Re: OT - Tabitha- long sorry

[Guest guest]

hello everyone,

Now that the kids are in bed and I have read the emails. I kind of afraid to

tell everyone the two other things that have happened. 1st. The day after

died, my two brothers took me out to lunch before we had to go and make

arrangements. (little backround and I never drank at lunch time,

something I really don't understand much, but he just didn't like it) So I

hadn't slept and was feeling like I needed a drink. While waiting for the food

I went to pick up the glass and drink out of the straw and it was laying across

the top of the glass. I instantly knew was there with me. 2nd I was down

in Davenport at the super wal mart and had this thing of dropping things

just so he could watch me pick them up. Must be a man thing. We were checking

out(his sister and I) We were by the belt thing with no one behind us. about 2

feet from the Magazines. We were just talking when two stacks of mag. fell all

the way across the floor right to my feet. At

this point I was thinking is just messing with me and was not going to

give him the joy of watching me , so I made his sister pick them up. It is nice

to know he is there, but you have to wonder sometimes if he is just trying to

let me know or scare me.

Something else I would like to share. passed on Fathers day, a sunday.

Friday night he started to get bad. We had our last talks that night. About

his grandfathers being with him and him not wanting to leave me and the kids.

He also told me he would wait for me again. Funny because I would never date

him in Highschool and he waited to be with me. I knew we were getting close

when he was seeing people that had passed in our living room. That night he was

also saying how bright it was in our house. No lights on and middle of the

night. By Saturday morning he could no longer talk. Was trying as hard as he

could. I when I would tell him I loved him, he would try so hard to say it

back. I would just have to tell him I knew. By that night he could no longer

move. Father's Day came and we had alot of people here visiting. Both

children, but could no longer open his eyes. When I would sit and hold

his hand and talk to him, all the hairs on his arms

and chest would stand straight up. So I knew he felt me there. It did not do

this with anyone else. Before he got worse I told him I didn't want him to go

on Fathers day, because it would make it to hard for me and the kids. So about

9pm, was struggling so hard to breath. His mother and I told him Fathers

Day was over and everyone was in bed. (What I am about to tell you is the

hardest thing I have ever done.) So I lay in the bed next to him with hairs

standing up and all. Kissing him and telling him how much I love him, that I

will see him again soon, And he opened his eyes for the last time, but would

look at only me, not his mother. I continued to tell him to just go to sleep,

that everything would be ok. His mother was telling him " mommy says go, mommy

says go " This whole time he would not take his eyes off of me. I kissed him so

many times that last hour. Finally around 10:30 I asked him if he was going to

go fishing with his grandpa, and he looked

straight up in the air and lifted both hands over his face like he was not

ready to go then he was gone. That was the longest hour and a half in my life.

I felt terrrible that I lied to him and told him everything would be alright. I

just didn't want him to hurt anymore. I have wanted to share this here, but it

is hard for me to relive that night. As I am just crying know, it running down

my shirt. \

So, I guess for any of you who don't believe that there is something else out

there. Here is your proof. I know is here with me everyday. Not only

checking on me but the kids also.

Tabitha

number23 wrote:

Tabitha, Sweetie,

Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic or in the need

of mind altering medications. I think what you describe is a beautiful and

precious event.

The process you are traveling through is different for each person. For years,

my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff, like Grandma had

stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my mother's cigarett smoke. Who

is to say?

It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you think

came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe. If you think you're

losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

You and had what most people only read about in books - a life time of

loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be possible for a loving

husband to just come see you if he felt the need to. Why not? He obviously loved

you deeply, as you loved him. As a person who has never been fortunate enough to

experience the kind of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that

was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. will

never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if you can to

celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of a hurry to dispose of

the reminders, painful as they may be at the moment.

I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a grief

support group somewhere you could join to help you express your feelings in a

safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a collage of his photos to

hang on the wall, sharing stories and memories as you work on it. And perhaps

like me, when you thank God at night, tell him to tell hello and that you

love him. I say, " If you see Mom around... "

She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or do some silly

thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. When I

pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya doing? " I talk to her a lot actually.

I have also been talking to a HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And like

suggeted I do, I wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or wrong way for

you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in school or something. When

we had to go to Mom's service I told , " I've never done this before either,

so I don't know how anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us to

remember is to be polite to other visitors. "

We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't ever feel like

you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us. When you see around,

tell him we said hello.

ee

Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

- Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

Visit us on the Web!

www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

[Guest guest]

Tabitha, What a moving story. I had a similar experience with my grandmother

right before she passed.

The hospice nurse told me that the last sense to go is hearing so I'm sure

heard you. You didn't lie to him, either, because in heaven, everything IS

alright. I hope it provides you comfort to think of him still being with you.

