Re: Depression to Sonja

[Guest guest]

Dear Sonja,

I have been where you are now emotionally. I have made 2 attempts to

take my life because of CP and the pain, and trust me, it's just not

worth it. I too get furious at how my life turned out...I keep

telling myself it wasn't supposed to turn out this way...this is so

wrong...I'm a good person, why do I have to be in such pain? Why did

my life fall apart like this? Finally, I was forced to seek help. I

kicked and moaned, and said I didn't want to go on anymore like this,

but thankfully I found two guardian angels...my psychiatrist and my

pain doctor. I was in the hospital after one of my " attempts " , and

this Indian doctor walked in. I was so mad that I was still alive,

that I told him to get the *#@* out of my room. Well, he just

wouldn't leave, and asked me how exactly could he help. He has

taken care of me ever since. He even found my pain management doctor

for me.

I now take the anti-depressants Celexa, Neurontin and Zyprexa and

Ativan for anxiety. Although they do help most of the time, I do get

my " down " days. In fact, I've been in a funk now for almost three

days, my pancreas is killing me, I've been vomiting, have

diarrhea..the whole nine yards. But at least I don't want to do away

with myself anymore. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I

have my cats and dogs to comfort me each day, I have a good and

caring husband, and a nice house, all of which I'm grateful for now.

It sounds to me Sonja that you could really use someone to talk to.

Someone to vent to. Just remember that you're not alone, many people

feel like we do.

I hope this helps, even just a little bit.

/NJ

> Hi everyone, just a comment and question on the antidepressive

theme.