RE: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys

[Guest guest]

Ugh! I would babysit for free if I lived near you. They need to be told they are NOT the parents and your child's health decisions are you and your partners alone. They can abide by the rules or choose not to spend any time with their grandkids at all until they've graduated. Tell them they can also reimburse you the 6 grand you're now out. It is IMPERATIVE they keep those hats on 23/7 at their age and you have no time to mess with them. Threaten to quit working and you can move into their house since they will be bankrupting you and you can spend every waking moments with your babies at their house and they can foot all the food bills and electricity etc. YOUR their mom. YOU know what's best. I would have zero tolerance for that b.s. There must be a daycare available

somewhere. Does canada have a craigslist? I'm sorry to be all rawr! But hurting my child's health is a deal breaker. KimFrom: Leina Tian <leinatian@...>plagiocephaly Sent: Tue, October 5, 2010 4:32:33 PMSubject: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys

I finally got the helmets for my 14.5 months twin boys last night. I was happy. But then I tried to put the helmets on them for 1 hour. The grandparents were totally pissed off when they see their grandsons in helmets and when they took off the helmets, of course there's a lot of sweat. They were super angry and yelling at me, it seems that I did the worst thing in the world to my babies... They said they won't put the helmets on what so ever during day time when they watch the kids.

My husband didn't support my decision from the beginning, which makes the situation worse. i am an immigrant in Canada. My in-laws are here looking after my children since I just re-started working last week. It's too late to put the boys to day care due to the long waiting list. I just cannot do anything to prevent the grandparents from not putting the helmets on. I know I could quit and watch my kids myself, but then there's not enough money for everything.

I just paid ~$6000 dolloars yesterday for the helmets without knowing if the insurance company would cover (even if they do, it's only going to be 50%), and just after one night, they are asking me to throw the helmets away because they won't use them for sure.... I really don't know what to do... They just won't listen to me at all.

[Guest guest]

At the first sign of my mom starting to act against my wife's wishes,

I immediately made it clear who was the chief and who was the indian,

in those exact terms. Your in-laws are your husband's problem, and

he is 100% of your problem, in my opinion, not just a contributing

factor. I don't think you'd be justified divorcing over the specific

disagreement about moderate plagiocephaly (8 mm and 10 mm as

mentioned in the archives), but you should expect to be able to reach

an understanding and act as a unit, and it does cast doubt on your

relationship, in my mind, if that doesn't happen.

I'm agruing from the male perspective, surprisingly. Oh, how I

cringed at the sound of the phrase, " our relationship, " for the 11

years before the babies! I was not ready. Maybe society is partly

to blame if men fail to suddenly mature at the appearance of

offspring, but personally, I was never as in-sync with my wife before

we conceived the twins. I concluded that her pregnancy hormones were

somehow spurring *my* brain into an undocumented phase of organic

development! New powers of long-term memory recall brought

resolution to not let the personal problems I had experienced in

early childhood affect my kids. A strange preoccupation with my own

mortality prompted me to be more careful in the present. Weirdest of

all were actual perceptual changes occurring at the time of birth. I

told my wife that I was seeing babies' faces in veneer woodgrain, and

she was like, " Yeah, me too. "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia#Evolutionary_advantage

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imprinting_(psychology)

Good luck to your *new* family.

Thad Launderville

town, VT

Clara age 2, STARband '10

On Oct 5, 2010, at 7:32 PM, Leina Tian wrote:

> My husband didn't support my decision from the beginning, which

> makes the situation worse.

[Guest guest]

Your email brought tears to my eyes, for some reason. Maybe there are still some pregnancy hormones left in my body.

Thanks for your kind word and for telling me your story.