I believe that these things are more common than we think but that people don't

always share them. Many hugs and prayers,

Carol

Re: OT - Tabitha- long sorry

hello everyone,

Now that the kids are in bed and I have read the emails. I kind of afraid to

tell everyone the two other things that have happened. 1st. The day after

died, my two brothers took me out to lunch before we had to go and make

arrangements. (little backround and I never drank at lunch time, something

I really don't understand much, but he just didn't like it) So I hadn't slept

and was feeling like I needed a drink. While waiting for the food I went to pick

up the glass and drink out of the straw and it was laying across the top of the

glass. I instantly knew was there with me. 2nd I was down in Davenport at

the super wal mart and had this thing of dropping things just so he could

watch me pick them up. Must be a man thing. We were checking out(his sister and

I) We were by the belt thing with no one behind us. about 2 feet from the

Magazines. We were just talking when two stacks of mag. fell all the way across

the floor right to my feet. At

this point I was thinking is just messing with me and was not going to

give him the joy of watching me , so I made his sister pick them up. It is nice

to know he is there, but you have to wonder sometimes if he is just trying to

let me know or scare me.

Something else I would like to share. passed on Fathers day, a sunday.

Friday night he started to get bad. We had our last talks that night. About his

grandfathers being with him and him not wanting to leave me and the kids. He

also told me he would wait for me again. Funny because I would never date him in

Highschool and he waited to be with me. I knew we were getting close when he was

seeing people that had passed in our living room. That night he was also saying

how bright it was in our house. No lights on and middle of the night. By

Saturday morning he could no longer talk. Was trying as hard as he could. I when

I would tell him I loved him, he would try so hard to say it back. I would just

have to tell him I knew. By that night he could no longer move. Father's Day

came and we had alot of people here visiting. Both children, but could no

longer open his eyes. When I would sit and hold his hand and talk to him, all

the hairs on his arms

and chest would stand straight up. So I knew he felt me there. It did not do

this with anyone else. Before he got worse I told him I didn't want him to go on

Fathers day, because it would make it to hard for me and the kids. So about 9pm,

was struggling so hard to breath. His mother and I told him Fathers Day

was over and everyone was in bed. (What I am about to tell you is the hardest

thing I have ever done.) So I lay in the bed next to him with hairs standing up

and all. Kissing him and telling him how much I love him, that I will see him

again soon, And he opened his eyes for the last time, but would look at only me,

not his mother. I continued to tell him to just go to sleep, that everything

would be ok. His mother was telling him " mommy says go, mommy says go " This

whole time he would not take his eyes off of me. I kissed him so many times that

last hour. Finally around 10:30 I asked him if he was going to go fishing with

his grandpa, and he looked

straight up in the air and lifted both hands over his face like he was not

ready to go then he was gone. That was the longest hour and a half in my life. I

felt terrrible that I lied to him and told him everything would be alright. I

just didn't want him to hurt anymore. I have wanted to share this here, but it

is hard for me to relive that night. As I am just crying know, it running down

my shirt. \

So, I guess for any of you who don't believe that there is something else out

there. Here is your proof. I know is here with me everyday. Not only

checking on me but the kids also.

Tabitha

number23 > wrote:

Tabitha, Sweetie,

Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic or in the

need of mind altering medications. I think what you describe is a beautiful and

precious event.

The process you are traveling through is different for each person. For years,

my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff, like Grandma had

stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my mother's cigarett smoke. Who

is to say?

It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you think

came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe. If you think you're

losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

You and had what most people only read about in books - a life time of

loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be possible for a loving

husband to just come see you if he felt the need to. Why not? He obviously loved

you deeply, as you loved him. As a person who has never been fortunate enough to

experience the kind of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that

was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. will

never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if you can to

celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of a hurry to dispose of

the reminders, painful as they may be at the moment.

I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a grief

support group somewhere you could join to help you express your feelings in a

safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a collage of his photos to

hang on the wall, sharing stories and memories as you work on it. And perhaps

like me, when you thank God at night, tell him to tell hello and that you

love him. I say, " If you see Mom around... "

She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or do some

silly thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her.

When I pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya doing? " I talk to her a lot

actually. I have also been talking to a HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And

like suggeted I do, I wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or wrong way

for you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in school or something.

When we had to go to Mom's service I told , " I've never done this before

either, so I don't know how anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us

to remember is to be polite to other visitors. "

We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't ever feel like

you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us. When you see around,

tell him we said hello.

ee

Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

- Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

Visit us on the Web!

www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

[Guest guest]

Tabitha,

Please don't feel bad about " lying " to . You knew he was in pain, and he

needed your permission to go. You just helped to ease his pain. He'll be with

you and your family always.

- Michele

p.s. Next time drops something for you to pick up, bend on over, give

him a good view and a smile. He's just telling you he loves you.

Yarolim wrote:

hello everyone,

Now that the kids are in bed and I have read the emails. I kind of afraid to

tell everyone the two other things that have happened. 1st. The day after

died, my two brothers took me out to lunch before we had to go and make

arrangements. (little backround and I never drank at lunch time, something

I really don't understand much, but he just didn't like it) So I hadn't slept

and was feeling like I needed a drink. While waiting for the food I went to pick

up the glass and drink out of the straw and it was laying across the top of the

glass. I instantly knew was there with me. 2nd I was down in Davenport at

the super wal mart and had this thing of dropping things just so he could

watch me pick them up. Must be a man thing. We were checking out(his sister and

I) We were by the belt thing with no one behind us. about 2 feet from the

Magazines. We were just talking when two stacks of mag. fell all the way across

the floor right to my feet. At

this point I was thinking is just messing with me and was not going to

give him the joy of watching me , so I made his sister pick them up. It is nice

to know he is there, but you have to wonder sometimes if he is just trying to

let me know or scare me.

