Not totally cf related/just talking

[Guest guest]

Well today(already) is another one of those days.I am only writing

because i dont know of another people so compassionate and

understanding.

Just when i thought i had enough with cf and now tylers cough being

attrocious enough that theyll more than likely need to put him back

on ivs, he was diagnosed today with adhd.Thats ok too, i can handle

it right?Weve been through worse together before and maybe now with

an actual diagnosis we can make strides.I come home, within 10 min my

4 yr old has pulled the firealarm(again), my neighbor whom i very

close to tells me my son cant come on her porch anymore, and when i

call my hubbys cell to get some kind of emotional support for the

days horrific events he proceeds to tell me hes at the local bar

drinking with his workpal.Ive had enough.Im so stressed out i dont

know where to turn, with the exception of ya ll in hopes that maybe

someone here can understand the pressure all of this is like.I flip

through memories in my life searching for an answer as to why this is

all happening and all at once at that.I find nothing...no logical

explanation as to why cf and the other issues has been welcomed into

my home and turned my life upside down.

This is one of those days i wished i didnt have to talk to 3 drs

offices to get a handle on tylers health....the fighting for answers

and solutions, the wondering if it will all go away, or at least get

better.Outside of the fact that this disease is deteriorating not

only my sons life but the quality of his life, the next worse thing

is the absolute guilt it has instilled in me.I hate these days, and

yet they are so fond of me, coming more frequently, with every ounce

of energy these days have i feel they are making efforts at bringing

me down, and even that itself is a fight.

This disease has isolated me from normalcies of life or what my

interpretation of those normalcies are, and the fact that i feel that

way magnifies my guilt more.

I always try to pray for others when i know that theyre struggliing,

and others' challenges act a s encouragement for me to go on...to

continue the fight for so many that have suffered the emotional

effects of this never ending card we've all been dealt.I ask that for

those of you that this is applicable that you please pray for me

too.My only wish is to find comfort with the situations that arise,

the courage and strength to face every dibilitating emotional factor

i must embrace, and that somewhere, sometime, help will finally be

available to all of those that are victimized by this disease.

While tears have rolled down my cheeks through the majority of this

post i assure you i am strong and with the support of so many on here

i know ill be just fine...tomorrow is another day, and thank heavens

i always have the florida sun warming my soul.Thank you for letting

me vent.

Patty, mo to Tyler8 wcf & adhd:(, austin, 4wocf, and selena,3wocf