Re: Feelings...

[Guest guest]

Oh, Christee, (((Hugs))). I have days like this (weeks sometimes!), and I'm

sorry you're feeling so down.

My son Grant was born with spina bifida and other anomolies to go with it. I'm

still sorting through the emotions, what ifs, whys and all that good stuff. My

advice (that I need to remember to take!) is to allow yourself the feelings,

emotions, but not to dwell in them. Don't micro-focus on the problem for too

long, but allow yourself to feel bummed for a short bit.

One of the hardest things for me is the why. It is just a question that isn't

going to be answered. Sometimes it is revealed but often it is what it is, and

the why isn't important. I don't understand why Grant has spina bifida. I was

taking my folic acid, I was eating quite healthy, I was praying for a healthy

baby, so why? I don't know, and I may never know.

I want to say, i also have a daughter with a unilateral clubfoot, and she's

seven now. It wasn't atypical, but she was in casts for six months and almost

had to have surgery. I feel very blessed that we didn't have surgery, but her

toenails are quite malformed. That's more noticeable than her foot's slight

difference and her calves' difference. But, really, it isn't a physical

disability in the long run. Half the time now I forget she had casts and a

brace at one time! Grant is another story, and we're just beginning our

journey with him.

((((HUGS)))) again.

Joy

--- Christee wrote:

> I just wanted to vent a little I guess. My daughter as most of you know has

> A-Typical CF. I just dont understand sometimes WHY? No one does I guess. I

> just feel like she is getting the short end of the stick. She didnt deserve

> this. We dont deserve this. No one does. Before she was born I had some

> issues, and they though that she wouldnt live at first, then they thought she

> would be preemie. She was born full term though. She was Ok for the most part

> at birth. The umbilicle cord wrapped around her neck and choked her out, so

> she had to be on a ventilator briefly. When I was 20 weeks prego, 2 days

> after we found out she was a girl (this was exciting as we have 3 boys) the

> problems started happening, and I was put on bedrest for 2 1/2 months. STRICT

> bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan for a long time! Part of that was briefly

> in the hospital, and the other part was at home with my loving husband taking

> care of me. My 3 boys running amuck or depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I

> always said

> back then that I would rather have a child with a physical disability rather

> that a mental one (my oldest has some mental/learning/speech delays) cause I

> thought it would be 'easier'. WRONG! I think my depression about this has

> finally bit me in the a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been

> cheated! I feel angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe

> I could have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt

> instinked about her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on the back

> of her foot is light, but fairly large. She has a wad of scar tissue there.

> More that most Im sure! It's Ok, per say, for a boy to have physical

> differences, but not girls in societys eyes. I feel like it's my fault. All

> of it. Like I could of done something more. Something better for her! I cry

> to even think about it. I walk around numb per say. I WANT people to look at

> her, and to ask whats wrong with her. As if to torchure myself. The only

> thing I did right I

> know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the last 5

> months (Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood disorder'. Depression,

> anxiety, etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder what things would have been

> like if I had found a GOOD Dr. to begin with. I know God does everything for

> a reason, but I need a break. No more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I

> thank God everyday for my daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else

> wrong with her. She is such a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones

> day. Really, she can. I just hope she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed

> up as she gets older, and then blames me for it. I already feel guilty. I can

> barely even bring myself to get her her shots as I feel like she's been

> through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o( I'm afraid she'll relapse and

> have to have surgery, or it will be my fault. I dunno.....Thanks all for

> letting me vent...........

>

> Christee

> Mother of...

> *Josh

> **Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

> ***Dylan (4 yrs old)

> ****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

> Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

> *P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

> w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

> Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! Mail

> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Christee,

Lots of hugs going out to you. It is so hard to have a child with a birth

defect and watch them suffer through treatments. I know you know intellectually

that you didn't cause her club feet but as moms we tend to take on the

responsibility for everything for our kids, even things we didn't cause. I

don't have guilt about 's feet, but I do share your thoughts of how it is

somehow colossally unfair for a baby to go through what our babies have gone

through.

's feet are somewhat atypical, as well, though not the typical atypical

fat feet like Lilee's. Her toes don't look right. They curve under and the big

toes are crooked and turn in. Even after seeing Dr. Ponseti I still have times

when I wonder if her feet will turn out okay and be feet that she can be proud

of in sandals someday. I have thought more than once that it wouldn't matter

nearly so much if she were a boy since boy's feet/men's feet are not expected to

look nice. But I want her to never feel ashamed of her feet, even if her toes

don't ever totally straighten out. I think much of that will depend on how I

present it to her as she grows, though. The same with Lilee. You can help her

to feel good about herself even if she has a scar or some scar tissue on her

feet.

With your hard pregnancy and then having a child with atypical club feet...well,

I think anyone would be depressed. If you need help with medication or therapy,

please get it. I have had both (for other issues, not for the club feet) and

have found them to be very beneficial.

On the hard days, I pray a lot and I know that God brought this to our

family...and to ...for a purpose because He doesn't make mistakes. We got

the babies we needed, club feet and all...and they got the families (including

the moms) they needed. I hope that helps and feel free to email me privately if

you ever want to vent. BTW, I have a son with speech and other delays, as well.

