Re: Update, Deb, Becky, etc....

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/18/2004 9:33:34 AM Central Standard Time,

mntecrlo@... writes:

Vondie

You are a wonderful person and have more then enough on you shoulders now and

you husband should not expect anything more from you. Why is it when a man

thinks things should happens certain way it is always the women that has to do

the work. They think everything is so easy because they are not the one having

to do the work!! I think you did the right thing going to you sisters! If he

thinks they need to stay together then find he can make sure they stay together

and do the work that comes with it!!! You are a great person Vondie hang in

there!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

Vondie, the fact is they aren't your responsibility; your boys do come first;

your husband's family can pitch in from now on.

:-)

Dawn mom of 4, 8 and under, the youngest wcf

[Guest guest]

DEAR .DEAR & I do mean that . Dear VONDIE,

You are doing what you are supposed to do. YOU must take care of YOUR

sons first & foremost. They are your responsibility . His grandchildren

are his daughters-then his as a helper to her.

You fall in there only as a back-up . BUT that cant & should NOT take

precedence over your own children -where else would they go??

It isn't an easy decision, as you have tried it & for whatever reason.

As the courts said. TRY to keep the family together, You must follow the

same . Your children with you. If he fits in , Then that is a plus. But

you cant let yours fall into the same fate as these other dear kiddo's

.. Perhaps , you can simply let " her " know you are there as a backup &

helper sometimes, etc.

I don't know the full background, but I DO KNOW-your kids are first with

you!!

I do wish it all works out for all parties. Your such a dear person to

try so hard to help & actually do better with those children.

BUT-------------------They are hers... & HE is their

grandparent.........not you .

Special thoughts to you all.

LOVE & HUGS,

GrandmomBEV

Update, Deb, Becky, etc....

Hello everyone,

I am really far behind on reading so, I will just say that I hope

everything is going well with everyone.

Deb - I am sorry that you and your family is going through all of

this. You need to do what you think is best in regards to you and your

husband. I have felt like you do many times, but I am still here

plugging away. Maybe its not the smartest decision I have made, but my

decision all the same.

The boys went to the clinic last Wednesday. All in all they are doing

fine. They are changing their enzymes to Pancrease MT16. They are

having malabsorption issues again.

had a ct scan Tuesday to see why so many headaches. Crossing my

fingers that it wont be another surgery. (He had polyps removed a

couple years ago)

Really I am just hoping that everything is going to settle down around

here.

The grandkids are back with my husbands daughter again. A very long

story and it seems to be the same ole, same ole. Family services not

much help, they said that the first priority is to keep the family

together. So, I feel like I have jumped through all the hoops and

nothing. I know this sounds horrible, but I told my husband that I

would not do it again. It is just too much to keep having my family,

here at home, turned upside down and inside out all the time. The whole

time the kids were here I fell so far behind on my two boys. It just

seemed like there wasnt enough of me to go around. I just cannot do it

anymore. I dont want to make him choose, because that is his daughter

and his grandkids, but I cant do it anymore. I have already made

arrangements with my sis to go stay with her for awhile if I have to.

I just feel that I have to take care of my boys, first and foremost.

I know that the decision that I made probably isnt the most popular

one, but please dont slam me too hard for it. I have gotten enough of

that from my husbands family, who think that I am not being a very good

person.

Sorry for being so long winded. And I do hope that everyone else

is doing good.

Oh, before I forget - congrats to becky on her new trailer. She must

be so happy. And I apologize for not being able to help much, but you

have been in my thoughts (as scattered as they have been. ))))))

Vondie

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I agree that at times men are more than a little selfish. They dont

understand what we have to do to take care of our little ones. I think they

know what it is, but they really do not " understand " it. Men have their own

ways of dealing with things. I will stay on the subject of MY husband, so not

to offend anyone. There is a big difference between my feelings as a mother and

his feelings as a father. I am not saying that he doesnt love the boys, but it

seems that their needs fall a little short behind what he considers important

sometime. Where I feel like I need to be there at every moment, to take care

of them. He thinks I am crazy sometimes. If the boys are sick, I sleep with

them. I am so afraid that they will stop breathing and I wont be there to help.

I even have a scanner programmed with the schools stations on it, in case

something was to happen- like calling in an ambulance, etc... I know I am more

than a little overprotective of the kids.. Maybe the difference is that he has

2 kids before me and they are perfectly healthy. My babies are all I have.

They are the one things that I have in this world that I did right and that

nothing can take from me, except death and damn it - I will keep that as far

away from them as I can. And yes, I will admit that maybe I dont have a

healthy way of dealing with things, but I take my responsibilities with my sons

VERY seriously.

I guess I should stop this for a while. I need to take the boys to the

dentist today and I havent even started getting ready yet. ( I have curly hais

and it is resembling my poodles butt right now, haha)

I wish you a better day.

VOndie

Re: Update, Deb, Becky, etc....

In a message dated 2/18/2004 9:33:34 AM Central Standard Time,

mntecrlo@... writes:

Vondie

You are a wonderful person and have more then enough on you shoulders now and

you husband should not expect anything more from you. Why is it when a man

thinks things should happens certain way it is always the women that has to do

the work. They think everything is so easy because they are not the one having

to do the work!! I think you did the right thing going to you sisters! If he

thinks they need to stay together then find he can make sure they stay

together

and do the work that comes with it!!! You are a great person Vondie hang in

there!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

Dear Vondie,

Don't worry about not being there for us. You've been there for us before, now

we are here for you. You have to take care of your own kids first. Them and

their health is number one. Don't feel bad, for you do what you need to. If some

people can't understand it too bad for them. we are behind you 100%

love,

M