Re: Toileting hygeine and other embarassing questions

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

We do get " down and dirty " on this list occasionally. LOL

I can tell you what I did since I started with a BMI of 63 and was also

having problems wiping before surgery. Yes there is a tendency not to be

able to clean properly for newly post-ops. Think of yourself having a bad

back ache and the pain you would have reaching. It is worse post-op. You

don't want to stretch to reach around for a week or so, until you start to

feel better. There are solutions.

I used my self-made " peri bottle " sort of a squirt bottle to rinse the area

and I will warn you this may be important because the early BM's are

diarrhea like and sometimes often. Then used a plastic slotted spoon which

I wrapped with a Cottenelle wipe (better than a baby wipe) to help with the

reaching and final cleaning. This way I was able to take care of business

myself. I too prefer to keep the bathroom private.

There are also people who use thongs to hold toilet paper for wiping

purposes.

Hope this helps.

Rita Black

Open DS, Dr. Macura

4/23/01 400 lbs, BMI 63

5/1/01 391 lbs, BMI 61

5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

6/21/01 350 lbs, BMI 55

7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

6/21/01 360 lbs, BMI 55

7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

8/23/01 320 lbs, BMI 50

9/25/01 306 lbs. BMI 48

10/21/01 295 lbs. BMI 46

11/20/01 283 lbs. BMI 44

<<I keep seeing references to people needing help wiping

their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How long

is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you feel

comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so I

already have some trouble in this area. >>

[Guest guest]

I just love to talk about my husband having wiped my butt. My mom

gets so embarrassed when she reads this stuff.

OK, as a starter, my BMI was 46 or so before surgery, so I never had

any trouble wiping my butt until after surgery. But for the FIRST

WEEK ONLY AFTER ***LAP*** SURGERY, it hurt to twist my abdomen enough

to wipe. Now, to tell the truth, I knew my hubby was there with me

in the hotel room with nothing to do, so maybe I didn't try really

hard. We laughed about it the whole time! I still call him at work

and tell him that I miss him wipin' my ass.

Now then, I'll be accompanying my mom to NYC next Monday for her

surgery and she will not allow me to wipe her butt. What she doesn't

know is that I wouldn't do so even with a ten-foot wooden spoon

anyway! She also wouldn't let my dad help her or even any nurses

(like they would at Sinai anyway!). She's planning to use a kitchen

utensil to wipe and she was supposed to have been practicing (I hear

that it can be tricky!) but I don't think she has yet. AHHHHH, all

of this is to say that you can wipe your own hiney if you really want

to, but it is convenient to have a good hubby!

Best,

> Hi everyone,

>

>

> I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more.

> I'm new to this group and still pre-op. I've been reading posts

for a

> few hours and I keep seeing references to people needing help wiping

> their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How

long

> is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you feel

> comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so I

> already have some trouble in this area. And even though I've been

> married for 15 years, my husband and I have always maintained

privacy

> regarding the bathroom.

>

> I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more. Could

someone

> enlighten me please?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Kathy

[Guest guest]

WARNING: GROSS DETAILS AHEAD............

I had to pipe in here and tell about my embarrassing situation in the hospital.

My period started the day before surgery. When I went into the operating room,

I had a pad in place. When I came out, I assummed the pad was still there. The

next day I asked about having the pad changed and they just brought me some new

ones. There was no way I could reach down there to put a pad in place after

having an open surgery. To top things off, I had a male nurse and a male aide

that day. When they got me up to walk me around, I realized the pad wasn't

where I had left it and I left a large pool of blood on the floor. Not 2

minutes later my aide walked in the room and stepped in the mess. Not only did

he have to clean up the floor, but the bedding was a mess and so was I. The

poor man didn't speak much English and didn't understand when I told him I

needed something to keep the pad in place such as underwear. Since I couldn't

bend to clean myself, he had to do it. I was so embarrassed. I don't feel like

I w

as able to keep myself very clean in that area until I got home and was able to

use my hand-held shower attachment. All I have to say is that I would have felt

much better if I had only needed help wiping my butt.

Kathy M.

[Guest guest]

I was very glad my hubby was with me the first week after I was out of the

hospital. He also had to go beyond the call of duty for me. It was the

hardest thing I have ever had to ask him to do. Thank GOD for him.!!!

Sheri

9/28/01

Dr Herron

[Guest guest]

> I just love to talk about my husband having wiped my butt. My mom

> gets so embarrassed when she reads this stuff.

>

Mom, IS reading this stuff. Guess it's time for the embarrassment to

end.

Now, to tell the truth, maybe I didn't try really hard.

Now the truth is told.