Something else I would like to share. passed on Fathers day, a sunday.

Friday night he started to get bad. We had our last talks that night. About his

grandfathers being with him and him not wanting to leave me and the kids. He

also told me he would wait for me again. Funny because I would never date him in

Highschool and he waited to be with me. I knew we were getting close when he was

seeing people that had passed in our living room. That night he was also saying

how bright it was in our house. No lights on and middle of the night. By

Saturday morning he could no longer talk. Was trying as hard as he could. I when

I would tell him I loved him, he would try so hard to say it back. I would just

have to tell him I knew. By that night he could no longer move. Father's Day

came and we had alot of people here visiting. Both children, but could no

longer open his eyes. When I would sit and hold his hand and talk to him, all

the hairs on his arms

and chest would stand straight up. So I knew he felt me there. It did not do

this with anyone else. Before he got worse I told him I didn't want him to go on

Fathers day, because it would make it to hard for me and the kids. So about 9pm,

was struggling so hard to breath. His mother and I told him Fathers Day

was over and everyone was in bed. (What I am about to tell you is the hardest

thing I have ever done.) So I lay in the bed next to him with hairs standing up

and all. Kissing him and telling him how much I love him, that I will see him

again soon, And he opened his eyes for the last time, but would look at only me,

not his mother. I continued to tell him to just go to sleep, that everything

would be ok. His mother was telling him " mommy says go, mommy says go " This

whole time he would not take his eyes off of me. I kissed him so many times that

last hour. Finally around 10:30 I asked him if he was going to go fishing with

his grandpa, and he looked

straight up in the air and lifted both hands over his face like he was not ready

to go then he was gone. That was the longest hour and a half in my life. I felt

terrrible that I lied to him and told him everything would be alright. I just

didn't want him to hurt anymore. I have wanted to share this here, but it is

hard for me to relive that night. As I am just crying know, it running down my

shirt. \

So, I guess for any of you who don't believe that there is something else out

there. Here is your proof. I know is here with me everyday. Not only

checking on me but the kids also.

Tabitha

number23 wrote:

Tabitha, Sweetie,

Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic or in the need

of mind altering medications. I think what you describe is a beautiful and

precious event.

The process you are traveling through is different for each person. For years,

my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff, like Grandma had

stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my mother's cigarett smoke. Who

is to say?

It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you think

came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe. If you think you're

losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

You and had what most people only read about in books - a life time of

loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be possible for a loving

husband to just come see you if he felt the need to. Why not? He obviously loved

you deeply, as you loved him. As a person who has never been fortunate enough to

experience the kind of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that

was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. will

never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if you can to

celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of a hurry to dispose of

the reminders, painful as they may be at the moment.

I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a grief

support group somewhere you could join to help you express your feelings in a

safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a collage of his photos to

hang on the wall, sharing stories and memories as you work on it. And perhaps

like me, when you thank God at night, tell him to tell hello and that you

love him. I say, " If you see Mom around... "

She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or do some silly

thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. When I

pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya doing? " I talk to her a lot actually.

I have also been talking to a HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And like

suggeted I do, I wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or wrong way for

you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in school or something. When

we had to go to Mom's service I told , " I've never done this before either,

so I don't know how anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us to

remember is to be polite to other visitors. "

We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't ever feel like

you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us. When you see around,

tell him we said hello.

ee

Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

- Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

Visit us on the Web!

www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

[Guest guest]

Ok. Tabitha. Now I'm crying. What a wonderful gift you gave your

husband. You are courageous and treated his last hours with grace.

You are an incredible person. I will write more later as I have to

take to art class. But I quickly wanted to say that loved

ones in my family have seen their passed loved ones in the last

days/hours preceding death. I believe this is a gift God gives us

that we are comforted by our loved ones who preceded us. I know it

wasn't beautiful for you but his death as you described here is a

beautiful image for your children when they are old enough.

Thinking of you.

> Tabitha, Sweetie,

>

> Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic

or in the need of mind altering medications. I think what you

describe is a beautiful and precious event.

>

> The process you are traveling through is different for each person.

For years, my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff,

like Grandma had stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my

mother's cigarett smoke. Who is to say?

>

> It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you

think came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe.

If you think you're losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

>

> You and had what most people only read about in books - a

life time of loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be

possible for a loving husband to just come see you if he felt the

need to. Why not? He obviously loved you deeply, as you loved him. As

a person who has never been fortunate enough to experience the kind

of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that was

better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

will never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if

you can to celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of

a hurry to dispose of the reminders, painful as they may be at the

moment.

>

> I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a

grief support group somewhere you could join to help you express your

feelings in a safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a

collage of his photos to hang on the wall, sharing stories and

memories as you work on it. And perhaps like me, when you thank God

at night, tell him to tell hello and that you love him. I

say, " If you see Mom around... "

>

> She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or

do some silly thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the

phone and call her. When I pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya

doing? " I talk to her a lot actually. I have also been talking to a

HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And like suggeted I do, I

wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

>

> I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or

wrong way for you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in

school or something. When we had to go to Mom's service I told

, " I've never done this before either, so I don't know how

anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us to remember is to

be polite to other visitors. "

>

> We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't

ever feel like you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us.

