Lynda - Mom with CP

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Lynda,

It's frustrating to type a long message and then have it all erased, I

understand that, I've done it enough times myself!! More frustrating,

though, is what you're experiencing with your mother. That truly can

be a stress for you.

You are right in that you need to get her to her specialist, and, if

possible, someone else in the medical community who could counsel her

about her condition and influence her to take more of a concern for

her health, if her specialist isn't willing. If she's showing such a

disinterest in eating, she could end up in a weakened condition very

quickly.

Are you trying to feed her low fat meals? The reason I ask this is

because those of us with pancreatitis do find that foods high in fat

and high in protein cause additional pain and discomfort, so most of

us have to stick to a really low fat diet, usually no more than 30

grams of fat per day. If it hurts too much to eat, liquids are our

only resort. Since you mentioned that she's always drinking gatorade,

tea or coffee, I thought that maybe she's having a problem with the

food, and it's causing too much discomfort.

Since she's drinking liquids without difficulty, you might bring her

some Low-fat Ensure, Slim Fast or Boost, and encourage her to drink

that instead. If she's not getting the nutrition and vitamins that

she needs from food intake, she will be very non-energetic and in a

weakened state. That may explain why she's sleeping so much. And

then, if she's drinking so much coffee and tea when she is awake, that

would be having a negative effect on her ability to sleep at night.

Coffee also is known to be a great irritant for the digestive system,

and may well be one of the causes of her continual pancreas pain.

You mentioned that she's taking " tons " of pills, but not all for her

pancreas. And then you talked about the Vicodin. I'd have to say

that Vicodin would actually be included in the list of meds for her

pancreas problems. Nearly all of us are on some type of pain

medication for our CP, and many of us have to use much stronger

analgesics than Vicodin, just to fuction. If she's taking a good

amount of Vicodin, it would seem very likely that she's experiencing a

lot of pancreas pain. It's hard to say whether this is being caused

by her eating, or other triggers, but if it's bothering her that much,

she really does need to see her specialist. If she's not already been

prescribed some pancreatic enzymes to take when she eats, it sounds as

though she could really use them. What are her other health

conditions that would require her to need " tons " of pills? There may

be something else that's amiss, also, that would add to her depression

and lack of interest.

I don't know whether you've tried this yet, but another suggestion

that might work would be that if you're able to spend the time with

her, is that when you bring her a meal, stay with her while she eats

it. Don't let her tell you she'll eat it later....tell her you're

worried about her and you'd be happy to keep her company while she

eats. That way she can't tell you she ate, and just throw the food

into the garbage. You've accommodated her already by allowing her to

take her meals in her room instead of at the table, tell her it's her

turn to be considerate of your efforts by cooking for her, by allowing

you to see that she eats properly. If she won't agree to this, then

maybe you need to try the going to the hospital trick again.

Sometimes you have to play games to get successful results. She

sounds as though she's gotten her way in most everything, and a bit

stubborn, to boot, but that's not at all different from most people

her age.

As far as I can see, you and your family have done everything possible

to accommodate her and you've spent a lot of time trying to help her,

at much sacrifice for your own health and privacy. You have your own

health concerns to worry about, and care for, and she needs to know

that there are other priorities that are just as important.

As far as her smoking goes, well, I think you know her answer about

that, she's already made it clear to the doctor that she doesn't

intend to quit. I've found by experience with my own elderly father,

(he's 82 and has had 2 heart attacks), that once they've been smoking

that long, there's really not a thing you can do to get them to stop

if they don't want to. Doesn't matter what the doctor says! Not that

I'm advising you to do this, but my siblings and I just found it was

better not to give him any more grief about this anymore, cause it

just caused too much argument. We felt that at his age, he just

didn't need any more tension. But that doesn't mean that he's allowed

to smoke anywhere he wants, either.

As far as I can see, you and your family have done everything possible

to accommodate her and you've spent a lot of time trying to help her,

at much sacrifice for your own health and privacy. You have your own

health concerns to worry about, and care for, and she needs to know

that there are other priorities besides herself that are just as

important. She might need to be gently reminded of this, and have it

explained to her that if you aren't well enough to take care of her,

that it may not even be possible for her to stay with you. I'm not

saying that you would even consider doing anything else than what you

are, all I'm saying is that maybe if she heard something like this, it

might make her become a little bit more aware of the strain that her

poor health is putting on your family. It may help to bring her to

the realization that there are several things she COULD DO to improve

her health, by cooperating with her treatment and her doctor's orders.

This may be something that you could talk privately with her doctor

about, explain the situation to him, and see if he would talk

privately with her about the significance of it all. If he's not

comfortable with doing this, he's really not the best doctor for her,

and you might consider finding another specialist. When the patient

is as old as your mother, and dependent upon her children for her care

and well being, he needs to be just as concerned about the family and

household environment as he does the patient. And if he's unwilling,

or unsuccessful, then your idea about some psychological counseling

isn't off base at all.

I hope some of this is of some help. Don't feel that you have to

apologize for needing to vent, Lynda. You've got a really exhausting

and stressful situation going on there, and you've got every reason to

vent and to need support from people who can understand. We'll try to

help you any way that we can. The most important thing right now is

for you to get some relief, or see some progress, in your mother's

condition. That's what you both need, and I hope you can make it

happen. Please post again and let us know what's going on, okay?

With love, hope and prayers,

Heidi

Heidi H. Griffeth

South Carolina Rep.

SE Regional Rep., PAI

Note: All comments or advice are based on my personal experiences or

opinion only, and should never be substituted for the consultation and

recommendations of your physician or other medical professionals.