Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 No on ever believes that I have a chronic illness either, like many people with CF, our illness is inside. And that is a blessing. Make it work for him in the future. But don't let it fool you into listening to friends and family about how you should treat him. He's still a sick little boy, and CF is like the devil on his body. I am so flattered by your words. It makes me so happy to know that someone is listening, since right now I know that I am right about certain things. What I am living through now cannot be denied or questioned, and I have learned from it like you would not believe. There are some things that I know now for sure, that I did not know a month ago, and all of a sudden my life has changed and I can truly say that I understand CF. I know what it is that I have inside me. I also know what it takes to stay afloat. And it's more WW2 than Iraq, meaning it's harder, larger and faster with more damage than I could have ever thought. It grabs hold without easily recognizable signs (though there are sides that we need to learn, like we learned to recognize hatred in men like Hitler) and that the battle and the aftermath are on in the same. I still cannot believe that this happened to me. That it was me that could not breathe a few days ago, that my mom and dad had to watch their 24 year old daughter suffocate. This disease does not care about me, it needs to survive in my lungs and body like I need it not to be there. So we fight. Right now I am winning, and no matter what the outcome is for the next couple of years, I have won by admitting to myself that it could happen to me, and that it did, and that that does not make me less of a whole person, it just makes me human. God made sure that I learned that this time, that my suffering is not mine alone. I'm going to go back to some sleeping. I feel good, but woke up to feel stuff out. I am still a little scared to sleep. The last time that I could not breathe was while sleeping. I woke up being drained of breath. But I am getting my confidence back - confidence that my body will not fail me. Thanks for writing, Keep in touch and ask me anything you want about this. The truth is that I am pretty interested in sharing the past few months with everyone, slowly. They have been defining when it comes to how I understand and treat CF. It gives me tremendous satisfaction that someone is reading what I write - though these area just my thoughts and opinions, I know that they are worth something. Keep me updated on little Jack. I am sure that he's a looker, have you ever seen an ugly CF kid. No way. God takes care of our beauty from the inside out. Natalia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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