When you see around, tell him we said hello.

>

> ee

> Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

> - Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

> Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

> Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

>

> Visit us on the Web!

> www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

>

>

[Guest guest]

That closure you got is so very important for the both of you, even if you

" lied " . I have heard alot of stories about people struggling so hard to hang

on, and when one they love finally says go, they do. I dont think he is trying

to scare you with these things, but he probably is using the clearest and most

direct way to let you know he is there.

.

[Guest guest]

You have me crying too Tabitha. Oh honey baby sweetie pie. You bend over for

that man! Ha! I love his sense of humor.

My sister Suzi - she says she feels bad she " lied " to my mother. On a Sunday we

all ganged up on her: Myself, Sue, my husband Chriss, because she ws so sick

and wouldn't go to the hospital so we all stormed her house and demanded she go.

" We have to take you to the doctor Mom so we can get you all better! " Sue told

her.

Well, we took her to the hospital that Sunday afternoon, the following Friday

night she was gone. " We didn't get her all better! I lied to her!' Sue

cries. I tell her, " No, we did make her all better, we let her die in comfort,

painlessly, with loved ones around instead of alone at home in pain. "

Mom was so bad off that she would have died in a couple days at home, a horrible

and painful death with no one there. I won't describe to you how the doctor

described it to us.

Point is, Sue didn't lie, and neither did you Tabitha. You let him go in peace

and you are a beautiful loving wife for that. Father's Day will always remind

you of your amazing husband, the daddy of your amazing children. It is still a

day to celebrate !

I thought having Mom's death two days after Garrison's birth would be difficult

but actually it just keeps Mom's memory alive to me. Some ambigious date on

the calendar could be easily overlooked and forgotten...but today, July 10th,

is the day mom died four months ago. This is the day she quit suffering and

joined the rank of Angels. She and can talk about us sitting her on the

Clubfoot board, comparing notes in Heaven about all the cf kids they have in

common

ee

Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

- Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

Visit us on the Web!

www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

Re: OT - Tabitha- long sorry

hello everyone,

Now that the kids are in bed and I have read the emails. I kind of afraid to

tell everyone the two other things that have happened. 1st. The day after

died, my two brothers took me out to lunch before we had to go and make

arrangements. (little backround and I never drank at lunch time, something

I really don't understand much, but he just didn't like it) So I hadn't slept

and was feeling like I needed a drink. While waiting for the food I went to pick

up the glass and drink out of the straw and it was laying across the top of the

glass. I instantly knew was there with me. 2nd I was down in Davenport at

the super wal mart and had this thing of dropping things just so he could

watch me pick them up. Must be a man thing. We were checking out(his sister and

I) We were by the belt thing with no one behind us. about 2 feet from the

Magazines. We were just talking when two stacks of mag. fell all the way across

the floor right to my feet. At

this point I was thinking is just messing with me and was not going to

give him the joy of watching me , so I made his sister pick them up. It is nice

to know he is there, but you have to wonder sometimes if he is just trying to

let me know or scare me.

Something else I would like to share. passed on Fathers day, a sunday.

Friday night he started to get bad. We had our last talks that night. About his

grandfathers being with him and him not wanting to leave me and the kids. He

also told me he would wait for me again. Funny because I would never date him in

Highschool and he waited to be with me. I knew we were getting close when he was

seeing people that had passed in our living room. That night he was also saying

how bright it was in our house. No lights on and middle of the night. By

Saturday morning he could no longer talk. Was trying as hard as he could. I when

I would tell him I loved him, he would try so hard to say it back. I would just

have to tell him I knew. By that night he could no longer move. Father's Day

came and we had alot of people here visiting. Both children, but could no

longer open his eyes. When I would sit and hold his hand and talk to him, all

the hairs on his arms

and chest would stand straight up. So I knew he felt me there. It did not do

this with anyone else. Before he got worse I told him I didn't want him to go on

Fathers day, because it would make it to hard for me and the kids. So about 9pm,

was struggling so hard to breath. His mother and I told him Fathers Day

was over and everyone was in bed. (What I am about to tell you is the hardest

thing I have ever done.) So I lay in the bed next to him with hairs standing up

and all. Kissing him and telling him how much I love him, that I will see him

again soon, And he opened his eyes for the last time, but would look at only me,

not his mother. I continued to tell him to just go to sleep, that everything

would be ok. His mother was telling him " mommy says go, mommy says go " This

whole time he would not take his eyes off of me. I kissed him so many times that

last hour. Finally around 10:30 I asked him if he was going to go fishing with

his grandpa, and he looked

straight up in the air and lifted both hands over his face like he was not

ready to go then he was gone. That was the longest hour and a half in my life. I

felt terrrible that I lied to him and told him everything would be alright. I

just didn't want him to hurt anymore. I have wanted to share this here, but it

is hard for me to relive that night. As I am just crying know, it running down

my shirt. \

So, I guess for any of you who don't believe that there is something else out

there. Here is your proof. I know is here with me everyday. Not only

checking on me but the kids also.

