mom's and dad's

[Guest guest]

Hi:

Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

“I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

moms - there is

such a connection here” I noticed something

interesting, maybe it was commented before…...yes

there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

dad’s here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom’s

stuff?

__________________________________

Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

http://mail.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Betty - oops. Sorry about that. That was me - and you are right -

there is a Ken and I completely forgot. Being knew here - I've been

focused on those I've seen the most and I very much apologize.

Thank you for bringing that to my attention. You are so good to

point that out.

Can I say just one thing without hurting anyone else's feelings? I

hope so.......it seems to me that as a mom - it's a natural

progression to take charge of the child's health concerns - being

that woman are incredibly perceptive (usually) about their children,

have an innate sense of nurturing - and in most of the families I've

seen - most children " tend " to gravitate toward " mom " when they are

hurt or have something wrong with them. Again - not always. Ian

will immediately ask for me - but, if he sees daddy he will go to

him - and then change his mind again! Is it 100% moms/woman all the

time? Absolutely not. There are alot of

husbands/dads/uncles/grampas that take on the same role of the

mother - and I admire them all. Who knows. Just a thought.

Hopefully I haven't offended anyone. Didn't mean to if I did.

- H

> Hi:

>

> Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

> " I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

> moms - there is

> such a connection here " I noticed something

> interesting, maybe it was commented before…...yes

> there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

> that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

> the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

> dad's here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom's

> stuff?

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________

> Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> http://mail.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Coming from a " divorced " family (that's my kids not me) I have often

wondered about that. I know my former husband was a " mama's boy " so when my

ex husband tries to slap my wrists for how I deal with Adam, I think " what

are you talking about?? You are the biggest momma's boy of them all!!! "

I didn't have any brothers, so as result my mom (obviously had no sons) and

my mom had only one sister....so I have often wondered if I am teaching Adam

to be a well rounded adult (sensitive to the " female " stuff) or if I am

" babying " him (as his father says). I don't know if I am being a role model

in a good way to teach Adam to be more rounded and sensitive (hence more

" good " for a future wife) or if I am coddling him and doing him harm.

Interesting discussion eh?

Deb

Re: mom's and dad's

> Betty - oops. Sorry about that. That was me - and you are right -

> there is a Ken and I completely forgot. Being knew here - I've been

> focused on those I've seen the most and I very much apologize.

> Thank you for bringing that to my attention. You are so good to

> point that out.

>

> Can I say just one thing without hurting anyone else's feelings? I

> hope so.......it seems to me that as a mom - it's a natural

> progression to take charge of the child's health concerns - being

> that woman are incredibly perceptive (usually) about their children,

> have an innate sense of nurturing - and in most of the families I've

> seen - most children " tend " to gravitate toward " mom " when they are

> hurt or have something wrong with them. Again - not always. Ian

> will immediately ask for me - but, if he sees daddy he will go to

> him - and then change his mind again! Is it 100% moms/woman all the

> time? Absolutely not. There are alot of

> husbands/dads/uncles/grampas that take on the same role of the

> mother - and I admire them all. Who knows. Just a thought.

> Hopefully I haven't offended anyone. Didn't mean to if I did.

>

> - H

>

>

> > Hi:

> >

> > Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

> > " I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

> > moms - there is

> > such a connection here " I noticed something

> > interesting, maybe it was commented before....yes

> > there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

> > that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

> > the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

> > dad's here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom's

> > stuff?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________

> > Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> > http://mail.yahoo.com

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am going to say something very unpopular here so please don't all

attack me at once.

When we first joined the listserve 3 1/2 years ago (where does the

time go?) my husband was at least as involved as I was. However, at

some point that first year (I think) we went through a period of

male bashing on the list and Steve was very insulted. Since then he

has nothing to do with it. I don't know if it pushed any other men

away, but it did for Steve.

While I see what many people go through with their husbands, and I

sometimes feel the same way, it just isn't true in my house. Steve

and I both attend every Dr H appointment, Steve has been to the GI

etc many times without me. He works in our town and I work further

away with less flexibility in my schedule. We both handle all

regular needs of both our children. I just do all the scheduling.

Anyway, just my two cents.

