Re: Underactive Thyroid to Heidi

[Guest guest]

Dear Heidi,

I'm so sorry to hear that you had to endure all of that...are you on

insulin now? You know, I wish to hell that these doctors would

educate themselves more in the area of the pancreas....it's just so

frustrating. Just a month ago, I went to see my primary doctor, who

agreed to prescribe my pain patch so I wouldn't have to drive so far

to see my pain doc. Anyway, when I got to his office, he told me

that he would not prescribe anymore narcotics for me, and that was

that. He said to me in front of his whole staff, and the waiting

room, that he thought I had a drug problem. I got so embarassed and

furious, that I told him he was a fucking asshole, and that he should

be the one to suffer from CP, so that maybe he would know what it

felt like to be in so much pain. I grabbed my husband and stormed

out. So I wound up going to my pain doctor anyway, who always takes

good care of me.

It's been a very depressing, but yet a kind of a good year for me. I

don't even know where to start. I had been on a very heavy dose of

dilaudid for a year, plus the duragesic patch and it just blew my

mind away. I had been acting very strange. One day my neighbor found

me walking around my complex, and I didn't know who she was or where

I was at. She brought me to her house and called my husband at work.

Then, back in April, I was hospitalized for 2 weeks because I slit my

arm 3 inches down with a razor blade from the pain and depression. I

just didn't want to live anymore. This had been my second attempt of

suicide. I was hospitalized again for depression in October for

seven days because they thought I was going to hurt myself. At the

same time, I had a really back attack of pancreatitis, so the docs

(that didn't even know me) did a cat scan and an MRCP, and they said

my pancreas was normal?! I just don't understand why they administer

these tests when they don't show anything. The only test in my

opinion that is effective is the ERCP. That's the only test that

tells the truth.

On a lighter note, Chuck and I sold the condo and bought a cute

little house up in the mountains on a lake...it's truly peaceful and

beautiful here. We moved in June, and I really haven't been able to

enjoy it because I've been so sick, both emotionally and physically.

As far as my rescue efforts go, I have had to stop taking care of

kittens because of the illness. At least I have my 7 cats, 2 dogs

and 2 parakeets to take care of. They are all comforting and

compassionate to me...they really take care of me when I'm ill, and

believe me, they know when I am. I really miss my rescue, but what

can I do? If I can't take care of myself, how can I take care of

them?

Anyway, that's just a brief synopsis of what's been going on. I'm

glad to be back with the group, and I just hope that maybe I can help

someone else.

Love and peace,

/NJ

>

> Dear ,

>

> A lot has happened to me since we last had communications

together!