Plagiocephaly From: p38thadl@...Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2010 01:25:16 -0400Subject: Re: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys

At the first sign of my mom starting to act against my wife's wishes, I immediately made it clear who was the chief and who was the indian, in those exact terms. Your in-laws are your husband's problem, and he is 100% of your problem, in my opinion, not just a contributing factor. I don't think you'd be justified divorcing over the specific disagreement about moderate plagiocephaly (8 mm and 10 mm as mentioned in the archives), but you should expect to be able to reach an understanding and act as a unit, and it does cast doubt on your relationship, in my mind, if that doesn't happen.I'm agruing from the male perspective, surprisingly. Oh, how I cringed at the sound of the phrase, "our relationship," for the 11 years before the babies! I was not ready. Maybe society is partly to blame if men fail to suddenly mature at the appearance of offspring, but personally, I was never as in-sync with my wife before we conceived the twins. I concluded that her pregnancy hormones were somehow spurring *my* brain into an undocumented phase of organic development! New powers of long-term memory recall brought resolution to not let the personal problems I had experienced in early childhood affect my kids. A strange preoccupation with my own mortality prompted me to be more careful in the present. Weirdest of all were actual perceptual changes occurring at the time of birth. I told my wife that I was seeing babies' faces in veneer woodgrain, and she was like, "Yeah, me too."http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia#Evolutionary_advantagehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imprinting_(psychology)Good luck to your *new* family.Thad Laundervilletown, VTClara age 2, STARband '10On Oct 5, 2010, at 7:32 PM, Leina Tian wrote:> My husband didn't support my decision from the beginning, which > makes the situation worse.

[Guest guest]

Thank you & Chans Mommy, I do think this is something that'll affect the relationships of me & them and me & my husband for the rest of my life if I miss this chance of correcting my boys' head shapes. I started repositioning my boys since they were 3 months old when I found out about their flat heads. Doctor only told me about repositioning, so I was doing all I could to reposition him before they turned 13 months old. I have problems falling back to sleep once waking up, but I still keep doing it. I wake up many many times during nights to reposition them for the past whole year, actually when there's small sound of them moving, I'd wake up right away to check if they turned back onto the flat spot. So when I found out that there's this effective method of banding their heads, it's like my dream came true. I wish that one day when I look at my boys heads, I won't have this complicated feelings any more, even if they won't be perfect but I would be happy that I've tried all I could at least.

And thank you Kim as well. Although your suggestions for me quiting my job and moving into their house and all those won't really work for my situation (they just came to Canada on a visitor visa and if I quit my husband's own income won't be able to support the whole family of 4 adults and 2 babies), I do thank you for being angry with me for my problem.

And Thad, thanks for telling me your story, I really hope my husband is like you =).

All the best to all of you. I'll still try my best to fight for my babies best. Will keep you updated.

Leina, mom of twin boys Don & Derrick, 14.5 months old

Plagiocephaly From: tinsel2003@...Date: Wed, 6 Oct 2010 00:28:40 -0700Subject: Re: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys

Ugh! I would babysit for free if I lived near you. They need to be told they are NOT the parents and your child's health decisions are you and your partners alone. They can abide by the rules or choose not to spend any time with their grandkids at all until they've graduated. Tell them they can also reimburse you the 6 grand you're now out. It is IMPERATIVE they keep those hats on 23/7 at their age and you have no time to mess with them. Threaten to quit working and you can move into their house since they will be bankrupting you and you can spend every waking moments with your babies at their house and they can foot all the food bills and electricity etc. YOUR their mom. YOU know what's best. I would have zero tolerance for that b.s. There must be a daycare available somewhere. Does canada have a craigslist? I'm sorry to be all rawr! But hurting my child's health is a deal breaker. Kim

From: Leina Tian <leinatian@...>plagiocephaly Sent: Tue, October 5, 2010 4:32:33 PMSubject: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys

I finally got the helmets for my 14.5 months twin boys last night. I was happy. But then I tried to put the helmets on them for 1 hour. The grandparents were totally pissed off when they see their grandsons in helmets and when they took off the helmets, of course there's a lot of sweat. They were super angry and yelling at me, it seems that I did the worst thing in the world to my babies... They said they won't put the helmets on what so ever during day time when they watch the kids. My husband didn't support my decision from the beginning, which makes the situation worse. i am an immigrant in Canada. My in-laws are here looking after my children since I just re-started working last week. It's too late to put the boys to day care due to the long waiting list. I just cannot do anything to prevent the grandparents from not putting the helmets on. I know I could quit and watch my kids myself, but then there's not enough money for everything. I just paid ~$6000 dolloars yesterday for the helmets without knowing if the insurance company would cover (even if they do, it's only going to be 50%), and just after one night, they are asking me to throw the helmets away because they won't use them for sure.... I really don't know what to do... They just won't listen to me at all.

