Re: Suzy - weddings

[Guest guest]

Suzy,

thanks for your post. Glad to help a little with suggestions for your 'mother

of the groom' dress. I'm sure you'll find something nice for a reasonable price

if you take the time to look around. Is your son's wedding a day or evening

wedding? Does his fiance want the mothers wearing floor length dresses or

perhaps just tea length? If the wedding is during the day, the bride may prefer

that the mothers' dresses not be quite as formal as they would be for a formal

evening wedding.

All the wedding books (and our wedding coordinator) told us that as the mother

of the bride, I was to decide what style of dress I was going to wear and the

mother of the groom and Nikki's stepmother were to follow suit. The 'mothers'

dresses don't have to be identical or the same color. However, they should be

similar in style and length. Also, the colors should compliment the colors the

bride is using in the wedding.

You may already know all of this, but I knew nothing about the 'wedding rules'

prior to helping Nikki plan her wedding. Also, 'wedding rules' are made to be

broken based on what the bride and groom want for their wedding! My daughter

was VERY into having a fairy tale wedding that followed the majority of the

'wedding rules'. If you are very lucky, your son's fiance may be more like my

stepdaughter. She says that she's perfectly fine with the mothers wearing

whatever they want.

With stepparents, things can sometimes get complicated. However, my husband,

Bud, and I currently have an absolutely wonderful relationship with Nikki's

father/my ex and his wife. Nikki wanted her stepmother to also be treated as a

mother of the bride. Thankfully I am secure enough in my relationship to Nikki

that I had absolutely no problem with that. Nikki's stepmother initially told

Nikki and I that she wasn't Nikki's real mother so she didn't have to be dressed

as a 'mother'. I thought that was sweet of her to let me know that she didn't

consider her status in Nikki's life to be equal to mine. I told her that she

had endured Nikki's teenage years and that she had absolutely earned the right

to be considered Nikki's 'other mother'! It was so nice to be able to say that

and to mean it from the bottom of my heart. The mother of the bride is always

the very last person seated at a wedding. The way we did it was that 's

mom (mother of the groom) was seated, then Nikki's stepmom was seated, and then

I was seated. All four of Nikki's parents were seated on the front row. I am

so thankful we had long since worked through all of our resentments for each

other and have come to the point that none of us feel threatened and we know

that we all have a bond because we all love Nikki tremendously. Nikki's father

walked her down the aisle. When they got to the end of the aisle, just short of

where was, Nikki and her dad stopped. My husband, Bud/Nikki's stepdad,

then got up from his seat on the front pew, walked to Nikki's side. The

preacher asked, " Who gives this woman in marriage? " Nikki's dad was on one

side, Bud was on the other. They lifted her veil together and said, " We do. "

They then each gave her kiss on her cheek and sat down. It was so beautiful.

Nikki did ask her father if he would be okay with her including Bud in the

ceremony because she would never want to hurt her father. He assured her that

he was fine with that because he knew that Bud has been very important in

Nikki's life. Nikki's dad and I divorced when she was 6 and Bud and I married

when she was 8.

Sorry to get off on another tangent. Thinking about weddings just makes me

think about what a special time that was for my daughter, her husband, and all

of us who love them so very much.

W