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I don't know if anyone else has ever done this before, but something inside me

is screaming for me to do it...

Okay. First of all I am not after any sympathy. I am not seeking any help from

anyone about this. I just want you all to know something.

The very greatest risk of having this surgery is death. We are told this many

times so that we understand it's possiblity.

I have made so many friends, and shared so much with all of you over the past 2

months or so, that I feel I must share my feelings about that possibility.

I am not afraid of dying, anytime anywhere. With all this weight I am carrying

around with me, I am dying right now. I am dying slowly, watching myself being

incapable of doing the things that use to make me who I am.

The things that I loved to do. So, in otherwords I am not happy being a lesser

person. I'm taking the chance of changing that with this surgery.

If any thing would happen and I would not make it through surgery, I am totally

ready to accept that.

I would want my family at home and my family here not to be sad or sorry, but to

know that I embraced death, for no matter what I will be thin and happy either

way.

And probably cracking up God til his side hurts from laughter...

Please all of you pray His Will Be Done, and accept whatever His Will will be.

I had to share this with you, I've shared everthing else.....

Wouldn't want something to happen, and you guys all think " poor Trudy " . To the

contrary more than anything I want to someday see God. I feel it's up to Him

when that day will come. And I can accept that.

Trudy

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