.

> > >

> > > Deb

> > >

> > > Please tell me when the eating improves?

> > >

> > >

> > > > I'm so incredibly tired of this and need to vent to someone.

> > Colin

> > > > is turning 5 in 3 months and I really thought we'd be closer

to

> > > > getting rid of the g-tube than we are. It is so frustrating.

> > Every

> > > > meal is a struggle and he just hates to eat.

> > > >

> > > > After being pushed by 3 different doctors and several SLP's

to

> > > > eliminate the night time feed (he gets 590ccs at night) we

> > decided

> > > > to give it a trial run. It was not successful at all and we

only

> > > > lasted 6 days and went back to our old routine. He was hiding

> > under

> > > > the sofa at mealtime because he didn't want to eat. At least

> > before

> > > > he would come to the table somewhat willingly.

> > > >

> > > > After switching back to the old routine, we've been trying a

> > > > different approach where he is in complete control of what he

> > eats

> > > > and as a result he pretty much doesn't eat anything. I don't

know

> > > > how he has the energy to get through the day. But at least we

> > don't

> > > > have to listen to the constant whining and complaining that

was

> > > > ruining mealtime for our entire family.

> > > >

> > > > Will he ever develop an appetite? He is just never hungry and

> > > > Periactin seems to do absolutely nothing.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks for listening,

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Colin (RSS) and Hayden - 4-3/4

> > > > Grant - 20 mo.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi

I'm responding from work.......just in case........

I hear you but he will probably have some excuse......like WE don't

pay those bills (we have universal health care here) so it wouldn't

wash. Oh well, one day at a time I say!

Deb

> > > >

> > > > My son never had a tube and as a result I never had the

extreme

> > > difficulties

> > > > you are describing, so if my suggestion seems too simple,

> you'll

> > > have to

> > > > excuse me because I haven't dealt with that.

> > > > I'm just going to throw out some ideas in case you haven't

> tried

> > > them.

> > > > First, I wouldn't bother having him even be at the table for

> meal

> > > time. He's

> > > > 5 now and he will understand if you say 'this is a place for

> > > eating, you

> > > > don't want to eat, so you can go and watch t.v. or play in

your

> > > room " . It's

> > > > not a punishment , just facts. You guys need to have a

> normal

> > > dinner

> > > > time, and as time goes on, he may hear the rest of

the " family "

> > > having fun

> > > > out there and he might want to join in too. It would take

time,

> > > but look at

> > > > it this way, he's upset and he's upsetting everyone else at

the

> > > table and

> > > > how much does he eat in the end? Hardly anything? So that's

> really

> > > no

> > > > different than just not bothering to give him anything to

> eat!! Do

> > > you know

> > > > what I mean? He's trying for control here. That's so NORMAL

> for a

> > > 5 year

> > > > old. You need to show him you don't care he isn't at the

table

> and

> > > then he

> > > > will want to join (and you would have already made it clear

> that

> > > he can only

> > > > join IF he eats something).

> > > > Then, I would (well I do have this) a drawer in my kitchen

(the

> > > lowest one,

> > > > I think it's supposed to be a bread drawer, but it's not LOL)

> and

> > > I have it

> > > > filled with various foods that can be in a cupboard (some

> cookies,

> > > puddings,

> > > > fruit cups, granola bars, oh the list can go on) and that was

> > > always called

> > > > " Adam's drawer " (I even had potato chips in there at one

time);

> > > only Adam

> > > > could " eat " from that drawer (I even had a couple of bowls in

> > > there so he

> > > > could " pour " some chips into a bowl). But the point here is

> that

> > > it comes to

> > > > the point where we really can't be picky.....I have gone

> through

> > > phases

> > > > where I don't care WHAT he eats as long as he does eat. And I

> > > guess that is

> > > > where you are at right now. So if he will choose some things

at

> > > the grocery

> > > > store that he would like in " his drawer " ; then he can go

there

> at

> > > any time

> > > > and eat. That way, SOMETHING is going in.

> > > > Later, much later on, you can modify and change these things.

> But

> > > right now

> > > > you want him to eat. To do that takes drastic measures.

> > > > I have had a large number of people turn their nose down at

me

> > > when they

> > > > hear we haven't had a meal at the table in YEARS! Adam eats in

> > > front of the

> > > > t.v. (and my daughter and I did too, but now everyone is

> older, I

> > > make a

> > > > meal a night and it's " there " whenever someone wants to eat).

> But

> > > people try

> > > > to criticize me for not being a proper parent because my kid

> eats

> > > infront of

> > > > the t.v. You know what I say? I don't care a FIG what they

> think.

> > > I know if

> > > > Adam is involved watching a show he will mindlessly shovel

food

> > > into his

> > > > mouth as he watches. If it's a good show and a dinner he

> > > particularly likes,

> > > > he will often have a second and sometimes A THIRD plate!!!

> These

> > > people can

> > > > not judge me because they don't know what it is like to worry

> > > constantly

> > > > that your kid isn't going to eat. Now if I made the same meal

> but

> > > forced

> > > > Adam to eat at the table, he might have 5 bites and then

> say " I'm

> > > full "

> > > > because he's bored or whatever. He has no need to " eat " ; but

he

> > > will if he

> > > > can do something he likes while he's doing it.