> Now then, I'll be accompanying my mom to NYC next Monday for her

> surgery and she will not allow me to wipe her butt. What she

doesn't know is that I wouldn't do so even with a ten-foot wooden

spoon anyway! Best,

I won't mention how many times I've wiped her butt -- but I digress.

I've had two previous open abdominal surgeries and somehow managed to

take care of important matters (she said delicately). I

will " practice " as Mother says.

Monday, 12/17 is my magical day.

Kathleen M.

pre-op, Dr. Gagner, NYC, 12/17

>

>

[Guest guest]

thank you Rita,

What a relief! A peri bottle and a spoon I can deal with. Asking my

husband to wipe my butt, well, lets just not go there.

> Kathy,

> We do get " down and dirty " on this list occasionally. LOL

> I can tell you what I did since I started with a BMI of 63 and was also

> having problems wiping before surgery. Yes there is a tendency not

to be

> able to clean properly for newly post-ops. Think of yourself having

a bad

> back ache and the pain you would have reaching. It is worse

post-op. You

> don't want to stretch to reach around for a week or so, until you

start to

> feel better. There are solutions.

> I used my self-made " peri bottle " sort of a squirt bottle to rinse

the area

> and I will warn you this may be important because the early BM's are

> diarrhea like and sometimes often. Then used a plastic slotted

spoon which

> I wrapped with a Cottenelle wipe (better than a baby wipe) to help

with the

> reaching and final cleaning. This way I was able to take care of

business

> myself. I too prefer to keep the bathroom private.

> There are also people who use thongs to hold toilet paper for wiping

> purposes.

> Hope this helps.

>

> Rita Black

> Open DS, Dr. Macura

> 4/23/01 400 lbs, BMI 63

> 5/1/01 391 lbs, BMI 61

> 5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

> 6/21/01 350 lbs, BMI 55

> 7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

> 5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

> 6/21/01 360 lbs, BMI 55

> 7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

> 8/23/01 320 lbs, BMI 50

> 9/25/01 306 lbs. BMI 48

> 10/21/01 295 lbs. BMI 46

> 11/20/01 283 lbs. BMI 44

>

> <<I keep seeing references to people needing help wiping

> their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How long

> is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you feel

> comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so I

> already have some trouble in this area. >>

[Guest guest]

,

It sounds like you have a wonderful marriage. But I'm with your Mom

on this one. In my opinion there are some things that are better not

shared. I am grateful that you are so frank and honest with the dirty

details though.

grins,

Kathy

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> >

> > I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more.

> > I'm new to this group and still pre-op. I've been reading posts

> for a

> > few hours and I keep seeing references to people needing help wiping

> > their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How

> long

> > is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you feel

> > comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so I

> > already have some trouble in this area. And even though I've been

> > married for 15 years, my husband and I have always maintained

> privacy

> > regarding the bathroom.

> >

> > I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more. Could

> someone

> > enlighten me please?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Kathy

[Guest guest]

I'm telling you, Kathy! You're missin' out on a bonding experience

with your old man!

Luv,

> > Kathy,

> > We do get " down and dirty " on this list occasionally. LOL

> > I can tell you what I did since I started with a BMI of 63 and

was also

> > having problems wiping before surgery. Yes there is a tendency

not

> to be

> > able to clean properly for newly post-ops. Think of yourself

having

> a bad

> > back ache and the pain you would have reaching. It is worse

> post-op. You

> > don't want to stretch to reach around for a week or so, until you

> start to

> > feel better. There are solutions.

> > I used my self-made " peri bottle " sort of a squirt bottle to

rinse

> the area

> > and I will warn you this may be important because the early BM's

are

> > diarrhea like and sometimes often. Then used a plastic slotted

> spoon which

> > I wrapped with a Cottenelle wipe (better than a baby wipe) to help

> with the

> > reaching and final cleaning. This way I was able to take care of

> business

> > myself. I too prefer to keep the bathroom private.

> > There are also people who use thongs to hold toilet paper for

wiping

> > purposes.

> > Hope this helps.

> >

> > Rita Black

> > Open DS, Dr. Macura

> > 4/23/01 400 lbs, BMI 63

> > 5/1/01 391 lbs, BMI 61

> > 5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

> > 6/21/01 350 lbs, BMI 55

> > 7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

> > 5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

> > 6/21/01 360 lbs, BMI 55

> > 7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

> > 8/23/01 320 lbs, BMI 50

> > 9/25/01 306 lbs. BMI 48

> > 10/21/01 295 lbs. BMI 46

> > 11/20/01 283 lbs. BMI 44

> >

> > <<I keep seeing references to people needing help wiping

> > their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How

long

> > is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you

feel

> > comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so

I

> > already have some trouble in this area. >>

[Guest guest]

You don't know how frank, Kathy, my dear.