Tabitha

number23 wrote:

Tabitha, Sweetie,

Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic or in the

need of mind altering medications. I think what you describe is a beautiful and

precious event.

The process you are traveling through is different for each person. For years,

my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff, like Grandma had

stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my mother's cigarett smoke. Who

is to say?

It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you think

came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe. If you think you're

losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

You and had what most people only read about in books - a life time of

loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be possible for a loving

husband to just come see you if he felt the need to. Why not? He obviously loved

you deeply, as you loved him. As a person who has never been fortunate enough to

experience the kind of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that

was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. will

never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if you can to

celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of a hurry to dispose of

the reminders, painful as they may be at the moment.

I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a grief

support group somewhere you could join to help you express your feelings in a

safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a collage of his photos to

hang on the wall, sharing stories and memories as you work on it. And perhaps

like me, when you thank God at night, tell him to tell hello and that you

love him. I say, " If you see Mom around... "

She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or do some

silly thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her.

When I pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya doing? " I talk to her a lot

actually. I have also been talking to a HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And

like suggeted I do, I wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or wrong way

for you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in school or something.

When we had to go to Mom's service I told , " I've never done this before

either, so I don't know how anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us

to remember is to be polite to other visitors. "

We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't ever feel like

you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us. When you see around,

tell him we said hello.

ee

Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

- Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

Visit us on the Web!

www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Tabitha,

You have me crying as well now, so sad and beautiful

at the same time... And I don't think you lied to

him, you just said what was right and needed just

then. He needed to hear from you that he could go and

everything would be all right. And after some time,

I'm sure things will be all right for you and your

family, and 's memory will always be with you.

Now I personally believe in faulty appliances and

coincidences rather than ghosts but who knows... If

it's comforting to you then I can't see anything wrong

with it, as long as it doesn't take over your life of

course. And I'm sure wouldn't want you to be

scared!

All the best wishes to you,

with (3.5y)

and Alister (3.5y, right CF, Ponseti method, UK)

--- Yarolim wrote:

> hello everyone,

>

> Now that the kids are in bed and I have read the

> emails. I kind of afraid to tell everyone the two

> other things that have happened. 1st. The day

> after died, my two brothers took me out to

> lunch before we had to go and make arrangements.

> (little backround and I never drank at lunch

> time, something I really don't understand much, but

> he just didn't like it) So I hadn't slept and was

> feeling like I needed a drink. While waiting for

> the food I went to pick up the glass and drink out

> of the straw and it was laying across the top of the

> glass. I instantly knew was there with me.

> 2nd I was down in Davenport at the super wal mart

> and had this thing of dropping things just so

> he could watch me pick them up. Must be a man

> thing. We were checking out(his sister and I) We

> were by the belt thing with no one behind us. about

> 2 feet from the Magazines. We were just talking

> when two stacks of mag. fell all the way across the

> floor right to my feet. At

> this point I was thinking is just messing

> with me and was not going to give him the joy of

> watching me , so I made his sister pick them up. It

> is nice to know he is there, but you have to wonder

> sometimes if he is just trying to let me know or

> scare me.

>

> Something else I would like to share.

> passed on Fathers day, a sunday. Friday night he

> started to get bad. We had our last talks that

> night. About his grandfathers being with him and

> him not wanting to leave me and the kids. He also

> told me he would wait for me again. Funny because I

> would never date him in Highschool and he waited to

> be with me. I knew we were getting close when he

> was seeing people that had passed in our living

> room. That night he was also saying how bright it

> was in our house. No lights on and middle of the

> night. By Saturday morning he could no longer talk.

> Was trying as hard as he could. I when I would

> tell him I loved him, he would try so hard to say it

> back. I would just have to tell him I knew. By

> that night he could no longer move. Father's Day

> came and we had alot of people here visiting. Both

> children, but could no longer open his eyes.

> When I would sit and hold his hand and talk to him,

> all the hairs on his arms

> and chest would stand straight up. So I knew he

> felt me there. It did not do this with anyone else.

> Before he got worse I told him I didn't want him to

> go on Fathers day, because it would make it to hard

> for me and the kids. So about 9pm, was

> struggling so hard to breath. His mother and I told

> him Fathers Day was over and everyone was in bed.

> (What I am about to tell you is the hardest thing I

> have ever done.) So I lay in the bed next to him

> with hairs standing up and all. Kissing him and

> telling him how much I love him, that I will see him

> again soon, And he opened his eyes for the last

> time, but would look at only me, not his mother. I

> continued to tell him to just go to sleep, that

> everything would be ok. His mother was telling him

> " mommy says go, mommy says go " This whole time he

> would not take his eyes off of me. I kissed him so

> many times that last hour. Finally around 10:30 I

> asked him if he was going to go fishing with his

> grandpa, and he looked

> straight up in the air and lifted both hands over

> his face like he was not ready to go then he was

> gone. That was the longest hour and a half in my

> life. I felt terrrible that I lied to him and told

> him everything would be alright. I just didn't want

> him to hurt anymore. I have wanted to share this

> here, but it is hard for me to relive that night.

