For those of you who are left

[Guest guest]

Last night while I lay sleeping,

I died or so it seems.

Then I went to heaven

But t'was only in my dreams.

But, it seems St. met me,

There at the pearly gate.

He said, "I must check your record

So stand right here and wait.

I see where you drank whiskey,

And used tobacco, too.

Fact is you've done everything

That a good person shouldn't do.

We can't have people like you up here,

Your life was full of sin.

Then he read the last of my record,

Grasped my hand and said, "Come in."

He took me up to the Big Boss,

Said "Take him in and treat him well"

He worked in Telecommunications, sir.

He's already had his share of hell.