Re: The Grim Reaper

[Guest guest]

,

I know how you feel, right before surgery I boarded the ferry (I had surgery in

Staten Island) and thought to myself why am I doing this my family will be so

devasted if I dont make it is it fair to do this to them...I remember looking up

at the WTC and thinking I am so small compared to all of this around me and yet

I know I dont want to live like this any more...It came down to wanting more and

risking alot, taking a leap of faith and trusting in my surgeon and trusting in

god...A part of me really believes that I have a duty to take care of this

body....God doesnt create junk and a part of me believes that this is part of my

life lesson to love to take what I have improve it when I can even when the

outcome isnt certain....As usual I have rambled....Just know , that you

are not alone in those thoughts and feelings I had them and I am sure others did

as well....

*hugs*

Lisbeth

mkf5t@... wrote: Yes, I've taken to giving all of my postings some

kind of dramatic

and capitalized subject heading. Suits my mood lately.

OK--it's settling in. I'm starting to become really scared about

surgery on Tuesday. Driving home from dinner tonight (yes, fettucine

alfredo in a trough with a large Coke--no surprise there!) I was

noticing the beautiful scenery in Virginia and thinking that I might

not see it ever again after I die on the operating table next week.

THEN I started thinking about my husband and two little girls--not

about how much I would miss them, but how much THEY would miss and

need ME. The girls would be so sad and my already-somewhat-reluctant-

but-nevertheless-supportive-and-loving husband would be so full of

regrets and guilty feelings about not talking me out of the surgery.

(Like that ever would work!)

I talk to myself rationally when this happens: Gagner's mortality

rate for those with a BMI under 60 is zero; my BMI is only 46; I am

only 31 years old and healthy as ever in terms of being able to walk

long distances quickly and exercise strenuously; I am a great

candidate for surgery, etc., etc. And I pray, but maybe not as much

as I should. Neither one of these things, however, keep the death

thoughts at bay for very long.

Other than taking large doses of Xanax with a margarita chaser (don't

ya love girl drinks?), does anyone have any ideas about how to make

these worries go away for a longer amount of time? I need some

mental peace!

Thanks,

----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

, I know it's a little late for you, but I highly recommend the

" Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster " book and tape set. Even if you don't

buy into all the steps. Just the relaxation exercises made the purchase

worthwhile for me. The URL is http://www.healfaster.com/. If you have

$135 to throw around, you could try to schedule a phone consultation

with Peggy Huddleston for Monday! :-) The URL for info on private phone

consults is http://www.healfaster.com/private.html.

Deep breathing and relaxation really helped me through those nervous

times as I approached my surgery... Maybe you can try closing you eyes,

relaxing, breathing deeply and thinking positive thoughts to chase away

those fears a bit when they start to bother you.

Hugs,

M.

---

in Valrico, FL, age 39

Lap DGB/DS by Dr. Rabkin 10-19-99

http://www.duodenalswitch.com/Patients/M/melaniem.html

Direct replies: mailto:melanie@...

_________________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

Everyone get fears, I did too. I spoke with my therapist and we worked out

a visualization to use whenever one of these negative thoughts came. If you

dwell on the negative you will scare yourself " shitless "

When I got a negative thought, I would first review the reasons I'm having

this operation, health, more energy, appearance, etc. Then I would

visualize myself going in for the operation, happy. I would imagine the

doctor operating on me and everything going well. Then I would imagine

waking up in the recovery room and feeling well, no pain. Then in my room,

again no pain. Then getting up and walking, feeling well.

It worked, it would calm me down and made me feel good again about taking

this chance.

Rita Black

Open DS, Dr. Macura

4/23/01 400 lbs, BMI 63

5/1/01 391 lbs, BMI 61

5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

6/21/01 350 lbs, BMI 55

7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

6/21/01 360 lbs, BMI 55

7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

8/23/01 320 lbs, BMI 50

9/25/01 306 lbs. BMI 48

10/21/01 295 lbs. BMI 46

[Guest guest]

Rita,

You are an angel for posting this! I too have been having the

terrors these past two days. I shall use your strategies and on

Monday realize the beginning of my new life!

Hugs and thanks so much,

theresa

> ,

>

> Everyone get fears, I did too. I spoke with my therapist and we

worked out

> a visualization to use whenever one of these negative thoughts

came. If you

> dwell on the negative you will scare yourself " shitless "

> When I got a negative thought, I would first review the reasons I'm

having

> this operation, health, more energy, appearance, etc. Then I would

> visualize myself going in for the operation, happy. I would imagine

the

> doctor operating on me and everything going well. Then I would

imagine

> waking up in the recovery room and feeling well, no pain. Then in

my room,

> again no pain. Then getting up and walking, feeling well.

> It worked, it would calm me down and made me feel good again about

taking

> this chance.

>

> Rita Black

> Open DS, Dr. Macura

> 4/23/01 400 lbs, BMI 63

> 5/1/01 391 lbs, BMI 61

> 5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

> 6/21/01 350 lbs, BMI 55

> 7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

> 5/22/01 368 lbs, BMI 58

> 6/21/01 360 lbs, BMI 55

> 7/31/01 328 lbs, BMI 51

> 8/23/01 320 lbs, BMI 50

> 9/25/01 306 lbs. BMI 48

> 10/21/01 295 lbs. BMI 46

[Guest guest]

Hi again . Not sure if there is much I can say that will

assuage your fears at this point, but I'll try.