> As I am just crying know, it running down my shirt.

> \

>

> So, I guess for any of you who don't believe that

> there is something else out there. Here is your

> proof. I know is here with me everyday. Not

> only checking on me but the kids also.

>

> Tabitha

>

> number23 wrote:

> Tabitha, Sweetie,

>

> Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you

> are psychotic or in the need of mind altering

> medications. I think what you describe is a

> beautiful and precious event.

>

> The process you are traveling through is different

> for each person. For years, my mother would smell

> her mother's perfume. Just a wiff, like Grandma had

> stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my

> mother's cigarett smoke. Who is to say?

>

> It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone

> here. If you think came to see you, that's a

> perfectlly OK thing to believe. If you think you're

> losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

>

> You and had what most people only read about

> in books - a life time of loving. I tend to believe

> a loving God would let it be possible for a loving

> husband to just come see you if he felt the need to.

> Why not? He obviously loved you deeply, as you loved

> him. As a person who has never been fortunate enough

> to experience the kind of bond the two of you had, I

> guess it might hold true that was better to have

> loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

> will never be completely gone from you heart,

> or your life. Try if you can to celebrate the love

> you shared and don't be in too much of a hurry to

> dispose of the reminders, painful as they may be at

> the moment.

>

> I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but

> perhaps there is a grief support group somewhere you

> could join to help you express your feelings in a

> safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a

> collage of his photos to hang on the wall, sharing

> stories and memories as you work on it. And perhaps

> like me, when you thank God at night, tell him to

> tell hello and that you love him. I say, " If

> you see Mom around... "

>

> She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see

> the kids grow or do some silly thing they come up

> with. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her.

> When I pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya

> doing? " I talk to her a lot actually. I have also

> been talking to a HOSPICE grief counselor via email.

> And like suggeted I do, I wrote her a long

> letter and that did help too.

>

> I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no

> " Right " way or wrong way for you to feel right now.

> It's not like we learn this in school or something.

> When we had to go to Mom's service I told ,

> " I've never done this before either, so I don't know

> how anymore than you do - I think the only rule for

> us to remember is to be polite to other visitors. "

>

> We all love you dearly and support you completely.

> Please don't ever feel like you cant say what is

> honestly in your heart to us. When you see

> around, tell him we said hello.

>

> ee

> Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

> - Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

> Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

> Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

>

> Visit us on the Web!

> www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Yahoo! Small

> Business.

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

___________________________________________________________

Try the all-new Yahoo! Mail. " The New Version is radically easier to use " – The

Wall Street Journal

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[Guest guest]

Tabitha~ You have a very beautiful story to tell for such a sad event. You will

always have his memory with you and the fact that you were there to comfort him

when he needed you. I don't know how you were able to type it as I could hardly

read it. sounds like a wonderful man! As for him letting you know he is

here or just scaring you, I guess it could be both depending on what kind of

personality he had! I am sure you would know!!!

Yarolim wrote: hello everyone,

Now that the kids are in bed and I have read the emails. I kind of afraid to

tell everyone the two other things that have happened. 1st. The day after

died, my two brothers took me out to lunch before we had to go and make

arrangements. (little backround and I never drank at lunch time, something

I really don't understand much, but he just didn't like it) So I hadn't slept

and was feeling like I needed a drink. While waiting for the food I went to pick

up the glass and drink out of the straw and it was laying across the top of the

glass. I instantly knew was there with me. 2nd I was down in Davenport at

the super wal mart and had this thing of dropping things just so he could

watch me pick them up. Must be a man thing. We were checking out(his sister and

I) We were by the belt thing with no one behind us. about 2 feet from the

Magazines. We were just talking when two stacks of mag. fell all the way across

the floor right to my feet. At

this point I was thinking is just messing with me and was not going to

give him the joy of watching me , so I made his sister pick them up. It is nice

to know he is there, but you have to wonder sometimes if he is just trying to

let me know or scare me.

Something else I would like to share. passed on Fathers day, a sunday.

