Re: Our concern for a suitable program for -

[Guest guest]

> Evidently, one cannot put such information on the internet--from

one's own point of view--without it being misinterpreted and turned

into something that it wasn't--an insult to people attempting to help.

This happens to me all the time. I think I am helping someone and

sometimes all I get are flames. I cannot understand it either.

>

> Again, we apologize, I apologize and will withdraw from posting to

groups and writing friends concerning our problems. Thanks ever so

much.

I hope you don't stop posting to groups just because some people are

offended by what you write. If I did that, I would never post a

message anywhere, and I get between 20-50 individual emails per day

asking for advice or thanking me for advice, so I help some people,

even if I offend others. I do my best, and those who don't like my

style can just scroll by my messages. I will post my answer to you

here to the group, because sometimes I send emails to the addys here

and they don't get to the intended person.

~~~~~

>>As background,, functions on a fifteen month to two year old

level. His

present program is very rigid in that there is silence in the room for

the most

part and children are not verbally/vocally motivated or encouraged.

The only

accomplishment by the teacher thus far (in 3 years) has been to teach

to

hand back an empty plate for a refill. will age out of this

teacher's

room by Sept. 2002, and we have no idea where to put him next.

This classroom situation does not sound appropriate for a 2yo level

child. No encouragement for language? In a way, probably better that

he will age out. But you are right, that is unsettling also.

>>How we wish we

felt qualified to home school him and/or find someone who is qualified

to come

in and spend one-on-one time with him which we feel would be the most

effective

route and way to teach him.

Here is my homeschool section

http://home.pacbell.net/cscomp/parentin.htm#homeschool

I don't know your child's specific issues, but if you send me an

email, I can give you advice and sites where you can go for

information. My email address is here on this message or on my site.

http://home.pacbell.net/cscomp/dmain.htm

> and

at what point do parents and physicians, professionals and the like,

decide

that no progress can be made?

Some people give up on a child. As a parent YOU can accept your child

and his abilities and decide to just stop and enjoy who he is,

which is not necessarily " giving up on him " . But a school or other

" professional " , is not allowed under IDEA to determine that for YOUR

child. They are required to provide an appropriate education until he

ages out of the system, and in some circumstances beyond that.

>>Unfortunately, we have found that programs and/or services for such

children

remain 'top secret' unless we are referred by some compassionate

and/or

informed individual who has either had experience in this area or has

become of

aware of a potentially suitable program.

Yes, generally you have to find what you think would work, and then

fight your school system to use it with your child.

>>Perhaps all of this sounds like we're letting off steam, but trust

us when we

say, although we're tired,, we've been patient and continue to try to

keep our

son in school program all to no avail only to have him repeatedly

sent home

because they feel he's potentially ill and/or 'off' and they choose

not to try

to cope. There are times of course, when he is sent home to an

already

stressed situation because of exhaustion of parents from being up

nights and

dealing with his 'bizarre' and 'unruly' behaviors, 24-7. Of course,

there are

times when he is genuinely ill as well.

If the school is sending your child home repeatedly, you can use that

to insist that an appropriate education must be home-based, that the

school must provide and pay for a home-based individual instruction.

I have ideas for that if you would like to send me an email.

Otherwise, sending your child home repeatedly because he is " off " is a

denial of FAPE, and provided your son is not actually ill, you can

refuse to have him come home. Depending on the school situation, this

may make matters worse, but you would know that better than I would.

But this situation sounds like a basic denial of FAPE, and if you

believe 1/1 setting at home would be better, I would definitely

consider forcing the school to provide a home-based education for him.

>>To sum it up, we feel that there has to be a program available--in

and or near

the Elmira, NY area which would be more suited to our son's needs and

if

not--would someone please tell us that too? Do we just put him on a

shelf and

say--don't bother--he's retarded and will never be a viable citizen or

what?

I know someone in NY but I am not sure exactly where. He is guardian

for his severely autistic sister who is an adult now, so he has " been

there and done that " . I think he can give you some good ideas. You

can send me an email and I will forward it to him if you want.

You can always send me an email any time, I will help you the best I

can, and I won't care if you want to ask for other opinions on a

public message board even if I am already helping you. The more

information you get, the better decision you can make for your child.

Why anyone would think they know more than anyone else, when it is

not their child but yours, and why they would feel upset that you want

to ask a lot of people, is beyond me. I guess there is a social

reason for it that is also beyond me. But I am socially clueless, so

those sorts of things do not affect me. If you would like to send me

an email, please do.

I hope that helped. Good luck to you.

Dana