Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Hello all Well I had the meeting this morning with Adam's teacher, principal and other special ed. teachers. The man did NOT think it inappropriate of him to say to everyone " I read Adam's IEP yesterday when Debby gave it to me and...... " We are at the end of October!! It's in his file!!! And he only read it yesterday because I went and got it from the office and copied it for him!??!!!???? Long and short of it is this man did exactly what I expected. Yesterday he FOLLOWED the IEP, I know because Adam told me he got a " job of responsibility " yesterday and he was so excited that he was given one. What was the job you ask?? Ready for this??? He was asked to get something for the teacher off his desk!!!! HELLO????? Whatever, it's a lost cause. It is obvious the man does not want Adam in his room, does not want to deal with him nor does he want to have to work with him. So when it was suggested perhaps he should be withdrawn to another class to do his work, I agreed. Adam does not need that, he needs what every other teacher has done for 9 years. But fine, I figure it gets him away from the man who is constantly yelling at him. He doesn't want him there, fine, I will allow him out. I stood on my head though and said this should be a gradual thing. Adam spends 5 minutes of the math lesson in the grade 8 class then goes out to work somewhere else. In 2 weeks, he stays for 10 minutes then leaves, a few weeks later, he stays for 15 minutes etc. He CAN do this, he just is choosing not to. This way, he can have what he needs to succeed. His work will be chunked into manageable parts (for Adam, and I don't know why!!!!, but he needs to be told..... " do question 1 " and then when it's done " great Adam, now let's see if you can do 2, and if you can't I'll do 2 and then you do 3 " etc.) Fine, the other special ed. teacher will do this for him. She will allow him to use his lap top and she will make sure he gets short breaks. I have decided he will probably never run into such a teacher again (not to this extreme; and if he does in high school?? I can demand a change in classes; I'm not doing the battle now) I'll take the easy way out. I could force the man to HAVE to follow his IEP, will he?? No of course not, and that will only lead to Adam getting incredibly frustrated and then he will act out and that will get his teacher mad and then Adam will act up more. And it's not worth it. We just have to " make do " this year and start fresh next year in high school. This guy just doesn't get it. He doesn't and he never will. That's the beginning and end of it. UGH. But I am glad it is over. Adam will benefit. He's not happy about it, I told him on our way home now for lunch, but I told him that this is happening because of the way he behaves. You know what Adam said? " Mom I'm not retarded you know " . I said " well Adam, you are acting like you can't do the work, I don't agree with the word retarded but that is what you are making the other teachers THINK you are because you are refusing to work. If you want them to KNOW you can do this stuff, then YOU HAVE TO do it. For instance when you answer a question, you zip off one short sentence, but in grade 8 you should be writing 10 sentences for one question " He said " but mom that's because I am lazy " . Ah, he even admits it. So what do you do with that?? What's worked in the past? You reinforce him and then he does more. Your praise him and he gives more. But it's like talking to a wall trying to ask for this. AS for the food? Not going anywhere. The principal is even not going for it, they are sweeping it under the carpet and I can't get anywhere with it as Adam is now refusing to eat his snacks so they are telling me " he doesn't want it Debby " . Forget it. I give up. We will deal with this and see how it goes. Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Hi Debby, Wow, they really are stubborn in there! It seems they just don't wanna listen to you... Good luck dealing with them! Amy > > Hello all > Well I had the meeting this morning with Adam's teacher, principal and other special ed. teachers. > The man did NOT think it inappropriate of him to say to everyone " I read Adam's IEP yesterday when Debby gave it to me and...... " > We are at the end of October!! It's in his file!!! And he only read it yesterday because I went and got it from the office and copied it for him!??!!!???? > > Long and short of it is this man did exactly what I expected. Yesterday he FOLLOWED the IEP, I know because Adam told me he got a " job of responsibility " yesterday and he was so excited that he was given one. What was the job you ask?? Ready for this??? He was asked to get something for the teacher off his desk!!!! HELLO????? Whatever, it's a lost cause. > > It is obvious the man does not want Adam in his room, does not want to deal with him nor does he want to have to work with him. So when it was suggested perhaps he should be withdrawn to another class to do his work, I agreed. Adam does not need that, he needs what every other teacher has done for 9 years. But fine, I figure it gets him away from the man who is constantly yelling at him. He doesn't want him there, fine, I will allow him out. I stood on my head though and said this should be a gradual thing. Adam spends 5 minutes of the math lesson in the grade 8 class