Judith, Steve, (RSS) and (non RSS) 5 1/2 year old twins

> > Hi:

> >

> > Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

> > " I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

> > moms - there is

> > such a connection here " I noticed something

> > interesting, maybe it was commented before…...yes

> > there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

> > that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

> > the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

> > dad's here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom's

> > stuff?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________

> > Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> > http://mail.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

hey all!!

just wanted to respond here as well, even though my hubby doesnt

post on the list (he isnt very good at using the computer is the

reason) but he does read the posts if he is sitting here with me

while i am on. now as far as the dr. appts goes, he goes to every

single dr appt of christopher's, always has and always will!! as a

matter a fact every year most on his vacation days goes to this

(that is why we usually dont go on a reg. vacation) this year he

was so happy to be able to go to the convention and even said to jen

salem they should have a discussion group for just the dads at

convention. my husband doesnt " show " his feelings on the outside

all of the time, so when i am stress about christopher and his not

eating i am showing it and he isnt but that doesnt mean he isnt

worried about it!! he says he doesnt how it so that he can be

strong for me, but inside he does!! he has also learned alot by

being home with me for the past 4 months with his back!! he now

sees what it is like to be home with them 24/7 and how it can be

very stressful doing " everything " all day. now dont get me wrong,

even when he was working he would come home help with (sometimes do

it all himself) dinner, he does the laundry, he cleans!! but now he

has a better understanding of it all , so if i need a break he

understands why (because now he needs one too!!!)

jodie c

[Guest guest]

Deb - a great discussion is you ask me. Let's bring this up again

when I get back.

- H

> > > Hi:

> > >

> > > Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

> > > " I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

> > > moms - there is

> > > such a connection here " I noticed something

> > > interesting, maybe it was commented before....yes

> > > there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

> > > that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

> > > the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

> > > dad's here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom's

> > > stuff?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________

> > > Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> > > http://mail.yahoo.com

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Sidney - I'm glad you brought this up. I feel like a heel that I

didn't include the men from the beginning. Thans for your post.

- H

> > > Hi:

> > >

> > > Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

> > > " I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

> > > moms - there is

> > > such a connection here " I noticed something

> > > interesting, maybe it was commented before…...yes

> > > there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

> > > that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

> > > the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

> > > dad's here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom's

> > > stuff?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________

> > > Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> > > http://mail.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Just to clear up a little confusion, we have multiple email

addresses and sidny27 is one of them. I am Judith

Judith, Steve, (RSS) and (non RSS) 5 year old twins

> > > > Hi:

> > > >

> > > > Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

> > > > " I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

> > > > moms - there is

> > > > such a connection here " I noticed something

> > > > interesting, maybe it was commented before…...yes

> > > > there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

> > > > that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

> > > > the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

> > > > dad's here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom's

> > > > stuff?

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > __________________________________

> > > > Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> > > > http://mail.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Sheldom:

You are a very young grandpa!! I have a 2 brothers and

one sister next to your age that also are

grandparents. My words are referred to the dad’s in

the internet web server, but I think also that it must

be that they don’t enjoy be on line in internet. My

husband is aware of my son but he doesn’t like to be

reading emails and reply, he prefers that I talk to

him about all that I read.

Who old is Laikyn? My son is almost 6 and we live in

Mexico City.

Betty

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Betty,

For Patricio I think it is cultural. He has been taken care of by

his mom/sisters his whole life until we got married (he was a 37 yr

old bachelor). That is way it is in Chile although it is changing

with the younger generations. And, since his English is still

limited it is so much easier foro me to deal with drs and then tell

him w hen I get home. If not, then I stress about translating during

an appt and missing info myself.

However, I did start the Spanish group (thanks so much for helping me

keep it going - not a lot of contributors buta lot of lurkers!) and

he doesn't read that even though I suscribed him! He doesn't seem to

want to get it though. But there are moms out there too I think in

the same situation. Acknowledgement makes things real.

This tough guy husband of mine who has had the crap kicked out of him

(to put it lightly) by police/military because he protested his

country's dictatorship in favor of democracy, lived through

motorcycle crashes, a several story fall and handles pain like no one

I know, become visibly distraught when I test Emerence's blood

sugar. He cannot handle it. He can withstand an enormous amoutn of

pain to himself but not even a little (even if necessary) to his

children. I think his avoidance comes from the fact taht he cannot

control or stop her from feeling pain.

We can go back to anthropology and learned vs inborn behaviors but

whatever the reason, in our society, history (which has been changing

over the past decades) generally acknowledge women as caregivers

(even if they also work) and men as breadwinners. All of that has

been changing and there are wonderful husbands out there who are

actual partners (Judith,kudos to Steve!). Mine is not. I do most of

it and that's okay but I would prefer he is more involved.

These are just my comments and I should say that please do not anyone

be offended!!

, mom to 5.5 and Emerence 31 months and wife to Patricio

> Hi:

>

> Reading this lines that some one put in a message:

> " I've noticed a very interesting thing about these

> moms - there is

> such a connection here " I noticed something

> interesting, maybe it was commented before…...yes

> there is a connection, but also, almost all the people

> that writes here are woman, I remember perfectly Ken

> the moderator that is a man, but..why are not more

> dad's here? Are they so busy? Or Is this a mom's

> stuff?

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________

> Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> http://mail.yahoo.com