It is hard to meet everyone's needs and to understand the whys and wherefores of

having two kids with special needs of some sort (out of four, which also applies

to both of us, since I have four kids as well.) I do think that, in the end,

when our little club footed babies are adults, the fact that they were born with

a birth defect will be almost a non-issue. Take care of yourself, Christee, so

you can take care of all of your sweet kiddos!

Carol and

Feelings...

I just wanted to vent a little I guess. My daughter as most of you know has

A-Typical CF. I just dont understand sometimes WHY? No one does I guess. I just

feel like she is getting the short end of the stick. She didnt deserve this. We

dont deserve this. No one does. Before she was born I had some issues, and they

though that she wouldnt live at first, then they thought she would be preemie.

She was born full term though. She was Ok for the most part at birth. The

umbilicle cord wrapped around her neck and choked her out, so she had to be on a

ventilator briefly. When I was 20 weeks prego, 2 days after we found out she was

a girl (this was exciting as we have 3 boys) the problems started happening, and

I was put on bedrest for 2 1/2 months. STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan

for a long time! Part of that was briefly in the hospital, and the other part

was at home with my loving husband taking care of me. My 3 boys running amuck or

depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

back then that I would rather have a child with a physical disability rather

that a mental one (my oldest has some mental/learning/speech delays) cause I

thought it would be 'easier'. WRONG! I think my depression about this has

finally bit me in the a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated!

I feel angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I could

have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt instinked about

her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on the back of her foot is

light, but fairly large. She has a wad of scar tissue there. More that most Im

sure! It's Ok, per say, for a boy to have physical differences, but not girls in

societys eyes. I feel like it's my fault. All of it. Like I could of done

something more. Something better for her! I cry to even think about it. I walk

around numb per say. I WANT people to look at her, and to ask whats wrong with

her. As if to torchure myself. The only thing I did right I

know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the last 5 months

(Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood disorder'. Depression, anxiety,

etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder what things would have been like if I had

found a GOOD Dr. to begin with. I know God does everything for a reason, but I

need a break. No more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank God everyday for

my daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with her. She is such

a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day. Really, she can. I just hope

she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed up as she gets older, and then blames

me for it. I already feel guilty. I can barely even bring myself to get her her

shots as I feel like she's been through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o(

I'm afraid she'll relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be my fault. I

dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

Awww Christee, you musn't feel that you did anything wrong! Club foot

isn't caused by anything we did or didn't do!! The fact that Lillee's

foot has been corrected with the Ponseti method and wasn't surgically

corrected right off the bat should really give you some sense of

sollace.

When Grace was born with her kidney issues and then the suprise of cf

on top of it the first thing my mom said was 'at least it isn't cleft

pallet' and really there are so many worse conditions/deformaties out

there. I know that you know that and really just needed to vent but

try to keep that in mind. We were recently at Children's hospital

where Grace had her kidney removed and her ureter repaired and let me

tell you, there were some really really sick kids there. Made me stop

and count my blessings I can tell you that!

I think that sometimes we just need to deal with things one day at a

time through the rough patches. Keep your chin up girl!

Big hugs from us

& Grace

>

> I just wanted to vent a little I guess. My daughter as most of you

know has A-Typical CF. I just dont understand sometimes WHY? No one

does I guess. I just feel like she is getting the short end of the

stick. She didnt deserve this. We dont deserve this. No one does.

Before she was born I had some issues, and they though that she

wouldnt live at first, then they thought she would be preemie. She

was born full term though. She was Ok for the most part at birth. The

umbilicle cord wrapped around her neck and choked her out, so she had

to be on a ventilator briefly. When I was 20 weeks prego, 2 days

after we found out she was a girl (this was exciting as we have 3

boys) the problems started happening, and I was put on bedrest for 2

1/2 months. STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan for a long

time! Part of that was briefly in the hospital, and the other part

was at home with my loving husband taking care of me. My 3 boys

running amuck or depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

> back then that I would rather have a child with a physical

disability rather that a mental one (my oldest has some

mental/learning/speech delays) cause I thought it would be 'easier'.

WRONG! I think my depression about this has finally bit me in the

a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated! I feel

angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I could

have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt

instinked about her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on

the back of her foot is light, but fairly large. She has a wad of

scar tissue there. More that most Im sure! It's Ok, per say, for a

boy to have physical differences, but not girls in societys eyes. I

feel like it's my fault. All of it. Like I could of done something

more. Something better for her! I cry to even think about it. I walk

around numb per say. I WANT people to look at her, and to ask whats

wrong with her. As if to torchure myself. The only thing I did right I

> know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the

last 5 months (Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood

disorder'. Depression, anxiety, etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder

what things would have been like if I had found a GOOD Dr. to begin

with. I know God does everything for a reason, but I need a break. No

more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank God everyday for my

daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with her. She

is such a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day. Really,

she can. I just hope she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed up as

she gets older, and then blames me for it. I already feel guilty. I

can barely even bring myself to get her her shots as I feel like

she's been through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o( I'm afraid

she'll relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be my fault. I

dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

>

> Christee

> Mother of...