> > > >

> > > > I don't know about you, but when I am reading I have to eat. I

> > > must have

> > > > paired this several times....but I can't have dinner without

> > > reading

> > > > something and then I need to " snack " if I am reading a book

and

> > > it's not

> > > > dinner time. It's totally like Pavlov's dogs.....stimulus and

> > > response. You

> > > > just need to pair 2 things together over and over again and

> > > suddenly one

> > > > MEANS the other (in Adam's case it's watching t.v. and

eating!)

> > > >

> > > > I don't know if you have tried this or not. But remember

Colin

> is

> > > looking to

> > > > control his world, that is a normal developmental stage, if

you

> > > can have an

> > > > opportunity to give him a choice on any level, try it, and

> you'll

> > > be

> > > > surprised with what he does.

> > > >

> > > > But you can't chase him anymore . Dinner time must have

> > > gotten to an

> > > > incredibly stressful time of the day for all of you. Forget

it,

> > > leave some

> > > > food out and see if he will gravitate to it (especially if he

> can

> > > open up

> > > > packages and do some choosing of what to eat on his own, by

> going

> > > in his own

> > > > drawer, he might feel " grown up " )

> > > >

> > > > but I did want to say, you can vent here any time. We might

not

> > > know what to

> > > > do or say, but on some level we have all experienced those

same

> > > breaking

> > > > moments and that's when we really need each other here.

> > > >

> > > > Deb

> > > >

> > > > Please tell me when the eating

improves?

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > > I'm so incredibly tired of this and need to vent to someone.

> > > Colin

> > > > > is turning 5 in 3 months and I really thought we'd be

closer

> to

> > > > > getting rid of the g-tube than we are. It is so frustrating.

> > > Every

> > > > > meal is a struggle and he just hates to eat.

> > > > >

> > > > > After being pushed by 3 different doctors and several SLP's

> to

> > > > > eliminate the night time feed (he gets 590ccs at night) we

> > > decided

> > > > > to give it a trial run. It was not successful at all and we

> only

> > > > > lasted 6 days and went back to our old routine. He was

hiding

> > > under

> > > > > the sofa at mealtime because he didn't want to eat. At least

> > > before

> > > > > he would come to the table somewhat willingly.

> > > > >

> > > > > After switching back to the old routine, we've been trying a

> > > > > different approach where he is in complete control of what

he

> > > eats

> > > > > and as a result he pretty much doesn't eat anything. I

don't

> know

> > > > > how he has the energy to get through the day. But at least

we

> > > don't

> > > > > have to listen to the constant whining and complaining that

> was

> > > > > ruining mealtime for our entire family.

> > > > >

> > > > > Will he ever develop an appetite? He is just never hungry

and

> > > > > Periactin seems to do absolutely nothing.

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks for listening,

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Colin (RSS) and Hayden - 4-3/4

> > > > > Grant - 20 mo.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

Seriously Deb - it's a very good question. Very good question.

I'll have to think about that more.....

- H

> > > > >

> > > > > My son never had a tube and as a result I never had the

> extreme

> > > > difficulties

> > > > > you are describing, so if my suggestion seems too simple,

> > you'll

> > > > have to

> > > > > excuse me because I haven't dealt with that.

> > > > > I'm just going to throw out some ideas in case you haven't

> > tried

> > > > them.

> > > > > First, I wouldn't bother having him even be at the table

for

> > meal

> > > > time. He's

> > > > > 5 now and he will understand if you say 'this is a place

for

> > > > eating, you

> > > > > don't want to eat, so you can go and watch t.v. or play in

> your

> > > > room " . It's

> > > > > not a punishment , just facts. You guys need to have

a

> > normal

> > > > dinner

> > > > > time, and as time goes on, he may hear the rest of

> the " family "

> > > > having fun

> > > > > out there and he might want to join in too. It would take

> time,

> > > > but look at

> > > > > it this way, he's upset and he's upsetting everyone else

at

> the

> > > > table and

> > > > > how much does he eat in the end? Hardly anything? So

that's

> > really

> > > > no

> > > > > different than just not bothering to give him anything to

> > eat!! Do

> > > > you know

> > > > > what I mean? He's trying for control here. That's so

NORMAL

> > for a

> > > > 5 year

> > > > > old. You need to show him you don't care he isn't at the

> table

> > and

> > > > then he

> > > > > will want to join (and you would have already made it

clear

> > that

> > > > he can only

> > > > > join IF he eats something).

> > > > > Then, I would (well I do have this) a drawer in my kitchen

> (the

> > > > lowest one,

> > > > > I think it's supposed to be a bread drawer, but it's not

LOL)

> > and

> > > > I have it

> > > > > filled with various foods that can be in a cupboard (some

> > cookies,

> > > > puddings,

> > > > > fruit cups, granola bars, oh the list can go on) and that

was

> > > > always called

> > > > > " Adam's drawer " (I even had potato chips in there at one

> time);

> > > > only Adam

> > > > > could " eat " from that drawer (I even had a couple of bowls

in

> > > > there so he

> > > > > could " pour " some chips into a bowl). But the point here

is

> > that

> > > > it comes to

> > > > > the point where we really can't be picky.....I have gone

> > through

> > > > phases

> > > > > where I don't care WHAT he eats as long as he does eat.