[Guest guest]

Leina,You are in an impossible situation. Perhaps, you could take the grandparents to visit the orthotist who could explain why it is so important that the boys wear their helmets at all times. Given their age, they really need to make the most out of the time they have left for treatment. Not to mention the money!!! Your husband needs to act like a partner and support YOU. If he'd do that, the grandparents just might be more supportive.That is horrible!! You are just trying to do what's right for your children and the grandparents are getting in the way. What they are doing is completely unreasonable and unfair to you and the boys. The grandparents and dad should put the boys FIRST. Shame on them! I hope things work out. Keep us posted.-AmyFrom: Leina Tian <leinatian@...>plagiocephaly Sent: Tue, October 5, 2010 7:32:33 PMSubject: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys

I finally got the helmets for my 14.5 months twin boys last night. I was happy. But then I tried to put the helmets on them for 1 hour. The grandparents were totally pissed off when they see their grandsons in helmets and when they took off the helmets, of course there's a lot of sweat. They were super angry and yelling at me, it seems that I did the worst thing in the world to my babies... They said they won't put the helmets on what so ever during day time when they watch the kids.

My husband didn't support my decision from the beginning, which makes the situation worse. i am an immigrant in Canada. My in-laws are here looking after my children since I just re-started working last week. It's too late to put the boys to day care due to the long waiting list. I just cannot do anything to prevent the grandparents from not putting the helmets on. I know I could quit and watch my kids myself, but then there's not enough money for everything.

I just paid ~$6000 dolloars yesterday for the helmets without knowing if the insurance company would cover (even if they do, it's only going to be 50%), and just after one night, they are asking me to throw the helmets away because they won't use them for sure.... I really don't know what to do... They just won't listen to me at all.

[Guest guest]

Wow my inlaw is the same way. She kept at it with poor baby he's suffering. I was like poor baby? He's not handicap! He's fortunate for getting the opportunity to adjust his head. Its like giving a child braces. There is some discomfort at the beginning but then they adjust. The sweating does go away after a couple weeks. Maybe its best to argue with the in laws until you have your husbands support. Having the helmets on at least half the day is better than not at all. Once your husband sees they don't bother the boys he'll be able to convince his parents as well. Good luck!Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: Amy McGinnis <mcg_woo@...>Sender: Plagiocephaly Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2010 14:02:56 -0700 (PDT)<Plagiocephaly >Reply Plagiocephaly Subject: Re: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys Leina,You are in an impossible situation. Perhaps, you could take the grandparents to visit the orthotist who could explain why it is so important that the boys wear their helmets at all times. Given their age, they really need to make the most out of the time they have left for treatment. Not to mention the money!!! Your husband needs to act like a partner and support YOU. If he'd do that, the grandparents just might be more supportive.That is horrible!! You are just trying to do what's right for your children and the grandparents are getting in the way. What they are doing is completely unreasonable and unfair to you and the boys. The grandparents and dad should put the boys FIRST. Shame on them! I hope things work out. Keep us posted.-AmyFrom: Leina Tian <leinatian@...>plagiocephaly Sent: Tue, October 5, 2010 7:32:33 PMSubject: Other family members won't put the helmets on the boys I finally got the helmets for my 14.5 months twin boys last night. I was happy. But then I tried to put the helmets on them for 1 hour. The grandparents were totally pissed off when they see their grandsons in helmets and when they took off the helmets, of course there's a lot of sweat. They were super angry and yelling at me, it seems that I did the worst thing in the world to my babies... They said they won't put the helmets on what so ever during day time when they watch the kids. My husband didn't support my decision from the beginning, which makes the situation worse. i am an immigrant in Canada. My in-laws are here looking after my children since I just re-started working last week. It's too late to put the boys to day care due to the long waiting list. I just cannot do anything to prevent the grandparents from not putting the helmets on. I know I could quit and watch my kids myself, but then there's not enough money for everything. I just paid ~$6000 dolloars yesterday for the helmets without knowing if the insurance company would cover (even if they do, it's only going to be 50%), and just after one night, they are asking me to throw the helmets away because they won't use them for sure.... I really don't know what to do... They just won't listen to me at all.