Re: Daddy doesn't like the band

[Guest guest]

Well, my initial reactions are a little harsh and probably unproductive. Who's

actually the baby here? Seems like your kid would probably much better off in

daycare than spending so much time with a dad who puts himself first. You need

to stand up to him for the sake of your child and put your baby's health ahead

of your desire to sleep. Yeah, not helpful, I'm sure. It's just so frustrating

to read this. I'm so uncomfortable with how disrespectful he is being towards

you just because he is afraid of the opinions of strangers. He should be willing

to stand up to anything and anyone for the best interest of his wife and child.

Some better ideas might include taking a deep breath and telling the orthotist

and your pediatrician and any other professional who might help explain to your

husband what the dangers of not correcting plagio are and how it has to be used

to work well. 10mm is a seriously visible flat spot. It will not get better on

its own and will most likely look worse as the baby gets older, holds his head

up better, and loses the baby fat. I say this from experience. I don't know why

your husband isn't willing to accept the facts from you, but he needs to hear

them from someone he respects. Maybe tell him to read these forums so he can see

what others' experience has been.

Ultimately, you are his wife and this child's parent too. You need to negotiate

with him and require him to respect you as such. Maybe if the orthotist is

saying he needs it for 4 months you tell your husband he needs to agree to your

son using it properly for the next 4 weeks. He needs to grow a pair and...Sorry,

got too harsh again. Ask that he try to just hold his own head up high, go out

with his boy, and see how it actually is to have him in the helmet for the next

month. Like all of us he will probably be surprised at how it's no big deal.

Hopefully you'll start to see improvement and he'll want to see more and agree

to keep it on.

I do understand his reaction, but it's one we all had to put aside and most

found it easier to do than we expected. People really aren't that harsh toward a

baby in a helmet. They are shockingly nice and not judgmental. Actually family

are usually much worse than strangers and I think this comes out of fear. It's

time to be the grown up and put that fear away. You are clearly 2 strong adults

who are already willing to work a hard schedule to take care of your family. You

are both up to this task.

Good luck and keep us posted,

ED

>

> Alright Guys, I've been following you for 3 months now and I've run into my

1st dilemma. Trevor is 5 months old now, got his Hanger band 1 week ago and

pretty much, Daddy just does not like it. He was all for it at our initial

appts, but now that he has it, DH says " his head really isn't that bad. " And I

agree, at some angles it looks " not so bad " , then at other angles it looks

terrible. He has probably been in the band for a total of 6 hours in the past

week. Granted, we did go to Busch Gardens for 3 days(for the older kids) and it

was very hot. He was OK with him wearing it on the 4 hour trip though, but as

soon as we would stop to eat, he would take it off before we got out of the car.

I think he is embarrassed of it. I am a nurse and work 12 hour night shifts

over the weekend so I take care of Trevor Mon thru Fri, then Daddy takes over

Fri afternoon and does baby duty until Mon morning. (we do this to avoid

daycares.) As soon as I lay down to take a nap (before coming in for the night

shift) or in the mornings when I come in and put the band on, then go to bed,

within 5 minutes of lying down, I can hear the infamous sound of the rip of the

velcro. I don't even bother to get up and argue about it. At that point of

being awake for sometimes 28-30 hours I'm too tired to deal with it. I don't

understand why he won't accept it. I try over and over to explain the benefits

of the band now. He is not in the medical field, so I have done all the

research and pretty much all of the decisions. I guess my question is, if he

only wears it part-time while I am doing baby duty, will he pretty much still

get alot of benefit from it? Or am I just wasting my time? I'm too embarrassed

to even tell the orthotist this. sorry I was so winded. I just needed to get

this off my mind. By the way, Trevor has a 10mm plagio on the right side.

Thanks guys,

>

> P.S. I even decorated it in the Disney Cars theme since Daddy likes cars

so much, and it was initially blue from Hanger so it is cute-not the medical

white. The back has Mater (Tow Mater) on it with the words " just fixin' my

flat. " When Daddy came home from work and saw it all he had to say was " your

words aren't centered. " I guess that was a clue, huh?