> *Josh

> **Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

> ***Dylan (4 yrs old)

> ****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris

(R foot) & Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

> *P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in

the P/M's w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

> Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! Mail

> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Christee,

I'm new to this board and although my bcf baby isn't here yet (I was

due yesterday!), I just want to say that I understand where you are

coming from, especially with all the challenges that have been

placed in front of you, and that its OK to feel the way you do. Our

circumstances do not compare but I just feel like I need to share

this with you...

I'm new to CF, my husband has a distant cousin who was also BCF, and

no one in his family talks about it. We've done our research and are

fully prepared to welcome our new baby and take him straight to Dr.

Colburn. In the long run, we are confident that everything will be

fine.

About 2 weeks ago, while I was having some false labor pains, I

somehow snapped! I became hysterical (literally throwing stuff

around the house) and spent the day crying, that if I gave birth

that night, I didn't want anyone to see my CF baby. Looking back, I

was being protective, I was being selfish, I was ashamed and I was

very very scared about my own reaction to seeing and holding my new

baby with these " feet " . What would people think? Most of my

friends and family know already but would they react the same way I

was that day? I was afraid of the gossip that is certainly going

to start.

I emailed someone from this board to ask for help. Was I feeling

normal? She walked me through my feelings and told me everything

would be fine. So now I'm passing it forward....

I look back to that now and I'm glad I had my breakdown. I know now

that I'm surrounded by people who support me and love me. Its all

out of my system and I can't wait to hold my baby and tell him that

he's in good hands and that some day he will also stand up and be

strong enough to face challenges with his own family.

Christee, I think that you have a tremendous amount of strength and

hope and faith. Its OK to question it and challenge it. One day,

either tomorrow or 10 years from now, you will get an answer to your

question. I'm sure of it.

Take Care of Yourself!

Janice

>

> I just wanted to vent a little I guess. My daughter as most of you

know has A-Typical CF. I just dont understand sometimes WHY? No one

does I guess. I just feel like she is getting the short end of the

stick. She didnt deserve this. We dont deserve this. No one does.

Before she was born I had some issues, and they though that she

wouldnt live at first, then they thought she would be preemie. She

was born full term though. She was Ok for the most part at birth.

The umbilicle cord wrapped around her neck and choked her out, so

she had to be on a ventilator briefly. When I was 20 weeks prego, 2

days after we found out she was a girl (this was exciting as we have

3 boys) the problems started happening, and I was put on bedrest for

2 1/2 months. STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan for a long

time! Part of that was briefly in the hospital, and the other part

was at home with my loving husband taking care of me. My 3 boys

running amuck or depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

> back then that I would rather have a child with a physical

disability rather that a mental one (my oldest has some

mental/learning/speech delays) cause I thought it would be 'easier'.

WRONG! I think my depression about this has finally bit me in the

a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated! I feel

angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I

could have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my

gutt instinked about her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The

scar on the back of her foot is light, but fairly large. She has a

wad of scar tissue there. More that most Im sure! It's Ok, per say,

for a boy to have physical differences, but not girls in societys

eyes. I feel like it's my fault. All of it. Like I could of done

something more. Something better for her! I cry to even think about

it. I walk around numb per say. I WANT people to look at her, and to

ask whats wrong with her. As if to torchure myself. The only thing I

did right I

> know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the

last 5 months (Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood

disorder'. Depression, anxiety, etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder

what things would have been like if I had found a GOOD Dr. to begin

with. I know God does everything for a reason, but I need a break.

No more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank God everyday for

my daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with her.

She is such a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day.

Really, she can. I just hope she is Ok, you know. That she isnt

messed up as she gets older, and then blames me for it. I already

feel guilty. I can barely even bring myself to get her her shots as

I feel like she's been through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o

( I'm afraid she'll relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be

my fault. I dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

>

> Christee

> Mother of...

> *Josh

> **Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

> ***Dylan (4 yrs old)

> ****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris

(R foot) & Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

> *P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in

the P/M's w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

> Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! Mail

> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My Dr. prescribed me Prozac. I havent taken it though. It has some side effects

with breastfeeding. I just dont want to add another thing for Lilee to deal

with. I sometimes get up the nerve, but then it goes away as quickly as it came

on. I know it may not just pass on its own. Ive been hoping for that for the

last few months. Some days are worse than others.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Mail

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. All of you. I DO appreciate it!

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Michell,

I know what you mean about other kids. When we were in Iowa at the RMH, I

almost felt out of place. To see all those really sick kids there. I felt a

little uncomfortable sometimes. Almost like we shouldnt be there cause Lilee

didnt have a serius medical condition like they did. But I knew it was right.

And just because she had a not as serious issue didnt mean it was any easier!

But somewhat comforting. I know its not my fault, but somehow still have guilt.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Mail

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

then speak to your dr. about your desire to breast feed and ask for a less toxic

alternative, and look in to more " organic " types of treatment from vitimins,

herbs, etc., (???)...and from non medical sources like yoga, meditation, .....

but don't ignore the feelings, find help to cope with them.

s.

