Re MGB - Truth - Long

[Guest guest]

As many of you I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life. I went

from diet to diet. I did manage to lose 70 lbs on phen-fen, but put it all

back on after the medicine was pulled from the market. I also got pregnant

after loosing all that weight too. I gained 62 lbs during my last pregnancy

and only lost 18 lbs after I had my son. I got fed up with diet and

exercising. I thought there has to be a better way.

I suffered from my own self pity and mild depression. I just wanted to wear

spandex, eat and be left alone. LoL I've never taken any types of depression

medicine or saw Drs. for it, but I knew depression was there.

After having my 2nd son I was 225 lbs -- and 5 `1. " My husband never

complained about my weight. He `d always say " I love you regardless " I

slipped into a mode where I didn't even want to have sex. I didn't want him

to see me naked or touch me. I was disgusted with myself. Through all of this

though, I continued to eat. I would get up during the night to eat. I was a

typical " hiding eater " I hated myself for that too. Every Monday was going to

be a new diet and workout program, but nothing ever panned out.

I looked in to the RNY and honestly the thought of having a scare from just

below my bust line to my belly didn't set well with me and the recovery time

didn't sound good either. I own 2 small businesses and have 2 young children.

I just couldn't take all that time off from work. The cost was astonishing

too, something like $25,000, which I didn't have in the bank to spend on

surgery.

While searching the web one day I came across the MGB site. I think it was

May 10, 2000. The day of my 34th birthday. I said to myself this is it. This

is what I have been searching for. I immediately started to get my packet

together. By May 30th I had my packet done and fed ex`d it off. A few days

later I got a call from Barbara stating that I had been approved by Dr R.

Several days later I was at clinic and on June 9th, 2000 I had the MGB done.

( I was a self pay) This was a Friday.

I went through the surgery with no complications and minimal pain. I was

released from DRH at 9:00 am Saturday the 10th of June. On the way back to

the hospital we stopped for juice and meds. When I got back to the hotel with

my husband and my 2 sons we all took about a 3 hour nap. Then went to

Cattleman's for dinner. I had soup and the hubby had steak, which I drooled

over, but I survived.

On Sunday at 1:00Pm I boarded a Southwest plane to come back to Nashville. I

was fine too. I didn't have any problems. I guess my tummy felt like I had

done too many sit ups his how I would explain the little discomfort I had.

When I got home I cooked dinner for my family, unpacked, checked my email

and went to bed. I slept just fine through the night.

I ate mostly yogurt, watermelon, soups, tomato juice, Gatorade and water.

Everything I tried was just fine. I did miss food though. I would sit a droll

over the TV commercials.

I continued to ask myself " what have I done " ? I must be crazy! Why couldn't

you just say no to food " I just couldn't. I don't know why, I just couldn't.

Now I am almost 4 1/2 months post op and doing well. Yeah, I know about all

the hoopla, but I could have gone into WLS with an RNY and

died on that table too. For that fact both my sons were C sections and I

could have died having them, but I didn't.

I do not have bile reflux, vomiting or anything else that I can think of that

could be related to the MGB. Although I do have to admit it has changed my

mental state a bit. i `m far confident and less willing to put of the B.S.

from others. I have my own two feet and I `m going to stand on them.

As for my eating habits I have found that I can eat everything I did prior to

surgery. I still eat chocolate, chips and other the other bad stuff, but it's

in moderation. I've found that some of the bad stuff doesn't appeal to me any

more though. There are times when my tummy feels like the bottomless pit and

than there are days when I just pick. I have found that I can hold more water

then I did after surgery too. Things do get easier. The bathroom habits

change too. I would think. " Gowd, how can I got through the rest of my life

having to be near a bathroom all the time, " but that changes too. I have gone

back to " normal " I do have hairloss though and it FREAKS me out. I've been

told that it stops falling out. I am praying for that day to come soon.

Well, as of right now I have lost 46 lbs and 7 inches from my waist. I didn't

keep up with the rest of my measurements, but I started in a size 18 - 20 and

i `m now in a 14. I've also separated from my husband of 15 years and we `re

trying to work things out. I think we both have issues to resolve.

In my opinion this surgery isn't a total miracle, it's close, but not a total

miracle. It's a tool. You still need to do a bit of exercising (hey, it

couldn't hurt) and watch what you eat. You will have mental and physical

issues. You will doubt yourself and you will always wonder what is going to

happen in 5 - 10 years. I know I do, but I think it's a small price to pay

for a healthier you. I feel 100% better then I did 1 year ago and i `m hoping

by next year this time I will be at my weight goal of 115 lbs. But if I don't

get there. I know even 30 - 40 lbs lighter then what I was will make a

difference.

If anyone has any questions feel free to email me. I am always willing to be

a contact too. Remember only you know is good for you.

Best wishes,

Joanne Tillman

Tennessee

06/09/00 - 225

10/18/00 - 179