Friday night he started to get bad. We had our last talks that night. About his

grandfathers being with him and him not wanting to leave me and the kids. He

also told me he would wait for me again. Funny because I would never date him in

Highschool and he waited to be with me. I knew we were getting close when he was

seeing people that had passed in our living room. That night he was also saying

how bright it was in our house. No lights on and middle of the night. By

Saturday morning he could no longer talk. Was trying as hard as he could. I when

I would tell him I loved him, he would try so hard to say it back. I would just

have to tell him I knew. By that night he could no longer move. Father's Day

came and we had alot of people here visiting. Both children, but could no

longer open his eyes. When I would sit and hold his hand and talk to him, all

the hairs on his arms

and chest would stand straight up. So I knew he felt me there. It did not do

this with anyone else. Before he got worse I told him I didn't want him to go on

Fathers day, because it would make it to hard for me and the kids. So about 9pm,

was struggling so hard to breath. His mother and I told him Fathers Day

was over and everyone was in bed. (What I am about to tell you is the hardest

thing I have ever done.) So I lay in the bed next to him with hairs standing up

and all. Kissing him and telling him how much I love him, that I will see him

again soon, And he opened his eyes for the last time, but would look at only me,

not his mother. I continued to tell him to just go to sleep, that everything

would be ok. His mother was telling him " mommy says go, mommy says go " This

whole time he would not take his eyes off of me. I kissed him so many times that

last hour. Finally around 10:30 I asked him if he was going to go fishing with

his grandpa, and he looked

straight up in the air and lifted both hands over his face like he was not ready

to go then he was gone. That was the longest hour and a half in my life. I felt

terrrible that I lied to him and told him everything would be alright. I just

didn't want him to hurt anymore. I have wanted to share this here, but it is

hard for me to relive that night. As I am just crying know, it running down my

shirt. \

So, I guess for any of you who don't believe that there is something else out

there. Here is your proof. I know is here with me everyday. Not only

checking on me but the kids also.

Tabitha

number23 wrote:

Tabitha, Sweetie,

Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic or in the need

of mind altering medications. I think what you describe is a beautiful and

precious event.

The process you are traveling through is different for each person. For years,

my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff, like Grandma had

stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my mother's cigarett smoke. Who

is to say?

It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you think

came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe. If you think you're

losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

You and had what most people only read about in books - a life time of

loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be possible for a loving

husband to just come see you if he felt the need to. Why not? He obviously loved

you deeply, as you loved him. As a person who has never been fortunate enough to

experience the kind of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that

was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. will

never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if you can to

celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of a hurry to dispose of

the reminders, painful as they may be at the moment.

I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a grief

support group somewhere you could join to help you express your feelings in a

safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a collage of his photos to

hang on the wall, sharing stories and memories as you work on it. And perhaps

like me, when you thank God at night, tell him to tell hello and that you

love him. I say, " If you see Mom around... "

She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or do some silly

thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. When I

pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya doing? " I talk to her a lot actually.

I have also been talking to a HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And like

suggeted I do, I wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or wrong way for

you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in school or something. When

we had to go to Mom's service I told , " I've never done this before either,

so I don't know how anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us to

remember is to be polite to other visitors. "

We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't ever feel like

you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us. When you see around,

tell him we said hello.

ee

Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

- Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

Visit us on the Web!

www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

[Guest guest]

Oh Tabitha, you have such strength in you for being able to share those last

moments with us. The passing on of loved ones can be so painful, and yet there

are things that go along with it that many of us don't understand. You're one

tough chick to be able to humor him (with those magazines at the store) even

through this difficult time. I wish more of us had your strength.

Yarolim wrote: hello everyone,

Now that the kids are in bed and I have read the emails. I kind of afraid to

tell everyone the two other things that have happened. 1st. The day after

died, my two brothers took me out to lunch before we had to go and make

arrangements. (little backround and I never drank at lunch time, something

I really don't understand much, but he just didn't like it) So I hadn't slept

and was feeling like I needed a drink. While waiting for the food I went to pick

up the glass and drink out of the straw and it was laying across the top of the

glass. I instantly knew was there with me. 2nd I was down in Davenport at

the super wal mart and had this thing of dropping things just so he could

watch me pick them up. Must be a man thing. We were checking out(his sister and

I) We were by the belt thing with no one behind us. about 2 feet from the

Magazines. We were just talking when two stacks of mag. fell all the way across

the floor right to my feet. At

this point I was thinking is just messing with me and was not going to

give him the joy of watching me , so I made his sister pick them up. It is nice

to know he is there, but you have to wonder sometimes if he is just trying to

let me know or scare me.

Something else I would like to share. passed on Fathers day, a sunday.

Friday night he started to get bad. We had our last talks that night. About his

grandfathers being with him and him not wanting to leave me and the kids. He

also told me he would wait for me again. Funny because I would never date him in

Highschool and he waited to be with me. I knew we were getting close when he was

seeing people that had passed in our living room. That night he was also saying

how bright it was in our house. No lights on and middle of the night. By

Saturday morning he could no longer talk. Was trying as hard as he could. I when

I would tell him I loved him, he would try so hard to say it back. I would just

have to tell him I knew. By that night he could no longer move. Father's Day

came and we had alot of people here visiting. Both children, but could no

longer open his eyes. When I would sit and hold his hand and talk to him, all

the hairs on his arms

and chest would stand straight up. So I knew he felt me there. It did not do

this with anyone else. Before he got worse I told him I didn't want him to go on

Fathers day, because it would make it to hard for me and the kids. So about 9pm,

was struggling so hard to breath. His mother and I told him Fathers Day

was over and everyone was in bed. (What I am about to tell you is the hardest

thing I have ever done.) So I lay in the bed next to him with hairs standing up

and all. Kissing him and telling him how much I love him, that I will see him

again soon, And he opened his eyes for the last time, but would look at only me,

not his mother. I continued to tell him to just go to sleep, that everything

would be ok. His mother was telling him " mommy says go, mommy says go " This

whole time he would not take his eyes off of me. I kissed him so many times that

last hour. Finally around 10:30 I asked him if he was going to go fishing with

his grandpa, and he looked

straight up in the air and lifted both hands over his face like he was not ready

to go then he was gone. That was the longest hour and a half in my life. I felt

terrrible that I lied to him and told him everything would be alright. I just

didn't want him to hurt anymore. I have wanted to share this here, but it is

hard for me to relive that night. As I am just crying know, it running down my

shirt. \

So, I guess for any of you who don't believe that there is something else out

there. Here is your proof. I know is here with me everyday. Not only

checking on me but the kids also.

Tabitha

number23 wrote:

Tabitha, Sweetie,

Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic or in the need

of mind altering medications. I think what you describe is a beautiful and

precious event.

The process you are traveling through is different for each person. For years,

my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff, like Grandma had

stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my mother's cigarett smoke. Who

is to say?

It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you think

came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe. If you think you're

losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

You and had what most people only read about in books - a life time of

loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be possible for a loving

husband to just come see you if he felt the need to. Why not? He obviously loved

you deeply, as you loved him. As a person who has never been fortunate enough to

experience the kind of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that

was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. will

never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if you can to

celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of a hurry to dispose of

the reminders, painful as they may be at the moment.

I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a grief

support group somewhere you could join to help you express your feelings in a

safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a collage of his photos to

hang on the wall, sharing stories and memories as you work on it. And perhaps

like me, when you thank God at night, tell him to tell hello and that you

love him. I say, " If you see Mom around... "

She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or do some silly

thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. When I

pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya doing? " I talk to her a lot actually.

I have also been talking to a HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And like

suggeted I do, I wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or wrong way for

you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in school or something. When

we had to go to Mom's service I told , " I've never done this before either,

so I don't know how anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us to

remember is to be polite to other visitors. "

We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't ever feel like

you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us. When you see around,

tell him we said hello.

ee

Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

- Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

Visit us on the Web!

www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

[Guest guest]

Oh Tabitha, you are such a kind, loving, and strong person. I admire

you sooo much. Thank you for sharing such a personal story with all

of us. You had me both laughing with the magazine story and crying

with your unselfish love you shared with him. You were everything to

obviously, and how you put his needs before yours especially on

Father's Day (when that was the one day you did not want him to leave)

is truly a gift you gave to . You didn't lie to him, you just

helped him at the time he needed it most. I have heard of that

happening so often before people go, that they need permission from

their loved ones to go on. You are amazing!!! You two have a love

that most people never get to experience. I'm so glad he is

reminding you how much he loves you in his own ways from heaven.

They always say true love is amazing and has no boundaries. Looks

like even from heaven, is finding ways to touch you. Hugs to

you and the children. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, but I only

have skimmed messages on this board twice this week and obviously

missed your posting and a few others.

Joyce

> Tabitha, Sweetie,

>

> Our hearts go out to you. I for one don't think you are psychotic

or in the need of mind altering medications. I think what you

describe is a beautiful and precious event.

>

> The process you are traveling through is different for each person.

For years, my mother would smell her mother's perfume. Just a wiff,

like Grandma had stopped in a moment. Now days, my sister smells my

mother's cigarett smoke. Who is to say?

>

> It's not a religious debate. I say that to everyone here. If you

think came to see you, that's a perfectlly OK thing to believe.

If you think you're losing your mind, well hang in there, you're not.

>

> You and had what most people only read about in books - a

life time of loving. I tend to believe a loving God would let it be

possible for a loving husband to just come see you if he felt the

need to. Why not? He obviously loved you deeply, as you loved him. As

a person who has never been fortunate enough to experience the kind

of bond the two of you had, I guess it might hold true that was

better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

will never be completely gone from you heart, or your life. Try if

you can to celebrate the love you shared and don't be in too much of

a hurry to dispose of the reminders, painful as they may be at the

moment.

>

> I don't know your church affiliations, etc., but perhaps there is a

grief support group somewhere you could join to help you express your

feelings in a safe enviornment. Maybe the kids and you can build a

collage of his photos to hang on the wall, sharing stories and

memories as you work on it. And perhaps like me, when you thank God

at night, tell him to tell hello and that you love him. I

say, " If you see Mom around... "

>

> She was a loon, but I do wish Mom was here to see the kids grow or

do some silly thing they come up with. I wish I could pick up the

phone and call her. When I pass her house, I say, " Hey mom, how'r ya

doing? " I talk to her a lot actually. I have also been talking to a

HOSPICE grief counselor via email. And like suggeted I do, I

wrote her a long letter and that did help too.

>

> I guess I just want to reassure you that ther is no " Right " way or

wrong way for you to feel right now. It's not like we learn this in

school or something. When we had to go to Mom's service I told

, " I've never done this before either, so I don't know how

anymore than you do - I think the only rule for us to remember is to

be polite to other visitors. "

>

> We all love you dearly and support you completely. Please don't

ever feel like you cant say what is honestly in your heart to us.

When you see around, tell him we said hello.

>

> ee

> Mother of 3 Clubfooted Sons:

> - Bilateral Club Feet April 1998

> Everett - Bilateral Club Feet September 2003

> Garrison - Bilateral Club Feet March 2006

>

> Visit us on the Web!

> www.WildlifeRevivalTaxidermy.com

>

>