An open letter about Shallow Hal

[Guest guest]

This is from my wife, Sidney, about the movie Shallow Hal. If you wish to

use it, modify it, or whatever, feel free. She wrote this to her friends and

family, but I felt like it had a place on this list.

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Hello, dear friends and family,

I'm about to do something that I don't much approve of myself. I'm about to

ask you to boycott a movie, and the reasons are very personal. The movie is

" Shallow Hal. " It's supposedly about how inner beauty is more important

that surface appearance, and it stars Gwyneth Paltrow. The main character,

a singularly unattractive and obnoxious man, gets hypnotized by Tony

Robbins, and from that point on all he can see is a person's inner beauty.

He falls in love with a woman whom he sees as beautiful, although the rest

of the world sees her as hideous.

The reason this woman is supposed to be hideous is that she's fat.

If the ads are any indication, then the entire humor of this supposedly

funny movie is built on how fat she is, how big her clothes are, how big a

splash she makes when she jumps into a pool.

My first point is that people don't get ugly because they get fat. Fat is

not, by definition or default, ugly. Marilyn Monroe in " Some Like It Hot "

was gorgeous, and people paid to see her because she was cute and funny and

beautiful. By today's standards, and certainly by comparison with Gwyneth

Paltrow, Marilyn was fat in that movie. In one scene you could see that she

had what I call a " foldie " -- a fold of skin due to fat. There are lots of

beautiful fat people. The primary reason that people are ugly is that they

don't take care of themselves, don't pay attention to their grooming, frown

all the time, or simply don't stand up straight, and that applies to the

scrawny as well as to the fat. Fat doesn't make you ugly, and its absence

doesn't make you attractive.

Fat people are the last group that it's socially acceptable to persecute in

this country. It's disgusting -- it's like the days when it was acceptable

to make racial cruelty jokes or Polish jokes. Now people make fat cruelty

jokes, and it hurts. Every one of us knows and loves somebody who doesn't

fit the current standard of acceptable body fat, somebody who could be

classified as obese. It might be a friend, a sibling, a parent, a favorite

teacher, somebody in the entertainment industry -- since you got this letter

from me, hello, it might be me.

" Shallow Hal " is a fat joke, and it hurts me. If you care about me, if you

have ever cared about me, don't go, and tell everybody you care about to

stay away, too. I want to hurt the people who made the movie where it hurts

movie makers most, in their wallets. Don't give them your money. Go to see

any other movie that's out, but don't go to this one. Tell Hollywood that

fat jokes are not funny, that they hurt people. Do it because it hurts

thousands of people whose only crime is that they don't fit the current

fashion for skin-and-bones beauty. Do it because it hurts me.

I had an operation this summer to help me stop gaining weight. It's

working. As of this week I have lost 44 lbs. Based on my lean body mass as

calculated with calipers and a computer, I am no longer obese, and I'm still

losing. I refuse, however, to stand on the other side of the weight

continuum and make jokes about my brothers and sisters who are still

struggling with their weight, who have to face not only their health

problems but also the scorn of society on a daily basis.

From society's reaction to fat people, anyone would think that people

actually choose to be fat. Trust me, in modern America, this is not the

case. The diet and exercise industries suck up millions of dollars from

desperate, frustrated people every year, and still we are fat. The truth is

that we don't really know what makes people fat or skinny. It's partly

genetic, but there are other variables in the equation, and we don't know

what they are. Taking in fewer calories than you expend is not the answer.

If it were, there would be no fat people, because we have all tried this.

Dr. Atkins doesn't have the answer, nor does Craig. The one truth I'm

sure of is that it is extremely hard for overweight people to do anything at

all about it, and what little they are able to do is frequently all too

temporary.

Fat people are tortured enough. It's time to stop torturing them further.

If this doesn't feel like a real issue to you, maybe it's because you can't

put a personal face on it. Maybe it's not your problem. That's fine, I

have a solution: put my face on it.