----- Original Message -----

My Dr. prescribed me Prozac. I havent taken it though. It has some side

effects with breastfeeding. I just dont want to add another thing for Lilee to

deal with. I sometimes get up the nerve, but then it goes away as quickly as it

came on. I know it may not just pass on its own. Ive been hoping for that for

the last few months. Some days are worse than others.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Mail

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

Congrats on the new baby to be! Thanks for your words. As for what others see

and think when your new arrival has come...I found that I (actually it was my

mom!) only took 1 pic of her foot when she was a newborn. From my end, I wish I

would have taken more!

People will look at you funny like you beat your baby. People will ask all

sorts of questions when s/he is in the cast. Once you get into the braces most

know that it is a medical devise. The 'looks' go away. I do occasionally get a

real ignorant person that will ask my if I put the braces on her so she doesnt

crawl around and get into things! DUH...one of these times I am going to say

yes...lol....

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Mail

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

I have discussed the side effects with him a little. He seems to be confident

that she will have little/no effects from it. But my pharmisist seems to differ

her opinion.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Mail

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

Christee four kids is a lot to handle under the best of circumstances - and I

would imagine there is a bit of baby blues going on here because yes, dealing

with medical issues is depressing. You did the best you could with what you

had, and when something better came along, you traded up to it. Where is the

shame in that? There isn't any. When my oldest asks why his feet are funky and

his brother's feet are OK, sure, it's hard to explain to him that I was ignorant

when he was born but much smarter before his brother(s) arrived. But I did the

best I could with what I had at the time - and when I found Dr. Ponseti I traded

up. Just like you.

Do find yourself help with coping, this is a real thing, not imaginary, with

real risks to your own health and the health of your kiddos. We're here for

you though. Vent away.

s.

Re: Re: Feelings...

Congrats on the new baby to be! Thanks for your words. As for what others see

and think when your new arrival has come...I found that I (actually it was my

mom!) only took 1 pic of her foot when she was a newborn. From my end, I wish I

would have taken more!

People will look at you funny like you beat your baby. People will ask all

sorts of questions when s/he is in the cast. Once you get into the braces most

know that it is a medical devise. The 'looks' go away. I do occasionally get a

real ignorant person that will ask my if I put the braces on her so she doesnt

crawl around and get into things! DUH...one of these times I am going to say

yes...lol....

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Right before I got preggers my mother told me they found masses on her chest

xrays and figured it was cancer. I fell apart and my dh sent me to a doctor who

prescribed anxiety meds for me. Less than a month later I discovered the

pergnancy. The dr. told me it was a minimal risk to take the meds but I wanted

off of them - any risk is too much risk in my mind. I just resolved to stay

calm and recognze my triggers and breath through the attacks. Then she got some

other test result that it wasn't cancer. That was great news. And then two

days after the baby was born, mom died of cancer. I have those bottles of

pills and I want to dig in to them so bad it hurts right now. But I look at the

baby and think how great he is and what the heck, I breath through it. I'm not

a hero I'm just sayin I understand not wanting meds when a baby's health is at

risk. Find ways to deal with your triggers, learn how you can breath through

them some how. Anything productive you can do is a step in the right direction.

Stay busy, do things, organize, whatever, stay productive is my advice.

s.

Re: Re: Feelings...

I have discussed the side effects with him a little. He seems to be confident

that she will have little/no effects from it. But my pharmisist seems to differ

her opinion.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

hi christee..

i don't know if you still need this but just the same...

i would just like to share what i do whenever i feel guilty about JM, my 5 year

old son who has unilateral cf -- he is in his 3rd cast and everytime we remove

his cast, he cries. and whenever he cries and whenever i see him having

difficulty walking, i feel guilty. and during those times, i cry and just pour

my heart out ..i hug my son and tell him that it's okay and that i love him and

that i will always be there for him no matter what...that i will do everything

as best as i can to help him...after letting myself cry and be guilty, i think

of one statement -- and that's " things happen for a reason " . we don't know why

our children have clubfeet, why it ocurred or what caused it -- but it did. and

we were strong enough to face it even if we don't know that reason.

and yes..vent away whenever you feel like it...we have many friends here who

will hear us out and support us all the way...

hugs to you...

cynthia

Christee wrote: I just wanted to vent a little I

guess. My daughter as most of you know has A-Typical CF. I just dont understand

sometimes WHY? No one does I guess. I just feel like she is getting the short

end of the stick. She didnt deserve this. We dont deserve this. No one does.

Before she was born I had some issues, and they though that she wouldnt live at

first, then they thought she would be preemie. She was born full term though.

She was Ok for the most part at birth. The umbilicle cord wrapped around her

neck and choked her out, so she had to be on a ventilator briefly. When I was 20

weeks prego, 2 days after we found out she was a girl (this was exciting as we

have 3 boys) the problems started happening, and I was put on bedrest for 2 1/2

months. STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan for a long time! Part of that

was briefly in the hospital, and the other part was at home with my loving

husband taking care of me. My 3 boys running amuck or

depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

back then that I would rather have a child with a physical disability rather

that a mental one (my oldest has some mental/learning/speech delays) cause I

thought it would be 'easier'. WRONG! I think my depression about this has

finally bit me in the a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated!

I feel angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I could

have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt instinked about

her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on the back of her foot is

light, but fairly large. She has a wad of scar tissue there. More that most Im

sure! It's Ok, per say, for a boy to have physical differences, but not girls in

societys eyes. I feel like it's my fault. All of it. Like I could of done

something more. Something better for her! I cry to even think about it. I walk

around numb per say. I WANT people to look at her, and to ask whats wrong with

her. As if to torchure myself. The only thing I did right I

know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the last 5 months

(Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood disorder'. Depression, anxiety,

etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder what things would have been like if I had

found a GOOD Dr. to begin with. I know God does everything for a reason, but I

need a break. No more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank God everyday for

my daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with her. She is such

a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day. Really, she can. I just hope

she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed up as she gets older, and then blames

me for it. I already feel guilty. I can barely even bring myself to get her her

shots as I feel like she's been through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o(

I'm afraid she'll relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be my fault. I

dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Christee,

I breastfed my third baby while taking Zoloft, which is the antidepressant of

choice for nursing moms. It is the most studied one and has been found not to

even cross into the milk below a certain dosage. Prozac should be relatively

safe, as well, since they are the same " class " of drugs, but there are lots of

studies of Zoloft which do not show any harm to the baby.

Dr. Jack Newman is a breastfeeding advocate and educator and he has a website

which answers many questions about nursing and meds. (Sorry, don't have it

right here, but it should be easy to find.) He will also answer emails

personally, just like Dr. Ponseti.

Taking an antidepressant while nursing is a risk/benefit ratio decision, just

like any other decision we make...but I am very conservative and decided that it

would be the better choice for me. I did struggle with the choice and suffer

without drugs for several months before deciding to take it. Feel free to email

me privately for more info.

Carol

Re: Re: Feelings...

then speak to your dr. about your desire to breast feed and ask for a less

toxic alternative, and look in to more " organic " types of treatment from

vitimins, herbs, etc., (???)...and from non medical sources like yoga,

meditation, ..... but don't ignore the feelings, find help to cope with them.

s.

----- Original Message -----

My Dr. prescribed me Prozac. I havent taken it though. It has some side

effects with breastfeeding. I just dont want to add another thing for Lilee to

deal with. I sometimes get up the nerve, but then it goes away as quickly as it

came on. I know it may not just pass on its own. Ive been hoping for that for

the last few months. Some days are worse than others.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Are you seeing a psychiatrist or therapist? I know first hand that those

medications make a huge difference, but my therapy sessions help a lot too.

Just being able to get everything off my chest makes me feel a lot better. I

understand why you wouldn't want to take the Prozac while breastfeeding, but

therapy could be really beneficial for both you and your baby in the long run.

Depression and anxiety disorders aren't something you want to mess around with,

as I'm sure you know. The therapy has really helped me deal with my feelings

about Maddie being born with clubfeet and my family's reactions to it. As of

right now, I swear my family thinks she'll never walk, no matter what I tell

them. But that's beside the point. If you ever need to talk, feel free to

email me because I'm currently being treated for depression and anxiety.

- Michele

5/18/02 and Maddie 9/6/05 bcf s 20/7

Christee wrote:

My Dr. prescribed me Prozac. I havent taken it though. It has some side

effects with breastfeeding. I just dont want to add another thing for Lilee to

deal with. I sometimes get up the nerve, but then it goes away as quickly as it

came on. I know it may not just pass on its own. Ive been hoping for that for

the last few months. Some days are worse than others.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

ee,

I am so sorry about your mother. I lost my mother to cancer right after my

first child was born. It's not fair. I found that going and talking to someone

really helped me deal with it all. Please know that we're all here for you, and

if you ever need to vent or talk, email me.

- Michele

5/18/02 and Maddie 9/6/05 bcf s 20/7

number23 wrote:

Right before I got preggers my mother told me they found masses on her chest

xrays and figured it was cancer. I fell apart and my dh sent me to a doctor who

prescribed anxiety meds for me. Less than a month later I discovered the

pergnancy. The dr. told me it was a minimal risk to take the meds but I wanted

off of them - any risk is too much risk in my mind. I just resolved to stay

calm and recognze my triggers and breath through the attacks. Then she got some

other test result that it wasn't cancer. That was great news. And then two

days after the baby was born, mom died of cancer. I have those bottles of

pills and I want to dig in to them so bad it hurts right now. But I look at the

baby and think how great he is and what the heck, I breath through it. I'm not

a hero I'm just sayin I understand not wanting meds when a baby's health is at

risk. Find ways to deal with your triggers, learn how you can breath through

them some how. Anything productive you can do is a

step in the right direction. Stay busy, do things, organize, whatever, stay

productive is my advice.

s.

Re: Re: Feelings...

I have discussed the side effects with him a little. He seems to be confident

that she will have little/no effects from it. But my pharmisist seems to differ

her opinion.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Christee,

As you might recall, I had clubfoot myself and I had all the big

surgeries - I have 5 scars, not tiny little things either. The

important thing is that my parents raised me not to be self-conscious

of them or my foot and in the long run I am not. To be sure, I went

through phases, probably around age 12 or so, where I always wore knee

socks because I didn't want anyone to see my scars. I had some times

when people would look at me funny when I asked for two different size

shoes (like at the skating rink or bowling alley), but in the end I

was always able to see how little that type of thing mattered. Of

course we all want our little girls to be beautiful and free of flaws,

but all in all, this scar will in no way prevent her from being

beautiful.

