RE: yet another janice inquiry

[Guest guest]

ok as many of you have gotten to know me through the boards, i sometimes get

philosophical

delete now if you hate that stuff

otherwise bear with me

are we ourselves prejudice against obese people? have we internalized the

self loathing so much that now that we are smaller, we have turned it

outward?

how many of us who have reached goal date obese men/women?

just more brain cobwebs dusting off

janice

ONLY 100 pounds

[Guest guest]

My motto in life: " It matters not how you love, or who you love, but THAT

you love. " That has been my philosophy for a lot longer than I have been

thinner.

Jac

Friends are angels who lift you up, when your wings have forgotten how to

fly.

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/XXXFARMPAINTS

mail to: jholdaway@...

ONLY 100 pounds

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

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[Guest guest]

I am sometimes. I find myself wanting to tell them about the surgery.

Also, I cringe whenever I see obese people eating fast food or other

really unhealthy stuff but don't really think about it when I see thin

people eating it. Of course, I keep it all to myself. Also, I am working

on my daughter.. She just turned 4 and doesn't totally understand yet

about how it's not nice to talk about people... She'll say something

like (pointing), " Mommy, you used to be really fat, like that lady " and

my response is, " You're right Joanne, but I think I was actually bigger

than her " -- whether I was or not. My daughter isn't trying to be cruel,

and isn't cruel, but she is trying to wrap her brain around me changing

so much. We talk about how and why people are fat or skinny once in a

while, in a very non-judgmental way.

Z

Open RNY 09/17/01

http://www.ziobro.us

RE: yet another janice inquiry

ok as many of you have gotten to know me through the boards, i sometimes

get philosophical

delete now if you hate that stuff

otherwise bear with me

are we ourselves prejudice against obese people? have we internalized

the self loathing so much that now that we are smaller, we have turned

it outward?

how many of us who have reached goal date obese men/women?

just more brain cobwebs dusting off

janice

[Guest guest]

> are we ourselves prejudice against obese people? have we internalized

> the self loathing so much that now that we are smaller, we have turned

> it outward?

> how many of us who have reached goal date obese men/women?

Well, I don't date, because I'm married. But the only other man I am remotely

attracted to at the moment weighs at least 400 pounds, probably more. I keep

debating whether to bring up WLS to him. He has a federal job and good

insurance, and I'm sure he'd be approved barring other unknown medical

conditions that would prevent it. But I'd never want him to think that it's

because I find him fat -- it's because I want to keep him around as a friend

until we're both old.

I don't think I ever went through self-loathing, or if I did, it was so long ago

that it's buried somewhere. I always believed I was attractive enough, even when

I was 300 pounds, and I never lacked for dates in high school or college. I was

married 4 times, so that says I wasn't good at relationships, but a couple of

other people thought I was worth having even when I was big.

If anything, I think I am less attractive than I have ever been, and I don't

expect anyone to even notice me. I've regained, but I'm not huge -- I just got

funny looking in the weight loss, and look much older than my age, I think. I'm

frequently mistaken for my husband's mother, and my 12-year-old daughter has

been asked if she's having a fun day with Grandma more than once. (She gets

terribly defensive of me!

Odd.. when I was huge (and I was truly huge) I wore makeup and had my hair done,

and dressed as well as possible under the circumstances. Now, I don't even own

makeup, keep my hair short so I don't have to mess with it, and jeans and

t-shirts are my preferred attire. Maybe that's who I always was, but I tried

harder before. Don't know.

See Janice, now you've got ME dusting off the mental shelves!

~~ Lyn

[Guest guest]

Being married, I can't address dating the obese, but will tell that

the answer is probably not. I never dated an overweight person when

I was normal weighted or obese, and even my hubby is a body builder.

As for discriminating against the obese, no, I know that I do not do

so now. In fact, I go out of my way to be polite, and make direct

eye contact and say something nice as I know so many avoid eye

contact or talk to the obese. In my own way, I'm trying to let them

know someone cares. But this is since I was in the same shoes.

Honestly, I'm sure that before I became obese, I probably avoided eye

contact with the obese too and felt uncomfortable. Its amazing that

once you walk in someone else's shoes its a whole different story.

Cindy in Va

lap RNY 2/8/02

> ok as many of you have gotten to know me through the boards, i

sometimes get

> philosophical

>

> delete now if you hate that stuff

>

> otherwise bear with me

>

> are we ourselves prejudice against obese people? have we

internalized the

> self loathing so much that now that we are smaller, we have turned

it

> outward?

> how many of us who have reached goal date obese men/women?

>

> just more brain cobwebs dusting off

>

> janice

>

> -----

[Guest guest]

>

> are we ourselves prejudice against obese people? have we

internalized the

> self loathing so much that now that we are smaller, we have turned

it

> outward?

************** I do think about " us " differently. I feel as if I

KNOW them/us. And I AM one of us, and I want to help them/us. When I

run out of patience is when one of us is still in denial. I just

don't focus my energy there. I will encourage anyone who wants out of

prison, but I can't stand there with a mouthful of platitudes for

someone who does not acknowledge they are IN prison. If that makes

any sense.

> how many of us who have reached goal date obese men/women?

************ Um, Don frowns on my dating anyone.

>

> just more brain cobwebs dusting off

>

> janice

>

> ONLY 100 pounds

>

>

>

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

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