Re: Kids in Church/ too funny!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Some humor from Dan today. Think we could all use some.

hugs

claudia

<<

> 1. A little boy was in a relative's Wedding. As he was coming

down the

>aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd.

While

>facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and

roar. So it

>went -

>step, step, ROAR; step, step, ROAR; all the way down the

>aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from

laughing so

>hard by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was

doing,

>the child sniffed and said, " I was being the Ring Bear. "

>

>2. One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was " acting

>up " during the morning worship hour. The parents did their

best to

>maintain some sense of order in the pew, but were losing the

battle.

>Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked

sternly up

>the aisle. On his way out just before reaching the safety of

the foyer,

>the little one called loudly to the congregation, " Pray for

me!....Pray

>for me! "

>

>3. One particular four-year-old prayed, " And forgive us our

>trash baskets, as we forgive those who put trash in our

baskets. "

>

>4. A little boy was overhead praying: " Lord, if you can't

>make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real

good time

>like I am. "

>

>5. A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as

>they were on theirway to church service, " And why is it

necessary to be

>quiet in church? "

>

>One bright little girl replied, " Because people are

>sleeping. "

>

>6. The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and

>as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking

the mic

>cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up

in the cord

>and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several

circles and

>jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother

and

>whispered, " If he gets loose, will he hu rt us? "

>

>7. Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother

>were sitting together in church. giggled, sang, and

talked out

>loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. " You're not

supposed to

>talk out loud in church. " " Why? Who's going to stop me? "

asked.

>Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, " See those

two men

>standing by the door?

>They're hushers. "

>

>8. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, " Grandma,

>do you know how you and God are alike? " I mentally polished my

halo

>while I asked, " No, how are we alike? " " You're both old. " he

replied.

>

>9. A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother,

>was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then, one

day, she

>floored her grandmother by asking, " Which Virgin was the

mother of

>Jesus? The Virgin or the King Virgin? "

>

>10. I had been teaching my three-year-old daught er, Caitlin,

>The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would

repeat

>after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go

solo. I

>listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,

right up to

>the end of the prayer " Lead us not into temptation, " she

prayed, " but

>deliver us some E-mail. Amen. "

>

>11. A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, , 5,

>and , 3.

>The boys began to argue over who would get the first

>pancake. Their mother

>saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. " If Jesus were sitting

here, He

>would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can

wait.' "

>turned to his younger brother and said, " , you be Jesus. "

>

>12. A Sunday School class was studying the Ten Commandments.

>They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if

anyone

>could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall,

and

>quot ed, " Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's

wife. "

>

>

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