then goes out to work somewhere else. In 2 weeks, he stays for 10 minutes then leaves, a few weeks later, he stays for 15 minutes etc. He CAN do this, he just is choosing not to. > > This way, he can have what he needs to succeed. His work will be chunked into manageable parts (for Adam, and I don't know why!!!!, but he needs to be told..... " do question 1 " and then when it's done " great Adam, now let's see if you can do 2, and if you can't I'll do 2 and then you do 3 " etc.) Fine, the other special ed. teacher will do this for him. She will allow him to use his lap top and she will make sure he gets short breaks. I have decided he will probably never run into such a teacher again (not to this extreme; and if he does in high school?? I can demand a change in classes; I'm not doing the battle now) I'll take the easy way out. I could force the man to HAVE to follow his IEP, will he?? No of course not, and that will only lead to Adam getting incredibly frustrated and then he will act out and that will get his teacher mad and then Adam will act up more. And it's not worth it. We just have to " make do " this year and start fresh next year in high school. > This guy just doesn't get it. He doesn't and he never will. That's the beginning and end of it. > > UGH. But I am glad it is over. Adam will benefit. He's not happy about it, I told him on our way home now for lunch, but I told him that this is happening because of the way he behaves. You know what Adam said? " Mom I'm not retarded you know " . I said " well Adam, you are acting like you can't do the work, I don't agree with the word retarded but that is what you are making the other teachers THINK you are because you are refusing to work. If you want them to KNOW you can do this stuff, then YOU HAVE TO do it. For instance when you answer a question, you zip off one short sentence, but in grade 8 you should be writing 10 sentences for one question " He said " but mom that's because I am lazy " . > > Ah, he even admits it. So what do you do with that?? What's worked in the past? You reinforce him and then he does more. Your praise him and he gives more. > > But it's like talking to a wall trying to ask for this. > > AS for the food? Not going anywhere. The principal is even not going for it, they are sweeping it under the carpet and I can't get anywhere with it as Adam is now refusing to eat his snacks so they are telling me " he doesn't want it Debby " . > > Forget it. I give up. We will deal with this and see how it goes. > > Deb > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Hey Deb ... WOW!!!! Truly unbelievable that any parent has to go through this. Is the principal new? I mean if she has been there any length of time at all she knows he has to eat for crying out loud. I hope that your solutions work out for you. Dawna > > Hello all > Well I had the meeting this morning with Adam's teacher, principal and other special ed. teachers. > The man did NOT think it inappropriate of him to say to everyone " I read Adam's IEP yesterday when Debby gave it to me and...... " > We are at the end of October!! It's in his file!!! And he only read it yesterday because I went and got it from the office and copied it for him!??!!!???? > > Long and short of it is this man did exactly what I expected. Yesterday he FOLLOWED the IEP, I know because Adam told me he got a " job of responsibility " yesterday and he was so excited that he was given one. What was the job you ask?? Ready for this??? He was asked to get something for the teacher off his desk!!!! HELLO????? Whatever, it's a lost cause. > > It is obvious the man does not want Adam in his room, does not want to deal with him nor does he want to have to work with him. So when it was suggested perhaps he should be withdrawn to another class to do his work, I agreed. Adam does not need that, he needs what every other teacher has done for 9 years. But fine, I figure it gets him away from the man who is constantly yelling at him. He doesn't want him there, fine, I will allow him out. I stood on my head though and said this should be a gradual thing. Adam spends 5 minutes of the math lesson in the grade 8 class then goes out to work somewhere else. In 2 weeks, he stays for 10 minutes then leaves, a few weeks later, he stays for 15 minutes etc. He CAN do this, he just is choosing not to. > > This way, he can have what he needs to succeed. His work will be chunked into manageable parts (for Adam, and I don't know why!!!!, but he needs to be told..... " do question 1 " and then when it's done " great Adam, now let's see if you can do 2, and if you can't I'll do 2 and then you do 3 " etc.) Fine, the other special ed. teacher will do this for him. She will allow him to use his lap top and she will make sure he gets short breaks. I have decided he will probably never run into such a teacher again (not to this extreme; and if he does in high school?? I can demand a change in classes; I'm not doing the battle now) I'll take the easy way out. I could force the man to HAVE to follow his IEP, will he?? No of course not, and that will only lead to Adam getting incredibly frustrated and then he will act out and that will get his teacher mad and then Adam will act up more. And it's not worth it. We just have to " make do " this year and start fresh next year in high school. > This guy just doesn't get it. He doesn't and he never will. That's the beginning and end of it. > > UGH. But I am glad it is over. Adam will benefit. He's not happy about it, I told him on our way home now for lunch, but I told him that this is happening because of the way he behaves. You know what Adam said? " Mom I'm not retarded you know " . I said " well Adam, you are acting like you can't do the work, I don't agree with the word retarded but that is what you are making the other teachers THINK you are because you are refusing to work. If you want them to KNOW you can do this stuff, then YOU HAVE TO do it. For instance when you answer a question, you zip off one short sentence, but in grade 8 you should be writing 10 sentences for one question " He said " but mom that's because I am lazy " . > > Ah, he even admits it. So what do you do with that?? What's worked in the past? You reinforce him and then he does more. Your praise him and he gives more. > > But it's like talking to a wall trying to ask for this. > > AS for the food? Not going anywhere. The principal is even not going for it, they are sweeping it under the carpet and I can't get anywhere with it as Adam is now refusing to eat his snacks so they are telling me " he doesn't want it Debby " . > > Forget it. I give up. We will deal with this and see how it goes. > > Deb > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Gee Dawna You are right, she is a brand spanking new principal....how did you guess? Lucky me eh? Deb Re: well I had the meeting Hey Deb ... WOW!!!! Truly unbelievable that any parent has to go through this. Is the principal new? I mean if she has been there any length of time at all she knows he has to eat for crying out loud. I hope that your solutions work out for you. Dawna > > Hello all > Well I had the meeting this morning with Adam's teacher, principal and other special ed. teachers. > The man did NOT think it inappropriate of him to say to everyone " I read Adam's IEP yesterday when Debby gave it to me and...... " > We are at the end of October!! It's in his file!!! And he only read it yesterday because I went and got it from the office and copied it for him!??!!!???? > > Long and short of it is this man did exactly what I expected. Yesterday he FOLLOWED the IEP, I know because Adam told me he got a " job of responsibility " yesterday and he was so excited that he was given one. What was the job you ask?? Ready for this??? He was asked to get something for the teacher off his desk!!!! HELLO????? Whatever, it's a lost cause. > > It is obvious the man does not want Adam in his room, does not want to deal with him nor does he want to have to work with him. So when it was suggested perhaps he should be withdrawn to another class to do his work, I agreed. Adam does not need that, he needs what every other teacher has done for 9 years. But fine, I figure it gets him away from the man who is constantly yelling at him. He doesn't want him there, fine, I will allow him out. I stood on my head though and said this should be a gradual thing. Adam spends 5 minutes of the math lesson in the grade 8 class then goes out to work somewhere else. In 2 weeks, he stays for 10 minutes then leaves, a few weeks later, he stays for 15 minutes etc. He CAN do this, he just is choosing not to. > > This way, he can have what he needs to succeed. His work will be chunked into manageable parts (for Adam, and I don't know why!!!!, but he needs to be told..... " do question 1 " and then when it's done " great Adam, now let's see if you can do 2, and if you can't I'll do 2 and then you do 3 " etc.) Fine, the other special ed. teacher will do this for him. She will allow him to use his lap top and she will make sure he gets short breaks. I have decided he will probably never run into such a teacher again (not to this extreme; and if he does in high school?? I can demand a change in classes; I'm not doing the battle now) I'll take the easy way out. I could force the man to HAVE to follow his IEP, will he?? No of course not, and that will only lead to Adam getting incredibly frustrated and then he will act out and that will get his teacher mad and then Adam will act up more. And it's not worth it. We just have to " make do " this year and start fresh next year in high school. > This guy just doesn't get it. He doesn't and he never will. That's the beginning and end of it. > > UGH. But I am glad it is over. Adam will benefit. He's not happy about it, I told him on our way home now for lunch, but I told him that this is happening because of the way he behaves. You know what Adam said? " Mom I'm not retarded you know " . I said " well Adam, you are acting like you can't do the work, I don't agree with the word retarded but that is what you are making the other teachers THINK you are because you are refusing to work. If you want them to KNOW you can do this stuff, then YOU HAVE TO do it. For instance when you answer a question, you zip off one short sentence, but in grade 8 you should be writing 10 sentences for one question " He said " but mom that's because I am lazy " . > > Ah, he even admits it. So what do you do with that?? What's worked in the past? You reinforce him and then he does more. Your praise him and he gives more. > > But it's like talking to a wall trying to ask for this. > > AS for the food? Not going anywhere. The principal is even not going for it, they are sweeping it under the carpet and I can't get anywhere with it as Adam is now refusing to eat his snacks so they are telling me " he doesn't want it Debby " . > > Forget it. I give up. We will deal with this and see how it goes. > > Deb > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Hi Deb, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with Adam's teacher. I will say that I had a teacher when I was in high school who was also very difficult with the eating in class issue (even though it was clearly states in the IEP). All it took was me passing out in his class once b/c of low blood sugar, and he never said anything about me eating in class again. I'm not necessarily advocating this, but I was incredibly stubborn and willful in high school and knew what would happen if I didn't eat for a certain amount of time. My parents were not pleased, but it got the job done! ~Hillary 23, RSS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Well Deb, that just figures! We have a school right across the road from us and it is slated to close in 2007 when Noah is supposed to be going into SK. Right now alot of the teachers know all my kids and alot of our family health history etc and I know that I would have good support (mind you we just got a new principal this year too and well that speaks for itself ... setting new boundaries, making changes to make her mark blah blah blah). Anyway if we do decide to put him into JK next year we will be going thru the whole process and then will have to repeat it again the next year for the new school who won't know us from a hole in the ground. I'm dreading that but trying very hard not to dwell on it as that is 2 years away and there are more pressing issues right now. That is awful that the very same year that Adam gets the dud of a teacher there is also a new principal who is unsupportive and she probably doesn't know what end is up and is therefore making the wrong decisions or well she just ... you know. The teacher probably woudn't be pulling this crap with the old principal! I'm glad that you, at the very least, have this place to vent and us to feel for you! Hopefully the going out of the class will get things going and make it better. Will Adam feel like he can eat when he's with the other person? We'll help you through this! Dawna > > > > Hello all > > Well I had the meeting this morning with Adam's teacher, principal > and other special ed. teachers. > > The man did NOT think it inappropriate of him to say to everyone " I > read Adam's IEP yesterday when Debby gave it to me and...... " > > We are at the end of October!! It's in his file!!! And he only read > it yesterday because I went and got it from the office and copied it > for him!??!!!???? > > > > Long and short of it is this man did exactly what I expected. > Yesterday he FOLLOWED the IEP, I know because Adam told me he got > a " job of responsibility " yesterday and he was so excited that he was > given one. What was the job you ask?? Ready for this??? He was asked > to get something for the teacher off his desk!!!! HELLO????? > Whatever, it's a lost cause. > > > > It is obvious the man does not want Adam in his room, does not want > to deal with him nor does he want to have to work with him. So when > it was suggested perhaps he should be withdrawn to another class to > do his work, I agreed. Adam does not need that, he needs what every > other teacher has done for 9 years. But fine, I figure it gets him > away from the man who is constantly yelling at him. He doesn't want > him there, fine, I will allow him out. I stood on my head though and > said this should be a gradual thing. Adam spends 5 minutes of the > math lesson in the grade 8 class then goes out to work somewhere > else. In 2 weeks, he stays for 10 minutes then leaves, a few weeks > later, he stays for 15 minutes etc. He CAN do this, he just is > choosing not to. > > > > This way, he can have what he needs to succeed. His work will be > chunked into manageable parts (for Adam, and I don't know why!!!!, > but he needs to be told..... " do question 1 " and then when it's > done " great Adam, now let's see if you can do 2, and if you can't > I'll do 2 and then you do 3 " etc.) Fine, the other special ed. > teacher will do this for him. She will allow him to use his lap top > and she will make sure he gets short breaks. I have decided he will > probably never run into such a teacher again (not to this extreme; > and if he does in high school?? I can demand a change in classes; I'm > not doing the battle now) I'll take the easy way out. I could force > the man to HAVE to follow his IEP, will he?? No of course not, and > that will only lead to Adam getting incredibly frustrated and then he > will act out and that will get his teacher mad and then Adam will act > up more. And it's not worth it. We just have to " make do " this year > and start fresh next year in high school. > > This guy just doesn't get it. He doesn't and he never will. That's > the beginning and end of it. > > > > UGH. But I am glad it is over. Adam will benefit. He's not happy > about it, I told him on our way home now for lunch, but I told him > that this is happening because of the way he behaves. You know what > Adam said? " Mom I'm not retarded you know " . I said " well Adam, you > are acting like you can't do the work, I don't agree with the word > retarded but that is what you are making the other teachers THINK you > are because you are refusing to work. If you want them to KNOW you > can do this stuff, then YOU HAVE TO do it. For instance when you > answer a question, you zip off one short sentence, but in grade 8 you > should be writing 10 sentences for one question " He said " but mom > that's because I am lazy " . > > > > Ah, he even admits it. So what do you do with that?? What's worked > in the past? You reinforce him and then he does more. Your praise him > and he gives more. > > > > But it's like talking to a wall trying to ask for this. > > > > AS for the food? Not going anywhere. The principal is even not > going for it, they are sweeping it under the carpet and I can't get > anywhere with it as Adam is now refusing to eat his snacks so they > are telling me " he doesn't want it Debby " . > > > > Forget it. I give up. We will deal with this and see how it goes. > > > > Deb > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 Deb - I'll respond off-line. But, I think Adam is a LOT smarter than he's even letting on with you. I'm glad this is " over " though. I think you have both struggled so much so far this year and it's just not fair. You have done a fantastic job as his advocate and you should be really proud of yourself. Don't think of this as a failure - and Adam shouldn't either - actually - it sounds to me that this is a good ending for all of you. Talk to you soon. - H > > Hello all > Well I had the meeting this morning with Adam's teacher, principal and other special ed. teachers. > The man did NOT think it inappropriate of him to say to everyone " I read Adam's IEP yesterday when Debby gave it to me and...... " > We are at the end of October!! It's in his file!!! And he only read it yesterday because I went and got it from the office and copied it for him!??!!!???? > > Long and short of it is this man did exactly what I expected. Yesterday he FOLLOWED the IEP, I know because Adam told me he got a " job of responsibility " yesterday and he was so excited that he was given one. What was the job you ask?? Ready for this??? He was asked to get something for the teacher off his desk!!!! HELLO????? Whatever, it's a lost cause. > > It is obvious the man does not want Adam in his room, does not want to deal with him nor does he want to have to work with him. So when it was suggested perhaps he should be withdrawn to another class to do his work, I agreed. Adam does not need that, he needs what every other teacher has done for 9 years. But fine, I figure it gets him away from the man who is constantly yelling at him. He doesn't want him there, fine, I will allow him out. I stood on my head though and said this should be a gradual thing. Adam spends 5 minutes of the math lesson in the grade 8 class then goes out to work somewhere else. In 2 weeks, he stays for 10 minutes then leaves, a few weeks later, he stays for 15 minutes etc. He CAN do this, he just is choosing not to. > > This way, he can have what he needs to succeed. His work will be chunked into manageable parts (for Adam, and I don't know why!!!!, but he needs to be told..... " do question 1 " and then when it's done " great Adam, now let's see if you can do 2, and if you can't I'll do 2 and then you do 3 " etc.) Fine, the other special ed. teacher will do this for him. She will allow him to use his lap top and she will make sure he gets short breaks. I have decided he will probably never run into such a teacher again (not to this extreme; and if he does in high school?? I can demand a change in classes; I'm not doing the battle now) I'll take the easy way out. I could force the man to HAVE to follow his IEP, will he?? No of course not, and that will only lead to Adam getting incredibly frustrated and then he will act out and that will get his teacher mad and then Adam will act up more. And it's not worth it. We just have to " make do " this year and start fresh next year in high school. > This guy just doesn't get it. He doesn't and he never will. That's the beginning and end of it. > > UGH. But I am glad it is over. Adam will benefit. He's not happy about it, I told him on our way home now for lunch, but I told him that this is happening because of the way he behaves. You know what Adam said? " Mom I'm not retarded you know " . I said " well Adam, you are acting like you can't do the work, I don't agree with the word retarded but that is what you are making the other teachers THINK you are because you are refusing to work. If you want them to KNOW you can do this stuff, then YOU HAVE TO do it. For instance when you answer a question, you zip off one short sentence, but in grade 8 you should be writing 10 sentences for one question " He said " but mom that's because I am lazy " . > > Ah, he even admits it. So what do you do with that?? What's worked in the past? You reinforce him and then he does more. Your praise him and he gives more. > > But it's like talking to a wall trying to ask for this. > > AS for the food? Not going anywhere. The principal is even not going for it, they are sweeping it under the carpet and I can't get anywhere with it as Adam is now refusing to eat his snacks so they are telling me " he doesn't want it Debby " . > > Forget it. I give up. We will deal with this and see how it goes. > > Deb > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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