>

[Guest guest]

He has probably been in the band for a total of 6 hours in the past week.There is no point in wearing the band if it is only worn for this amount of time. Actually, it could end up making his head worse, due to his rapid growth at 5 months old. My son wore a DOC Band, and I believe that Cranial Tech will actually confiscate the band if not worn as directed. This is because the band can further deform the head or cause skin breakdown issues.>> Alright Guys, I've been following you for 3 months now and I've run into my 1st dilemma. Trevor is 5 months old now, got his Hanger band 1 week ago and pretty much, Daddy just does not like it. He was all for it at our initial appts, but now that he has it, DH says "his head really isn't that bad." And I agree, at some angles it looks "not so bad", then at other angles it looks terrible. He has probably been in the band for a total of 6 hours in the past week. Granted, we did go to Busch Gardens for 3 days(for the older kids) and it was very hot. He was OK with him wearing it on the 4 hour trip though, but as soon as we would stop to eat, he would take it off before we got out of the car. I think he is embarrassed of it. I am a nurse and work 12 hour night shifts over the weekend so I take care of Trevor Mon thru Fri, then Daddy takes over Fri afternoon and does baby duty until Mon morning. (we do this to avoid daycares.) As soon as I lay down to take a nap (before coming in for the night shift) or in the mornings when I come in and put the band on, then go to bed, within 5 minutes of lying down, I can hear the infamous sound of the rip of the velcro. I don't even bother to get up and argue about it. At that point of being awake for sometimes 28-30 hours I'm too tired to deal with it. I don't understand why he won't accept it. I try over and over to explain the benefits of the band now. He is not in the medical field, so I have done all the research and pretty much all of the decisions. I guess my question is, if he only wears it part-time while I am doing baby duty, will he pretty much still get alot of benefit from it? Or am I just wasting my time? I'm too embarrassed to even tell the orthotist this. sorry I was so winded. I just needed to get this off my mind. By the way, Trevor has a 10mm plagio on the right side. Thanks guys, > > P.S. I even decorated it in the Disney Cars theme since Daddy likes cars so much, and it was initially blue from Hanger so it is cute-not the medical white. The back has Mater (Tow Mater) on it with the words "just fixin' my flat." When Daddy came home from work and saw it all he had to say was "your words aren't centered." I guess that was a clue, huh?>

[Guest guest]

Everyone else seems to have said what needs to be said. I just want to make sure

you're clear on the fact that you need to go and get the helmet fit

checked/adjusted immediately. Like, today would be good. The helmet must start

being worn within a certain time limit for a good reason, and you are past that

limit.

I'm sorry your husband is being so difficult. It's time to be difficult back. Of

course many people are uncomfortable with the idea of a helmet at first, but

that doesn't make his actions okay. You, as an adult, have the option of

choosing to put up with his inappropriate behavior, but I think it's wrong to

subject your baby to it also. Trevor can't speak up for or protect himself, so

you have to be his advocate.

Where does this idea of not giving your son proper treatment because it looks

odd end? Will glasses be allowed? Braces? A cast if he breaks his leg? You

deserve to be supported by your husband in this difficult time, and I hope you

tell him so. Good luck!

>

> He has probably been in the band for a total of 6 hours in the past

> week.

>

> There is no point in wearing the band if it is only worn for this amount

> of time. Actually, it could end up making his head worse, due to his

> rapid growth at 5 months old. My son wore a DOC Band, and I believe

> that Cranial Tech will actually confiscate the band if not worn as

> directed. This is because the band can further deform the head or cause

> skin breakdown issues.

>

>

>

> >

> > Alright Guys, I've been following you for 3 months now and I've run

> into my 1st dilemma. Trevor is 5 months old now, got his Hanger band 1

> week ago and pretty much, Daddy just does not like it. He was all for

> it at our initial appts, but now that he has it, DH says " his head

> really isn't that bad. " And I agree, at some angles it looks " not so

> bad " , then at other angles it looks terrible. He has probably been in

> the band for a total of 6 hours in the past week. Granted, we did go to

> Busch Gardens for 3 days(for the older kids) and it was very hot. He was

> OK with him wearing it on the 4 hour trip though, but as soon as we

> would stop to eat, he would take it off before we got out of the car. I

> think he is embarrassed of it. I am a nurse and work 12 hour night

> shifts over the weekend so I take care of Trevor Mon thru Fri, then

> Daddy takes over Fri afternoon and does baby duty until Mon morning. (we

> do this to avoid daycares.) As soon as I lay down to take a nap (before

> coming in for the night shift) or in the mornings when I come in and put

> the band on, then go to bed, within 5 minutes of lying down, I can hear

> the infamous sound of the rip of the velcro. I don't even bother to get

> up and argue about it. At that point of being awake for sometimes 28-30

> hours I'm too tired to deal with it. I don't understand why he won't

> accept it. I try over and over to explain the benefits of the band now.

