Heidi, Bob, Chrissy and others - I think I am going to cry

[Guest guest]

I think I am going to cry. A big thank you for all of your help. I

can come here and people relate to how I am feeling. Sometimes, I

feel like I am losing my mind. It feels so good to get it out and

not be afraid to say to someone that I am scared, confused and

frustrated. I don't have enough energy to get angry.

I don't fit the textbook for symptoms. Never have. I tell the docs

that they need to list to me/us because we are the data. The

doctors are puzzled. They have scheduled me for a CAT scan for

Monday morning. I called a therapist to talk through my

frustrations.

This episode has been going on since 10/14. I am run down and feel

restless. I haven't eaten much in the way of solids since that

time. My enzyme levels have been normal, so it seems that they

don't get too excited and say that it is not serious because they

are not elevated. I was tested this week and they are still

normal. I was rehydrated twice last week and felt wonderful

afterwards, but as soon as I eat something solid it starts all over

again. The pain starts in the upper middle area, bores through the

back and has been burning through the left breast and shoulder

blade. Does this also sound familiar?

I am use to having constant CP pain most days of the week, but it

usually gives me a break of some days in between the flare ups.

This is the longest it has ever gone on.

They have me on blood pressure medicine to try to control the BP.

They are concerned about how it is spiking. It has been 199/90. I

think I must have said I don't normally have high BP. I keep

telling them that it is the pancreatitis. This happened before I

was diagnosed with CP and before having the sphincterotomy.

It seems to me that you are bound to feel lousy, if you only have

saltines and chicken broth here and there. You know, I always

thought it was so easy just to drink but it seems that it is harder

than I thought when it is happening to you. And never in a

thousand years, did I ever think I would be forced to eat.

I have lost 70lbs since first diagnosed almost 2 years ago. That is

the only good thing about this horrible disease. Now, I am very

close to what I should weigh and can't afford to lose much more.

They have mentioned a pseudocyst and dilated bowel loops. I would

like it very much if you could pray that they find something so at

least we would know what we are dealing with.

Thank you for listening,

Pat