From now on, every time you make a fat joke, remember me, and understand

that you are hurting me when you do it. When you allow someone to make a

fat joke in your presence, put my face on the focus of the joke, and

understand that it's directed at me. When you watch a television show like

Mad TV or the Tonight Show or a movie like " Shallow Hal " where the joke is

built around how fat someone is, remember that it's about me, and about

every other fat person you know, and it's like a knife in our hearts – in my

heart. Don't say, " No, no, it's not about you, you're thin now, " because

I'm the same person I was when I was fat, and I remember the cruelties I

suffered when I was fat.

I wonder if the desire to find somebody to persecute is rooted in insecurity

and low feelings of self-worth. Maybe it's comforting to point to someone

else and say, I must not be so bad, because I'm better than that person.

It's not socially acceptable to do that anymore to women, to people in other

races, or to people of other national origins or religions. The world must

have its fix of persecuting someone, so it has turned on fat people.

Let's stop doing this, and let's stop other people from doing it. The first

step is extremely easy -- just don't go to " Shallow Hal. "

Thank you.

Sidney

[Guest guest]

i have seen this movie. its not that bad. I felt that it spoke a

lot of truth about beuaty on the inside. THe actress that played the

heavier set Gwyneth had an interview on EXTRA last week and said

exactly that. it just goes to show that we do have hearts....we do

have feelings...and you know what./....beauty....is beauty. You

can't have WLS to be beautiful or pretty...thank your parents for the

genes they gave you at birth if you are pretty. Its not soemthing

you can get from WLS. and this movie showed how beautiful gweneth

was at 300 or 100.

> a few ladies in my support group saw the movie and said it really

wasnt bad.

> They said they did exagerate somethings for humor such as the

pool...but

> noone said they felt it was a joke on fat people or a slam on us.

I felt the

> same way after seeing the previews...but i figure if others that

are

> overweight saw it and weren't offended, I'd at least give it a shot.

>

> ~*~ AJ ~*~

> Age 37 5'8'' Post op 7/24/01 Open DS

> self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain

> 07/24/01 BMI 64 415.1

> 08/24/01 BMI 58 386.5 -28.6 lbs!

> 09/24/01 BMI 55.8 367.1 -48.0 lbs! -37.75 inches

> 10/24/01 BMI 52.6 346.0 -69.1 lbs!

> 11/14/01 BMI 50.8 334.0 -81.1lbs! -66 inches

> My profile:

> http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=E982002956

> My websites:

> www.wls4aj.homestead.com

> www.wlsbellingham.homestead.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I did see Shallow Hal. It wasn't as funny as

some of the other Farrelly Brothers movies - the gags

were more spaced out - but I did like it.

There were only about 50 people in the theater and I

would say about 1/3 were overweight. In fact, a few

looked bigger than me and I'm pretty big!

I don't regret seeing it. In fact, I learned

something. I don't know if I'm going to word this

correctly so be warned but I have a hard time seeing

past the fat when I look in the mirror. I couldn't

imagine myself with a thinner face. But when I saw

Gwynneth (sp?) skinny and then with the fatter face, I

could mentally " carve " around the fat to see her thin

face. And now, when I look in the mirror, I can do

the same thing with me.

I believe people have the right to boycott what they

are against but I also have the right not to boycott.

So please don't flame! LOL

dee

--- KathieSL@... wrote:

> FWIW, I happen to love Farrely Brothers movies.

> What DON'T they make fun of?

> Everything about their movies is offensive. I

> can't wait to see this movie.

> I don't think I'll be doing it in the company of a

> theater full of

> strangers, but watching it on my TV at home will

> suffice.

>

> The premise sounds hilarious, and I don't doubt that

> the fat jokes are way

> over the top. These movies should NEVER be taken

> seriously I have no

> problem laughing at myself (at times, lol.)

>

> Kathie

>

>

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>

[Guest guest]

Ford, I really liked what your wife had to say and I forwarded it to

my whole address book. Tell you wife I said thanks for writing it

and that it was well written. Hugs,