Hope this helps,

>

> I just wanted to vent a little I guess. My daughter as most of you

know has A-Typical CF. I just dont understand sometimes WHY? No one

does I guess. I just feel like she is getting the short end of the

stick. She didnt deserve this. We dont deserve this. No one does.

Before she was born I had some issues, and they though that she

wouldnt live at first, then they thought she would be preemie. She was

born full term though. She was Ok for the most part at birth. The

umbilicle cord wrapped around her neck and choked her out, so she had

to be on a ventilator briefly. When I was 20 weeks prego, 2 days after

we found out she was a girl (this was exciting as we have 3 boys) the

problems started happening, and I was put on bedrest for 2 1/2 months.

STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan for a long time! Part of

that was briefly in the hospital, and the other part was at home with

my loving husband taking care of me. My 3 boys running amuck or

depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

> back then that I would rather have a child with a physical

disability rather that a mental one (my oldest has some

mental/learning/speech delays) cause I thought it would be 'easier'.

WRONG! I think my depression about this has finally bit me in the a*s!

I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated! I feel angry, yet

sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I could have done

something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt instinked about

her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on the back of her

foot is light, but fairly large. She has a wad of scar tissue there.

More that most Im sure! It's Ok, per say, for a boy to have physical

differences, but not girls in societys eyes. I feel like it's my

fault. All of it. Like I could of done something more. Something

better for her! I cry to even think about it. I walk around numb per

say. I WANT people to look at her, and to ask whats wrong with her. As

if to torchure myself. The only thing I did right I

> know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the

last 5 months (Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood

disorder'. Depression, anxiety, etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder

what things would have been like if I had found a GOOD Dr. to begin

with. I know God does everything for a reason, but I need a break. No

more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank God everyday for my

daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with her. She

is such a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day. Really,

she can. I just hope she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed up as

she gets older, and then blames me for it. I already feel guilty. I

can barely even bring myself to get her her shots as I feel like she's

been through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o( I'm afraid she'll

relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be my fault. I

dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

>

> Christee

> Mother of...

> *Josh

> **Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

> ***Dylan (4 yrs old)

> ****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris

(R foot) & Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

> *P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in

the P/M's w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

> Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! Mail

> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Christee,

I've got my camera and video camera charged and ready to go! I just

wish this baby was too!

I remember some people, probably on this board, listing their smart

a$$ answers to strangers comments about the casts and the braces.

My favorites are " He's in casts because of a skiing accident! "

and " He's training for the Winter Olympics " . I need to practice

those in front of a mirror so that I can say with a poker face. I

think I'd also like to get the medical lingo down so that they can't

understand a word I say!! LOL!!

Take Care!

Janice

>

> Congrats on the new baby to be! Thanks for your words. As for what

others see and think when your new arrival has come...I found that I

(actually it was my mom!) only took 1 pic of her foot when she was a

newborn. From my end, I wish I would have taken more!

> People will look at you funny like you beat your baby. People

will ask all sorts of questions when s/he is in the cast. Once you

get into the braces most know that it is a medical devise.

The 'looks' go away. I do occasionally get a real ignorant person

that will ask my if I put the braces on her so she doesnt crawl

around and get into things! DUH...one of these times I am going to

say yes...lol....

>

>

> Christee

> Mother of...

> *Josh

> **Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

> ***Dylan (4 yrs old)

> ****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris

(R foot) & Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

> *P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in

the P/M's w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

> Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! Mail

> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

>

>

[Guest guest]

--- Christee wrote:

> My Dr. prescribed me Prozac. I havent taken it though. It has some side

> effects with breastfeeding. I just dont want to add another thing for Lilee

> to deal with. I sometimes get up the nerve, but then it goes away as quickly

> as it came on. I know it may not just pass on its own. Ive been hoping for

> that for the last few months. Some days are worse than others.

I have heard of Zoloft being very compatible with breastfeeding. Perhaps you

can look into that if necessary? You need to make sure to take care of you,

too.

Joy

Rose (1-99) http://www.geocities.com/joybelle15/rosesclubfootpage.html

Iris (2-01)

Spencer (3-03)

Grant (9-05) http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/grantphilip

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- bruinbelle29 wrote:

> I remember some people, probably on this board, listing their smart

> a$$ answers to strangers comments about the casts and the braces.

> My favorites are " He's in casts because of a skiing accident! "

> and " He's training for the Winter Olympics " . I need to practice

> those in front of a mirror so that I can say with a poker face. I

> think I'd also like to get the medical lingo down so that they can't

> understand a word I say!! LOL!!

I'm not much of one for saying smart comments (I get too flushed!), but boy,

give me the medical lingo and away I'll go... My son had a shunt

malfunction, and when I spoke to the nurse practitioner about some of his

symptoms, she paused and then told me I sounded like a clinical nurse. LOL I

find myself using the terminology because I want to understand as much of it as

possible.

I usually enjoy talking about stuff with people, though, and welcome their

questions, silly as they may be. It's the dirty looks I don't appreciate, which

are thankfully few.

