Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 Jacque Holdaway you just hit the nail on the head. You have to change your habits, and modify your behaviour. You have to replace bad habits with good habits. You may have reasons that caused the bad habits to start and you can blame those reasons but after you recognize them and don't do anything about them it becomes your fault. Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 I wanted to answer your post, Robin. Wheat thins, Ritz or and cookies or crackers or my comfort food. I have to completely avoid them because I can't stop with just one or even a few. If my family wants them for soup or peanut butter and crackers they know they better lock them up. Also, after eating them I get really depressed. That's an awful feeling. Everyone has to find the foods that are not for them. Trial and experience will let them know. Just don't even tempt yourself by saying I can just eat one. I know from to many failures. I hope this helps. Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 In a message dated 1/17/2004 8:49:44 AM Eastern Standard Time, dollgirl48@... writes: You may have reasons that caused the bad habits to start and you can blame those reasons but after you recognize them and don't do anything about them it becomes your fault ======================== I guess I am just a big fat failure then. I can't get the carbs off my back. I go into a massive panic if I run out of popcorn. I feel like I am literally going to die and the only way to save my life is to eat. My sister is slowly dying of Cancer, my daughter spun out on ice and ran into a ditch on the NY thruway (she is fine), my DH can't hold down a job, my job is always iffy, I have gained 10 lbs and yesterday my cleaning lady was angry because the sink was full of dishes and all but called me a slob and now you tell me it is all my fault. It is my fault and that is the way it is. Fay Bayuk **300/171 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 In a message dated 1/17/04 8:13:40 AM Central Standard Time, fbayuk@... writes: > now you tell me it is all my > fault. It is my fault and that is the way it is. > ---------------- I didn't interpret this to mean that the SITUATIONS are our " fault, " but rather, that the way that we react to them is our responsibility. We may be in the dark for a long time about the fact that we are eating in response to those situations -- that we are using food as a type of medication -- or that we have gotten caught up in a stimulus/response cycle -- but when we do become " enlightened " , when we do make the connection but decide to continue to respond in the same manner, then we begin to bear responsibility for that action. We either have to try to eliminate the situations that provoke the response -- or learn a new response to that stimulus. Most of the time, removing the stimulus is not an option -- we can't control things that happen TO us. Food, especially carbohydrates release endorphins in the brain -- which help calm us and help us cope with difficult situations, or make us feel good just because we WANT to feel good. For those who have gotten SOME control over their food demons, it has meant finding a new activity that releases those endorphins. For some people it is exercise; for some, sex; for some, shopping; for some, an enjoyable hobby or relaxing activity. This is NOT an easy thing to do. When we have responded in a particular way for many years we actually effect the neural pathways in the brain -- we make physical changes in our brains. To create new pathways is not impossible, but it is hard. " Fault " is a loaded word. Responsibility, perhaps, is a " better " word. Beth Houston, TX VBG - Dr. Srungaram 05/31/00 - 314 lbs. 11/01/02 - Abdominoplasty 11/29/02 - 160 lbs. 5'10 " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 In a message dated 1/17/2004 10:30:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, jholdaway@... writes: Fault is not in my vocabulary. Rehab and reform are. ========================================= Like your language, planning on taking a course in it when I finish whining 101. Fay Bayuk **300/171 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 In a message dated 1/17/2004 10:41:45 AM Eastern Standard Time, chryssnj@... writes: You have come so far (I saw that great pic of you) do not let someone else's ignorance get to you. ==================== I am woman, hear me roar. Fay Bayuk **300/171 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 yeah, what she said... warmly, laura In a message dated 1/17/04 10:30:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, jholdaway@... writes: > Fay, I am going to kick your butt. Where are you, so I can come do it? > There is no such thing as failure (and will you send your cleaning lady to > me? Then she will love you). > You are perfectly normal. SOMETIMES, LIFE IS IN THE DITCH. When it's in the > ditch, you call a tow truck. I'll be your tow truck. I'm not cheap, but I'm > reasonable. > First, THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE YOUR LIFE IS NOT TO EAT. Period. Eat a pickle, > and take up knitting. You know that. I'm sorry about your sister. I truly > am. But YOU can't fix that. Your daughter had an accident, she's okay, but > YOU COULDN'T PREVENT IT. Jobs come and go. You survive. > If you are just whining, then whine away. You are entitled. And If no one > else wants to hear it, I do. But I'm still going to kick your butt. You're a > wonderful friend, and a mentor to many. > Fault is not in my vocabulary. Rehab and reform are. > You are valuable, and you are loved. Put that in your pocket, and carry it > with you. > > Jac > Friends are angels who lift you up, when your wings have forgotten how to > fly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 Fay, I am going to kick your butt. Where are you, so I can come do it? There is no such thing as failure (and will you send your cleaning lady to me? Then she will love you). You are perfectly normal. SOMETIMES, LIFE IS IN THE DITCH. When it's in the ditch, you call a tow truck. I'll be your tow truck. I'm not cheap, but I'm reasonable. First, THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE YOUR LIFE IS NOT TO EAT. Period. Eat a pickle, and take up knitting. You know that. I'm sorry about your sister. I truly am. But YOU can't fix that. Your daughter had an accident, she's okay, but YOU COULDN'T PREVENT IT. Jobs come and go. You survive. If you are just whining, then whine away. You are entitled. And If no one else wants to hear it, I do. But I'm still going to kick your butt. You're a wonderful friend, and a mentor to many. Fault is not in my vocabulary. Rehab and reform are. You are valuable, and you are loved. Put that in your pocket, and carry it with you. Jac Friends are angels who lift you up, when your wings have forgotten how to fly. http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/ http://members.cox.net/XXXFARMPAINTS mail to: jholdaway@... Re: Digest Number 2876 In a message dated 1/17/2004 8:49:44 AM Eastern Standard Time, dollgirl48@... writes: You may have reasons that caused the bad habits to start and you can blame those reasons but after you recognize them and don't do anything about them it becomes your fault ======================== I guess I am just a big fat failure then. I can't get the carbs off my back. I go into a massive panic if I run out of popcorn. I feel like I am literally going to die and the only way to save my life is to eat. My sister is slowly dying of Cancer, my daughter spun out on ice and ran into a ditch on the NY thruway (she is fine), my DH can't hold down a job, my job is always iffy, I have gained 10 lbs and yesterday my cleaning lady was angry because the sink was full of dishes and all but called me a slob and now you tell me it is all my fault. It is my fault and that is the way it is. Fay Bayuk **300/171 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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