Let's just say that it was a good thing that my period came right

AFTER the difficult first week (I must use tampons), because God

knows what poor might have had to do then!

(Apologies to those with weak constitutions!)

Best,

> > > Hi everyone,

> > >

> > >

> > > I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more.

> > > I'm new to this group and still pre-op. I've been reading

posts

> > for a

> > > few hours and I keep seeing references to people needing help

wiping

> > > their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it?

How

> > long

> > > is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you

feel

> > > comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61,

so I

> > > already have some trouble in this area. And even though I've

been

> > > married for 15 years, my husband and I have always maintained

> > privacy

> > > regarding the bathroom.

> > >

> > > I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more. Could

> > someone

> > > enlighten me please?

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > >

> > > Kathy

[Guest guest]

At 12:09 PM +0000 12/13/01, mkfrilot wrote:

>... She's planning to use a kitchen

>utensil to wipe and she was supposed to have been practicing (I hear

>that it can be tricky!) but I don't think she has yet.

What an image: Mom wielding a turkey baster behind her! --S

--

[Guest guest]

all

of this is to say that you can wipe your own hiney if you really want

to, but it is convenient to have a good hubby!

Best,

>>>>>

Agree ! Wouldnt want to do hubbys but I would if he asked and it

was painful for him to do it...same with me. But I guess the longer youve

been married (38 for me) the less these kind of things bother you!

Hugs, Judie

[Guest guest]

WOW! 38 years! and I have only been married for 11 years,

but I'd wipe his stinky old hiney or anything else he needed me to

take care of. He really is as close to perfect as possible.

> all

> of this is to say that you can wipe your own hiney if you really

want

> to, but it is convenient to have a good hubby!

>

> Best,

> >>>>>

>

> Agree ! Wouldnt want to do hubbys but I would if he asked

and it

> was painful for him to do it...same with me. But I guess the

longer youve

> been married (38 for me) the less these kind of things bother you!

>

> Hugs, Judie

[Guest guest]

I think thats the key, .....the closeness of your relationship and

the fact that you are both here for each other no matter what (for better or

worse??) helping wipe ass is no big thing. When Mike had head trauma 17 yrs

years ago in an accident he was in a coma for almost 6 weeks (hes fine

today....a miracle!) but there were times when I had to help him inlcuding

taking care of all his basic needs which also included getting into the

shower with him to scrub him down every day.....wiping ass is just part of

this routine and its no big deal if your love is strong!

Congrats on your 11 yrs.....before you know it you will reach 38 yrs

together too! =)

hugs, Judie

[Guest guest]

Speaking of wonderful partners, I was able to do my own clean ups on

the loo...with a lot of difficulty, but because of the stooooopid

shredding tissues thing, I was on massive amounts of antibiotics.

Well put one antibiotic thing in me and the first thing that grows is

the flora and fauna of my nether regions. Now, that one I could not

reach so dear hubby got seven days of monistat duty!

There is no way in the prior 40 years of life I would ever ask or let

a partner help me. I guess this just goes to show that my prince is

trusted completely and for the first time in my life, I don't feel

shame about me, my body, or my feelings! Damn, its so freeing!

Hugs,

Theresa

> I was very glad my hubby was with me the first week after I was out

of the

> hospital. He also had to go beyond the call of duty for me. It

was the

> hardest thing I have ever had to ask him to do. Thank GOD for

him.!!!

>

> Sheri

> 9/28/01

> Dr Herron

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy:

I had open surgery and couldn't really twist or bend very well to

wipe...I used a pair of long-handled tongs for about the first 2

weeks, then was able to manage without them. There's no way I

could've asked my husband to do this, jeez, I can't stand doing it

for myself!

Gil

Dr. Keshishian

11/8 - 264 lbs

11/26 - 240 lbs

> Hi everyone,

>

>

> I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more.

> I'm new to this group and still pre-op. I've been reading posts

for a

> few hours and I keep seeing references to people needing help wiping

> their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How

long

> is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you feel

> comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so I

> already have some trouble in this area. And even though I've been

> married for 15 years, my husband and I have always maintained

privacy

> regarding the bathroom.

>

> I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more. Could

someone

> enlighten me please?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Kathy

[Guest guest]

You are a very lucky girl! One night I jokingly told my husband that

I didn't think he loved me enough to wipe my ass, and he just looked

at me funny and said " I can't even stand the smell and I'm 2 rooms

away, how can you expect me to go in there??? "

Gil

Dr. Keshishian

11/8 - 264 lbs

11/26 - 240 lbs

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> >

> > I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more.

> > I'm new to this group and still pre-op. I've been reading posts

> for a

> > few hours and I keep seeing references to people needing help

wiping

> > their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How

> long

> > is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you

feel

> > comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so

I

> > already have some trouble in this area. And even though I've been

> > married for 15 years, my husband and I have always maintained

> privacy

> > regarding the bathroom.