Joy

Rose (1-99) http://www.geocities.com/joybelle15/rosesclubfootpage.html

Iris (2-01)

Spencer (3-03)

Grant (9-05) http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/grantphilip

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Also, about the meds, maybe talk to a la leche league leader or someone else who

has a copy of the book Medications and Mother's Milk by Hale. It will

give you the risk categories and tons of info on nearly any drug you can

imagine. You might be surprised at what a low risk some of this stuff is and if

it will help and you can enjoy your limited time with your baby, then it may be

worth it. If anyone wants to contact me offlist I have a copy of the book and

would be happy to look up something, if anyone is interested!

Marcia

mlnelson76@...

Re: Re: Feelings...

I have discussed the side effects with him a little. He seems to be

confident that she will have little/no effects from it. But my pharmisist seems

to differ her opinion.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Mail

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

Hey, Christee,

Sorry you're having such a tough time now. Besides sending a prayer your way,

the only thing I have to add (which may or may not be helpful) is that the

best

thing you can do for Lilee and your other kids is to take care of yourself.

Sometimes

we parents put our kids first so much that we neglect our own health & well

being -

and then the kids end up indirectly suffering the effects of that neglect.

I've had two

friends who were in the same spot you're in now; didn't want to take the meds

because

of breastfeeding. I completely understand that concern (and certainly

obsessed myself

over everything that went into my mouth when I was breastfeeding). But you

may want

to consider (just consider ...) whether or not the benefits to Lilee of a

happy & healthy

mama would outweigh either the risks to her from the meds or a switch to

formula.

Please know you're in our thoughts & prayers.

Kim

Lily, 3/28/05, lcf, P/M FAB, 16 hours a day

Tessa, 7/17/02

Christee wrote:

I just wanted to vent a little I guess. My daughter as most of you know has

A-Typical CF. I just dont understand sometimes WHY? No one does I guess. I just

feel like she is getting the short end of the stick. She didnt deserve this. We

dont deserve this. No one does. Before she was born I had some issues, and they

though that she wouldnt live at first, then they thought she would be preemie.

She was born full term though. She was Ok for the most part at birth. The

umbilicle cord wrapped around her neck and choked her out, so she had to be on a

ventilator briefly. When I was 20 weeks prego, 2 days after we found out she was

a girl (this was exciting as we have 3 boys) the problems started happening, and

I was put on bedrest for 2 1/2 months. STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan

for a long time! Part of that was briefly in the hospital, and the other part

was at home with my loving husband taking care of me. My 3 boys running amuck or

depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

back then that I would rather have a child with a physical disability rather

that a mental one (my oldest has some mental/learning/speech delays) cause I

thought it would be 'easier'. WRONG! I think my depression about this has

finally bit me in the a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated!

I feel angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I could

have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt instinked about

her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on the back of her foot is

light, but fairly large. She has a wad of scar tissue there. More that most Im

sure! It's Ok, per say, for a boy to have physical differences, but not girls in

societys eyes. I feel like it's my fault. All of it. Like I could of done

something more. Something better for her! I cry to even think about it. I walk

around numb per say. I WANT people to look at her, and to ask whats wrong with

her. As if to torchure myself. The only thing I did right I

know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the last 5 months

(Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood disorder'. Depression, anxiety,

etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder what things would have been like if I had

found a GOOD Dr. to begin with. I know God does everything for a reason, but I

need a break. No more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank God everyday for

my daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with her. She is such

a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day. Really, she can. I just hope

she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed up as she gets older, and then blames

me for it. I already feel guilty. I can barely even bring myself to get her her

shots as I feel like she's been through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o(

I'm afraid she'll relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be my fault. I

dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Mail

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

My SIL took meds for bipolar the entire time she was pregant with

both of her children. They are both perfectly healthy now, and

developing on track. She also breastfed with her first....not sure

about the second. There are varying opinions about the effects of

medications...and it all depends on the medications.

If you want to take something, do your research and find out what

fits with your needs. Doctors don't always know everything, and

neither to parmacists. I had a pharmacist this weekend tell me he

doesn't think loratidine (claritin) really works. I take it every

day for allergies, and it works great for me. Same thing goes for

pretty much any medication. Doctors and pharmacists like to make

generalizations, but sometimes forget that we are all unique and

generalizations don't always apply.

>

> Right before I got preggers my mother told me they found masses on

her chest xrays and figured it was cancer. I fell apart and my dh

sent me to a doctor who prescribed anxiety meds for me. Less than a

month later I discovered the pergnancy. The dr. told me it was a

minimal risk to take the meds but I wanted off of them - any risk is

too much risk in my mind. I just resolved to stay calm and recognze

my triggers and breath through the attacks. Then she got some other

test result that it wasn't cancer. That was great news. And then

two days after the baby was born, mom died of cancer. I have those

bottles of pills and I want to dig in to them so bad it hurts right

now. But I look at the baby and think how great he is and what the

heck, I breath through it. I'm not a hero I'm just sayin I

understand not wanting meds when a baby's health is at risk. Find

ways to deal with your triggers, learn how you can breath through

them some how. Anything productive you can do is a step in the right

direction. Stay busy, do things, organize, whatever, stay productive

is my advice.

> s.

>

> Re: Re: Feelings...

>

>

> I have discussed the side effects with him a little. He seems to

be confident that she will have little/no effects from it. But my

pharmisist seems to differ her opinion.

>

> Christee

> Mother of...

> *Josh

> **Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

> ***Dylan (4 yrs old)

> ****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot

w/Plantaris (R foot) & Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

> *P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in

the P/M's w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

> Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! Mail

> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I had someone ask me if Aleksander's shoes were a new Boppy device to

help him sit better. I took great pleasure in their discomfort when

I said, " no, he was born with clubfoot and the shoes help keep his

feet from turning back in. " They felt horrible!

Then I went on to explain the treatment, and that he was going to

grow up and be a normal, active child. But, I have to admit, I did

laugh to myself when they asked about it!

As for the staring with the casts....I actually felt worst today

taking Aleksander to the doctor for the hives he has. He looked

horrible, like he had hot water dumped on his head! I think our

natural inclination as parents is to think that everyone is staring

because of a flaw. We are conditioned to be that way. If we change

that pattern with how we react, maybe our children won't learn to be

self conscious about their differences.

> >

> > Congrats on the new baby to be! Thanks for your words. As for

what

> others see and think when your new arrival has come...I found that

I

> (actually it was my mom!) only took 1 pic of her foot when she was

a

> newborn. From my end, I wish I would have taken more!

> > People will look at you funny like you beat your baby. People

> will ask all sorts of questions when s/he is in the cast. Once you

> get into the braces most know that it is a medical devise.

> The 'looks' go away. I do occasionally get a real ignorant person

> that will ask my if I put the braces on her so she doesnt crawl

> around and get into things! DUH...one of these times I am going to

> say yes...lol....

> >

> >

> > Christee

> > Mother of...

> > *Josh

> > **Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

> > ***Dylan (4 yrs old)

> > ****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot

w/Plantaris

> (R foot) & Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

> > *P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in

> the P/M's w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

> > Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Yahoo! Mail

> > Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Oh Christee! Don't beat yourself up about it. Many of us have been through the

same thing too. I blamed myself for my son's foot since I first found out about

it. I still catch myself trying to remember what I had done during the beginning

of the pregnancy to have POSSIBLY caused this. You have done all you could to

help your daughter. So what if you went to the " wrong " doctor at the beginning??

How could you know?? How many of us have gone to the wrong doctor (for clubfeet

or whatever) and realized it only afterwards? The important thing is that you

did go to Dr. P afterwards. Your daughter will grow up and appreciate the extra

effort you made in getting her in to see the king of clubfoot doctors. So what

if she has a scar? Teenage girls (and boys!) are self-conscious about EVERYTHING

related to their bodies. Look at the big deal they make over a pimple! They

eventually grow out of the self-conscious stage and laugh at themselves for

being self-conscious about the smallest things.

There are so many kids out there with all sorts of scars from all sorts of

things. Kids these days actually think they're " cool " when they break a leg and

walk around in casts and crutches. So scars are not a rarity. I know it helps to

vent and be heard. We're here for that. But please don't let yourself get down

over this. It's only a crisis when we're in the middle of it. Once it passes, we

tend to forget and wonder how we could have made such a big deal over it. Hang

in there and know that it'll get better.

Christee wrote: I just wanted to vent a little I

guess. My daughter as most of you know has A-Typical CF. I just dont understand

sometimes WHY? No one does I guess. I just feel like she is getting the short

end of the stick. She didnt deserve this. We dont deserve this. No one does.

Before she was born I had some issues, and they though that she wouldnt live at

first, then they thought she would be preemie. She was born full term though.

She was Ok for the most part at birth. The umbilicle cord wrapped around her

neck and choked her out, so she had to be on a ventilator briefly. When I was 20

weeks prego, 2 days after we found out she was a girl (this was exciting as we

have 3 boys) the problems started happening, and I was put on bedrest for 2 1/2

months. STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan for a long time! Part of that

was briefly in the hospital, and the other part was at home with my loving

husband taking care of me. My 3 boys running amuck or

depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

back then that I would rather have a child with a physical disability rather

that a mental one (my oldest has some mental/learning/speech delays) cause I

thought it would be 'easier'. WRONG! I think my depression about this has

finally bit me in the a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated!

I feel angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I could

have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt instinked about

her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on the back of her foot is

light, but fairly large. She has a wad of scar tissue there. More that most Im

sure! It's Ok, per say, for a boy to have physical differences, but not girls in

societys eyes. I feel like it's my fault. All of it. Like I could of done

something more. Something better for her! I cry to even think about it. I walk

around numb per say. I WANT people to look at her, and to ask whats wrong with

her. As if to torchure myself. The only thing I did right I

know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the last 5 months

(Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood disorder'. Depression, anxiety,

etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder what things would have been like if I had

found a GOOD Dr. to begin with. I know God does everything for a reason, but I

need a break. No more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank God everyday for

my daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with her. She is such

a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day. Really, she can. I just hope

she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed up as she gets older, and then blames

me for it. I already feel guilty. I can barely even bring myself to get her her

shots as I feel like she's been through enough. She is due for 2 sets too! ;o(

I'm afraid she'll relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be my fault. I

dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

---------------------------------

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