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I totally understand

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I guess we all have secrets in our closet. I was also molested when I

was a child, but back then, you did not dare tell anyone and if you

tried to, they just said you were lying and to go away. Well, I paid

dearly as I go older and the last time my father beat me, it took

three people to get him off of me. You know why? My brother and I

were

taking turns doing the dishes and he and I traded, but when it came

time to do the dishes, he did not speak up and my father when into a

rage and I paid for it. He beat me so back that I could not walk for

two days and could not go to school. He did not touch me again after

that. I was 16. He died two years later. The last year has been very

difficult for us because our 15 year old daughter (she was 14) was

raped last October. It took along time for us to press charges

because

we did not want to put her through anymore than we had to and the DA

said it would very hard to get a jury to convict him for rape so he

pleaded to a lesser charge and got 60 days in jail and is on

probation. She has been under a doctor's care for the last year and

has tried to kill herself twice. In fact, last Wednesday, we were in

the E.R. until 3:30 in the morning because she had take an overdose

of

the antidepressant the doctor had given her. We tried to protect her

the best we could and it was so hard looking at this man in court

without wanting to just, well you know. I did not have anyone to

protect me and I was going to may sure my daugher know that her

father

and I would always be here for her. She had to go through extensive

testing (HIV, pregnancy test, etc.) and she has to undergo one more

HIV test and she will be finished. I almost changed may mind about

the surgery because of everything that has happened in the past year,

but my husband told me that I have to take care of myself too so that

I could be here for him and our daughter.

Just wanted you to know that I do understand just like some of the

others.

With Love

Joyce

Chapel Hill

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