> >

> > I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more. Could

> someone

> > enlighten me please?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Kathy

[Guest guest]

In reference to your comment:

è I think we are missing an important " issue " here...it's

è all in the approach.  I would think a clean up mission

è from the front would be way easier than an attack from

è the rear...ummm if you know what I mean! E (IL)

ok, I'm new here, so I don't know if is a he or a she, but I'm guessing

a he by the response. Females should not clean from back to front, it can

create problems for the front. We've always been taught to clean from front

to back. If I'm wrong about you my apologies.

Judy

very pre-op

no doctor yet

[Guest guest]

I think we are missing an important " issue " here...it's all in the

approach. I would think a clean up mission from the front would be

way easier than an attack from the rear...ummm if you know what I

mean!

E (IL)

[Guest guest]

That's that problem! You can't attack from the front right away

because your tummy hurts to bend. I could after a couple of days,

but I have a small stomach and a hurge arse! laughing. You just

gotta be there to feel it!

Hugs,

Theresa

Surgery date: DS Nov. 19, 2001

Dr. Gregg Jossart

Highest weight: 293

Surgery weight: 251

Current weight: 224

Height: 5' 7.5 "

> I think we are missing an important " issue " here...it's all in the

> approach. I would think a clean up mission from the front would be

> way easier than an attack from the rear...ummm if you know what I

> mean!

> E (IL)

[Guest guest]

Thank you Theresa for standing up and being counted as one of

us " unclean " women!

FYI...I'm female, and never could understand how you all get the

dirty deed done approaching from the rear. I guess it's all a matter

of...ummmm...precision. Geeeee, I can't imagine your belly hurting

so much you can't attack from the front. By the way, every time this

issue comes up at one of the family " events " my mom gets mad...and

I'm 47 years old! To my brother and sisters, it's been a hot topic

of debate over many a family function dinner. Disfunctional?

No...more just disgustingly gross!

E (IL.)

> That's that problem! You can't attack from the front right away

> because your tummy hurts to bend. I could after a couple of days,

> but I have a small stomach and a hurge arse! laughing. You just

> gotta be there to feel it!

>

[Guest guest]

I have never planned the attack from the rear. The point is knowing

where to stop! laughing. You can wipe from front to back from the

front, but man oh man, I was very tender at first. I do find that

bending feels much better than standing up straight, so it shouldn't

be too bad for too long. And, i guess it just depends on how much

meat you have to get around! I say get your peri bottle and be

prepared for anything! laughing

Hugs,

Theresa

> Thank you Theresa for standing up and being counted as one of

> us " unclean " women!

>

> FYI...I'm female, and never could understand how you all get the

> dirty deed done approaching from the rear. I guess it's all a

matter

> of...ummmm...precision. Geeeee, I can't imagine your belly hurting

> so much you can't attack from the front. By the way, every time

this

> issue comes up at one of the family " events " my mom gets mad...and

> I'm 47 years old! To my brother and sisters, it's been a hot topic

> of debate over many a family function dinner. Disfunctional?

> No...more just disgustingly gross!

> E (IL.)

>

> > That's that problem! You can't attack from the front right away

> > because your tummy hurts to bend. I could after a couple of

days,

> > but I have a small stomach and a hurge arse! laughing. You just

> > gotta be there to feel it!

> >

[Guest guest]

kathy,

my BMI is the same as yours and was having mild difficuly preop. I am 5 days

post op now, and can almost do as well as preop. My hubby (bless him!) has wiped

my butt, lotioned my feet, wiped my nauseated face and genereally treated me

better than gold.

I still have him help if its a biggie though, at least til this d#nm JP comes

out

Ruth

12/12/2001-Dr.

394=highest weight

373=pre-op

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

In the hospital I found it very helpful to use long metal salad tongs

to hold the toilet paper and wipe. When I was done, I simply opened

the tongs and the paper dropped in the bowl. No mess, no fuss. I

just rinsed off the tongs in the sink with soap and it worked out

very nicely. Hope that helps.

Tracey in Santee (San Diego)

> Hi everyone,

>

>

> I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more.

> I'm new to this group and still pre-op. I've been reading posts

for a

> few hours and I keep seeing references to people needing help wiping

> their asses after surgery. Is this true? Why? How bad is it? How

long

> is this assistance needed? What if you don't have anybody you feel

> comfortable asking for this kind of help? I have a BMI of 61, so I

> already have some trouble in this area. And even though I've been

> married for 15 years, my husband and I have always maintained

privacy

> regarding the bathroom.

>

> I hate to have to ask, but I hate not knowing even more. Could

someone

> enlighten me please?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Kathy