First of all, your fear is normal. If you weren't a healthy bit

anxious about what's going to happen, I'd be worried that you didn't

comprehend the serious nature of it and its ramifications. But

remember too, that knowledge eliminates fear, and the more you know

about the surgery (including the % #'s of complications, mortalities

etc.,), the better you will feel. Or should. From what I can tell,

you've certainly done your homework up until this point, so trust in

your intellect, common sense and instincts that have guided you this

far.

As I think I've told you before, I'm not much of a religious person,

but am, what I consider, a spiritual one. I think the notion that God

was guiding my way through this journey all along, soothed my soul

and anxieties. I figured, if it was meant to happen, it would(and

did). And that whether the outcome was good or bad(and I always knew

it would be good, though I too had the same normal feelings you're

having now), it was all part of a lesson I'm here to learn.

I also knew, deep down, that though I was a pretty happy, well-

rounded, social, and popular person before surgery, and led a life

that was full by most standards, that somehow, I had put my life on

hold. And deserved more. I knew that I was not living the life that I

could or should, and that this surgery would open the door that would

lead me to the path to be that person, and have that life.

I know you're scared, but you owe it to yourself to have this

surgery. You're lucky enough to have gotten to this point in the

journey, so please don't turn back now. You'd be doing yourself AND

your family a disservice. Afterall, I think you'll be a happier and

healthier person post-op and thus a better mom, wife, and friend to

those important to you in your life.

Sorry if I rambled with a lot of corny jibberish. Just wanted to help

you feel better about it all!

So girl, have faith, 'cause everything's gonna be all right(in the

words of Bob Marley!). Good luck. You know I'll be thinking about you

and wishing you well on Tuesday!

D.

11/6/01 with Dr. Ren

> Yes, I've taken to giving all of my postings some kind of dramatic

> and capitalized subject heading. Suits my mood lately.

>

> OK--it's settling in. I'm starting to become really scared about

> surgery on Tuesday. Driving home from dinner tonight (yes,

fettucine

> alfredo in a trough with a large Coke--no surprise there!) I was

> noticing the beautiful scenery in Virginia and thinking that I

might

> not see it ever again after I die on the operating table next

week.

> THEN I started thinking about my husband and two little girls--not

> about how much I would miss them, but how much THEY would miss and

> need ME. The girls would be so sad and my already-somewhat-

reluctant-

> but-nevertheless-supportive-and-loving husband would be so full of

> regrets and guilty feelings about not talking me out of the

surgery.

> (Like that ever would work!)

>

> I talk to myself rationally when this happens: Gagner's mortality

> rate for those with a BMI under 60 is zero; my BMI is only 46; I am

> only 31 years old and healthy as ever in terms of being able to

walk

> long distances quickly and exercise strenuously; I am a great

> candidate for surgery, etc., etc. And I pray, but maybe not as

much

> as I should. Neither one of these things, however, keep the death

> thoughts at bay for very long.

>

> Other than taking large doses of Xanax with a margarita chaser

(don't

> ya love girl drinks?), does anyone have any ideas about how to make

> these worries go away for a longer amount of time? I need some

> mental peace!

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

,

You're so sweet! What you've said is NOT corny or gibberish! Thank

you so much for comforting me. Besides, what can go wrong on your

birthday. And, hey--I love Bob Marley! He used to get me through

many a bad trip! Maybe I'll hunt down a CD or two before I go!

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing well!

All my best to you and yours,

> > Yes, I've taken to giving all of my postings some kind of

dramatic

> > and capitalized subject heading. Suits my mood lately.

> >

> > OK--it's settling in. I'm starting to become really scared about

> > surgery on Tuesday. Driving home from dinner tonight (yes,

> fettucine

> > alfredo in a trough with a large Coke--no surprise there!) I was

> > noticing the beautiful scenery in Virginia and thinking that I

> might

> > not see it ever again after I die on the operating table next

> week.

> > THEN I started thinking about my husband and two little girls--

not

> > about how much I would miss them, but how much THEY would miss

and

> > need ME. The girls would be so sad and my already-somewhat-

> reluctant-

> > but-nevertheless-supportive-and-loving husband would be so full

of

> > regrets and guilty feelings about not talking me out of the

> surgery.

> > (Like that ever would work!)

> >

> > I talk to myself rationally when this happens: Gagner's

mortality

> > rate for those with a BMI under 60 is zero; my BMI is only 46; I

am

> > only 31 years old and healthy as ever in terms of being able to

> walk

> > long distances quickly and exercise strenuously; I am a great

> > candidate for surgery, etc., etc. And I pray, but maybe not as

> much

> > as I should. Neither one of these things, however, keep the

death

> > thoughts at bay for very long.

> >

> > Other than taking large doses of Xanax with a margarita chaser

> (don't

> > ya love girl drinks?), does anyone have any ideas about how to

make

> > these worries go away for a longer amount of time? I need some

> > mental peace!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >