Re: Feelings...

March 16, 2006

Christee, how you doing lately girl?

s.

Feelings...

I just wanted to vent a little I guess. My daughter as most of you know has

A-Typical CF. I just dont understand sometimes WHY? No one does I guess. I just

feel like she is getting the short end of the stick. She didnt deserve this. We

dont deserve this. No one does. Before she was born I had some issues, and they

though that she wouldnt live at first, then they thought she would be preemie.

She was born full term though. She was Ok for the most part at birth. The

umbilicle cord wrapped around her neck and choked her out, so she had to be on a

ventilator briefly. When I was 20 weeks prego, 2 days after we found out she was

a girl (this was exciting as we have 3 boys) the problems started happening, and

I was put on bedrest for 2 1/2 months. STRICT bedrest! I had too pee in a bedpan

for a long time! Part of that was briefly in the hospital, and the other part

was at home with my loving husband taking care of me. My 3 boys running amuck or

depressed cause mom was 'sick'. I always said

back then that I would rather have a child with a physical disability rather

that a mental one (my oldest has some mental/learning/speech delays) cause I

thought it would be 'easier'. WRONG! I think my depression about this has

finally bit me in the a*s! I feel cheated. I feel my daughter has been cheated!

I feel angry, yet sad, and guilty all at the same time. I feel maybe I could

have done something? I feel if I would have listened to my gutt instinked about

her first Dr. she wouldnt be so bad off. The scar on the back of her foot is

light, but fairly large. She has a wad of scar tissue there. More that most Im

sure! It's Ok, per say, for a boy to have physical differences, but not girls in

societys eyes. I feel like it's my fault. All of it. Like I could of done

something more. Something better for her! I cry to even think about it. I walk

around numb per say. I WANT people to look at her, and to ask whats wrong with

her. As if to torchure myself. The only thing I did right I

know for sure is take her to see Dr. P. I've gained 40lbs in the last 5

months (Lilee is 7 1/2 months). Dr. says I have 'Mood disorder'. Depression,

anxiety, etc. Ya, Im sure I do. I just wonder what things would have been like

if I had found a GOOD Dr. to begin with. I know God does everything for a

reason, but I need a break. No more stress please. Dont get me wrong. I thank

God everyday for my daughter, and that she doesnt have anything else wrong with

her. She is such a beautiful happy girl she can lighten anyones day. Really, she

can. I just hope she is Ok, you know. That she isnt messed up as she gets older,

and then blames me for it. I already feel guilty. I can barely even bring myself

to get her her shots as I feel like she's been through enough. She is due for 2

sets too! ;o( I'm afraid she'll relapse and have to have surgery, or it will be

my fault. I dunno.....Thanks all for letting me vent...........

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

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March 17, 2006

I'm here. I spoke with a Lactation/Midwife Specialist, adn she recommended some

other meds besides Prozac. I went to the Dr. and she (same clinic, diff.

doc)prescribed Zoloft and Wellbutrin. I am on day 2. The Zoloft I take daily. I

have been having some side effects from it...headaches,sleep disturbances,and a

kinda out of sorts mellow feeling. Not really likin it, but I know it takes 4

weeks to level out, so I'll try it till then. The Wellbutrin I take 1-2hrs

before " activity " to inhance Labito....I thinks thats how you spell it, but I

hate the word...lol...So I'm just kinda here for the moment. Lilee had her shots

yesterday so she was restless yesterday and tonight. I didnt get alot of sleep

last night, so I am hopin gtonight as I can sleep in....WOOHOO...I havent really

noticed too odd weird things from Lilee. She got her shots, so its kinda hard to

pinpoint what to what, ya know. But I thinks she's doing Ok. Well see as I

continue to take it. I hope she does Ok with it, and me

too. Will keep ya all updated as we go along.

Christee

Mother of...

*Josh

**Aspen~ Bilateral minor Metatarsus Adductus (6 yrs old)

***Dylan (4 yrs old)

****Lilee ~ Unilateral A-Typical (complex) Club Foot w/Plantaris (R foot) &

Mild Metatarsus Adductus (L foot).

*P/M Brace 18/24.Currently healing pressure ulcer/sore :*( (in the P/M's

w/DuoDerm & Mole Foam)

Concidering Dobbs bar & braces

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March 18, 2006

Hi Christee,

I think that you will find that you adjust to the Zoloft in a couple of weeks.

The side effects you mention are common and generally pass pretty quickly. I

personally would probably skip the Wellbutrin. Never heard of it being

prescribed for libido. Zoloft does have some potential sexual side effects,

increasing with the dosage prescribed. Typically you start out with a dosage of

about 50 mg and then up it as needed until you get relief. That is the

" gentlest " way to adjust to the med for your body. It is not uncommon to " hit a

wall " after a period of time and find that the dosage is not working for you as

it previously did and it needs to be increased. You can increase it by 50 mg at

a time, which is typical. Anyway, just my feedback based on my personal

experience and that of my clients in therapy. (I was a therapist/clinical

social worker in my " before stay at home mom life " .) So glad that you have

found something to take that you feel good about!

Carol

Re: Feelings...

I'm here. I spoke with a Lactation/Midwife Specialist, adn she recommended

some other meds besides Prozac. I went to the Dr. and she (same clinic, diff.