Guest guest Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 > > If , Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other , Suzanne, Debra and Rose. > > If Mike, Charlie, Bob and go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. > > EATING OUT > > When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. > > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > > MONEY > > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. > > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. > > BATHROOMS > > A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. > > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. > > ARGUMENTS > > A woman has the last word in any argument. > > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > CATS > > Women love cats. > > Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. > > FUTURE > > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > SUCCESS > > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. > > A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > > MARRIAGE > > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. > > DRESSING UP > > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. > > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > NATURAL > > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. > > Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > OFFSPRING > > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. > > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY > > Any married man should forget his mistakes. > > There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. > > > > Internet access plans that fit your lifestyle -- join MSN. Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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