> He is not in the medical field, so I have done all the research and

> pretty much all of the decisions. I guess my question is, if he only

> wears it part-time while I am doing baby duty, will he pretty much still

> get alot of benefit from it? Or am I just wasting my time? I'm too

> embarrassed to even tell the orthotist this. sorry I was so winded. I

> just needed to get this off my mind. By the way, Trevor has a 10mm

> plagio on the right side. Thanks guys,

> >

> > P.S. I even decorated it in the Disney Cars theme since Daddy

> likes cars so much, and it was initially blue from Hanger so it is

> cute-not the medical white. The back has Mater (Tow Mater) on it with

> the words " just fixin' my flat. " When Daddy came home from work and saw

> it all he had to say was " your words aren't centered. " I guess that was

> a clue, huh?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You are at a very critical stage in your treatment with Trevor. At our facility we see our greatest changes in the first 4 weeks of fulltime use with the helmet so you will want to capture as much correction as possible in this early time frame.

Somehow you have to get your husband to see that this period of helmet use is a very short episode in Trevor's development and trust me; there are other things coming along that will make this seem like a cake walk!

Some of the most common scenarios I hear from parents when assessing their child for a helmet: "How many hours a day must they wear it for?" "Can we only use it while they are sleeping?"

I always tell them I want it on 25 hours a day! Obviously that is not possible but the point I am trying to get across to them is that the head is constantly developing, regardless of whether they are laying down or sitting up, and unless there is some control placed on the long dimension it will continue to develop unchecked and all your efforts will be wasted.

Oh yes – Do tell your Orthotist exactly how much time he is not wearing the helmet for. This information is critical to us when we are deciding what our next move will be when we don't see the expected changes in the child's head we were counting on.

Good luck and don't give up so easily.

Mike Hall C.O. ©

Certified Orthotist

Hamilton Health Sciences

Prosthetics & Orthotics Department,

Hamilton, Ontario

Canada

>> Alright Guys, I've been following you for 3 months now and I've run into my 1st dilemma. Trevor is 5 months old now, got his Hanger band 1 week ago and pretty much, Daddy just does not like it. He was all for it at our initial appts, but now that he has it, DH says "his head really isn't that bad." And I agree, at some angles it looks "not so bad", then at other angles it looks terrible. He has probably been in the band for a total of 6 hours in the past week. Granted, we did go to Busch Gardens for 3 days(for the older kids) and it was very hot. He was OK with him wearing it on the 4 hour trip though, but as soon as we would stop to eat, he would take it off before we got out of the car. I think he is embarrassed of it. I am a nurse and work 12 hour night shifts over the weekend so I take care of Trevor Mon thru Fri, then Daddy takes over Fri afternoon and does baby duty until Mon morning. (we do this to avoid daycares.) As soon as I lay down to take a nap (before coming in for the night shift) or in the mornings when I come in and put the band on, then go to bed, within 5 minutes of lying down, I can hear the infamous sound of the rip of the velcro. I don't even bother to get up and argue about it. At that point of being awake for sometimes 28-30 hours I'm too tired to deal with it. I don't understand why he won't accept it. I try over and over to explain the benefits of the band now. He is not in the medical field, so I have done all the research and pretty much all of the decisions. I guess my question is, if he only wears it part-time while I am doing baby duty, will he pretty much still get alot of benefit from it? Or am I just wasting my time? I'm too embarrassed to even tell the orthotist this. sorry I was so winded. I just needed to get this off my mind. By the way, Trevor has a 10mm plagio on the right side. Thanks guys, > > P.S. I even decorated it in the Disney Cars theme since Daddy likes cars so much, and it was initially blue from Hanger so it is cute-not the medical white. The back has Mater (Tow Mater) on it with the words "just fixin' my flat." When Daddy came home from work and saw it all he had to say was "your words aren't centered." I guess that was a clue, huh?>