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Re: Life Struggles - Long

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, you are able to express your feelings so well. You received some good

info, please open your mind and heart. Don't make big decisions in a

depressed state of mind, heal yourself and then the decisions will be easier.

Fay Bayuk

**300/168

10/23/01

Dr.

Open RNY 150 cm

Click for My Profile

http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008

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,

I can certainly hear your pain. I have been in a similar boat on

and off for some 20 years. Their are a few things that have always

helped me. One of the things that I realized was that if I can help

others, I don't have as much time to worry about me or my problems. I

have volunteered with a mental health/mental retardation agency as a

mentor. I have volunteered to deliver Meals on Wheels on Thanksgiving,

Christmas, and New Years. I have baked brownies and cookies for a local

fire department. I volunteered one afternoon a week at a children's

hospital. It is amazing the transition in my mood. I discovered that I

wasn't as lonely or depressed. I realized that everyone has their own

burden to carry. I realized I had some value and ability to help others.

It doesn't have to cost a whole lot and it is something that you maybe

able to include your kids.

The other thing I did was to go and get medication for my

depression. I hated having to do it. I thought it would make me weak.

What I finally had to realize was that I would do the same thing for my

diabetes so why should my mental health be any different. It didn't make

the problems go away but it certainly helped the thought process. It

helped that I wasn't overwhelmed. I also journal some when I get totally

stressed especially if I can't talk to someone right away. Hope this

helps.

Lori Owen - Denton, Texas

SRVG 7/16/01

Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce

479/356/hoping for close to 200

On Thu, 25 Dec 2003 07:34:00 -0800 (PST) P

writes:

> I don't need anyone preaching to

> me, but do need your prayers and if you have any good

> thoughts on what I can try to do to become happier

> then I would love to hear it.

>

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Dear ,

Sending warmth and love your way on what is often the most stressful

holiday of the year.

I was going to send some suggestions, and then I read Lori's note

(below), and she said precisely the things that I would have said,

only, from personal experience on her part, she said them better than

I could ever have done. In a nutshell: help others, and it will help

you feel so much better yourself, and seek medical help and possible

medications, if only for a while.

I cannot stress how important it may be for you to seek the medical

help, because what you wrote sounds like clinical depression, and I

am afraid that you could do harm to yourself if you do not get some

" mid-course correction. " Also, we must keep up with vitamins and

nutrition or risk long-term consequences that are extremely difficult

to reverse. I have put back about five pounds since my gall bladder

removal at the end of October and orders to avoid strenuous exercise

for six weeks. I am back to the gym now, but the weight gain has me

scared. So, I understand a little bit about how you might feel about

your own regain.

All the above is sent with caring and concern. I hope that when you

read it, it doesn't feel as though you are being preached to. Each

and every member of our WLS " club " is so important to all the rest of

us, that we sometimes have to risk offending in order to help.

Merry Christmas,

Steve

At 10:35 AM -0600 12/25/03, loriowen@... wrote:

>From: loriowen@...

>

>,

> I can certainly hear your pain. I have been in a similar boat on

>and off for some 20 years. Their are a few things that have always

>helped me. One of the things that I realized was that if I can help

>others, I don't have as much time to worry about me or my problems.

>...It is amazing the transition in my mood. I discovered that I

>wasn't as lonely or depressed. I realized that everyone has their own

>burden to carry. I realized I had some value and ability to help others.

> It doesn't have to cost a whole lot and it is something that you maybe

>able to include your kids.

> The other thing I did was to go and get medication for my

>depression. I hated having to do it. I thought it would make me weak.

>What I finally had to realize was that I would do the same thing for my

>diabetes so why should my mental health be any different. It didn't make

>the problems go away but it certainly helped the thought process. It

>helped that I wasn't overwhelmed. I also journal some when I get totally

>stressed especially if I can't talk to someone right away. Hope this

>helps.

>...

>On Thu, 25 Dec 2003 07:34:00 -0800 (PST) P

>writes:

>> I don't need anyone preaching to

>> me, but do need your prayers and if you have any good

>> thoughts on what I can try to do to become happier

>> then I would love to hear it.

> >

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,

Lori and Steve said it so well. Please know we are all here for you

and care for you. Please listen to their suggestions and get

yourself help. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Diane

LAP RNY 9/99

> >From: loriowen@j...

> >

> >,

> > I can certainly hear your pain. I have been in a

similar boat on

> >and off for some 20 years. Their are a few things that have

always

> >helped me. One of the things that I realized was that if I can

help

> >others, I don't have as much time to worry about me or my

problems.

> >...It is amazing the transition in my mood. I discovered that I

> >wasn't as lonely or depressed. I realized that everyone has

their own

> >burden to carry. I realized I had some value and ability to help

others.

> > It doesn't have to cost a whole lot and it is something that

you maybe

> >able to include your kids.

> > The other thing I did was to go and get medication for my

> >depression. I hated having to do it. I thought it would make me

weak.

> >What I finally had to realize was that I would do the same thing

for my

> >diabetes so why should my mental health be any different. It

didn't make

> >the problems go away but it certainly helped the thought

process. It

> >helped that I wasn't overwhelmed. I also journal some when I get

totally

> >stressed especially if I can't talk to someone right away. Hope

this

> >helps.

> >...

> >On Thu, 25 Dec 2003 07:34:00 -0800 (PST) P <lisap061970@y...>

> >writes:

> >> I don't need anyone preaching to

> >> me, but do need your prayers and if you have any good

> >> thoughts on what I can try to do to become happier

> >> then I would love to hear it.

> > >

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,

I can hear your pain. I don't exactly know your circumstances but I can

sympathize. My first husband left in September and it was a hard Christmas

season that year. Finances made things even more difficult. I sought

counseling for my children to deal with their loss. I did as well so that I

would be strong enough for them. I was put on antidepressants myself, due to

situational depression. It was to help me think more clearly. It did not

change my views or who I was. It was only to help me get the strength to do

what I needed. Life dealt my family some pretty tough things in life for the

next three years.

I took each day as it came and did not focus on what was next. I enrolled in

college, got my degree and began working. It was not easy with three kids

aged 6, 9 and 10 but they were my inspiration. I drew each breath in for

them. Their father failed them and still does. (I never have said this to

them.) I had to be a survivor for them.

You will find that if you put your trust in God or your belief of a superior

being, you will not fall. You will make mistakes and things may go not as

planned. Trust me though, the daylight will come back. Each day gets easier.

You must put yourself and your children above all else in your life. Seek

help in any way you need it. Believe me, there are people with gold in their

hearts that will help you to help yourself. Medication is not the answer for

everyone but I would seek a professional opinion. Why suffer emotionally to

such an extreme when there are other possibilities. You will come through

this. You only need to ask for help where you need it. There are really

angles on earth. Watch closely because they will help you along your way.

Sincerely,

Dawn

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