And I

> > > > guess that is

> > > > > where you are at right now. So if he will choose some

things

> at

> > > > the grocery

> > > > > store that he would like in " his drawer " ; then he can go

> there

> > at

> > > > any time

> > > > > and eat. That way, SOMETHING is going in.

> > > > > Later, much later on, you can modify and change these

things.

> > But

> > > > right now

> > > > > you want him to eat. To do that takes drastic measures.

> > > > > I have had a large number of people turn their nose down

at

> me

> > > > when they

> > > > > hear we haven't had a meal at the table in YEARS! Adam

eats in

> > > > front of the

> > > > > t.v. (and my daughter and I did too, but now everyone is

> > older, I

> > > > make a

> > > > > meal a night and it's " there " whenever someone wants to

eat).

> > But

> > > > people try

> > > > > to criticize me for not being a proper parent because my

kid

> > eats

> > > > infront of

> > > > > the t.v. You know what I say? I don't care a FIG what they

> > think.

> > > > I know if

> > > > > Adam is involved watching a show he will mindlessly shovel

> food

> > > > into his

> > > > > mouth as he watches. If it's a good show and a dinner he

> > > > particularly likes,

> > > > > he will often have a second and sometimes A THIRD plate!!!

> > These

> > > > people can

> > > > > not judge me because they don't know what it is like to

worry

> > > > constantly

> > > > > that your kid isn't going to eat. Now if I made the same

meal

> > but

> > > > forced

> > > > > Adam to eat at the table, he might have 5 bites and then

> > say " I'm

> > > > full "

> > > > > because he's bored or whatever. He has no need to " eat " ;

but

> he

> > > > will if he

> > > > > can do something he likes while he's doing it.

> > > > >

> > > > > I don't know about you, but when I am reading I have to

eat. I

> > > > must have

> > > > > paired this several times....but I can't have dinner

without

> > > > reading

> > > > > something and then I need to " snack " if I am reading a

book

> and

> > > > it's not

> > > > > dinner time. It's totally like Pavlov's dogs.....stimulus

and

> > > > response. You

> > > > > just need to pair 2 things together over and over again and

> > > > suddenly one

> > > > > MEANS the other (in Adam's case it's watching t.v. and

> eating!)

> > > > >

> > > > > I don't know if you have tried this or not. But remember

> Colin

> > is

> > > > looking to

> > > > > control his world, that is a normal developmental stage,

if

> you

> > > > can have an

> > > > > opportunity to give him a choice on any level, try it, and

> > you'll

> > > > be

> > > > > surprised with what he does.

> > > > >

> > > > > But you can't chase him anymore . Dinner time must

have

> > > > gotten to an

> > > > > incredibly stressful time of the day for all of you.

Forget

> it,

> > > > leave some

> > > > > food out and see if he will gravitate to it (especially if

he

> > can

> > > > open up

> > > > > packages and do some choosing of what to eat on his own,

by

> > going

> > > > in his own

> > > > > drawer, he might feel " grown up " )

> > > > >

> > > > > but I did want to say, you can vent here any time. We

might

> not

> > > > know what to

> > > > > do or say, but on some level we have all experienced those

> same

> > > > breaking

> > > > > moments and that's when we really need each other here.

> > > > >

> > > > > Deb

> > > > >

> > > > > Please tell me when the eating

> improves?

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > I'm so incredibly tired of this and need to vent to

someone.

> > > > Colin

> > > > > > is turning 5 in 3 months and I really thought we'd be

> closer

> > to

> > > > > > getting rid of the g-tube than we are. It is so

frustrating.

> > > > Every

> > > > > > meal is a struggle and he just hates to eat.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > After being pushed by 3 different doctors and several

SLP's

> > to

> > > > > > eliminate the night time feed (he gets 590ccs at night)

we

> > > > decided

> > > > > > to give it a trial run. It was not successful at all and

we

> > only

> > > > > > lasted 6 days and went back to our old routine. He was

> hiding

> > > > under

> > > > > > the sofa at mealtime because he didn't want to eat. At

least

> > > > before

> > > > > > he would come to the table somewhat willingly.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > After switching back to the old routine, we've been

trying a

> > > > > > different approach where he is in complete control of

what

> he

> > > > eats

> > > > > > and as a result he pretty much doesn't eat anything. I

> don't

> > know

> > > > > > how he has the energy to get through the day. But at

least

> we

> > > > don't

> > > > > > have to listen to the constant whining and complaining

that

> > was

> > > > > > ruining mealtime for our entire family.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Will he ever develop an appetite? He is just never

hungry

> and

> > > > > > Periactin seems to do absolutely nothing.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Thanks for listening,

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Colin (RSS) and Hayden - 4-3/4

> > > > > > Grant - 20 mo.

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >