Need HELP and advice..I am gaining my weight back -long post

[Guest guest]

Let me begin by saying that I am very grateful for this surgery and

this online forum. Thanks in advance for your insight and advice.

I was one year post op Nov 14th. I lost 130 lbs which was 38 from

the surgeons goal of 140. I am 5'4 " . The benefits are too numerous

to mention, but the main one is that I no longer have to inject

insulin 2x a day. I started a support group in august here in the

small rural community which I moved to 4 years ago. There are

absolutely NO services for people who have had this surgery and out

of gratitude for my second chance at life, I felt compelled to offer

it..that all being said here is the problem. PLEASE HELP!

In the past month I have gained 7 lbs. That means that NOW I have

45 lbs to lose to get to goal. PLEASE HELP! I have good days, bad

days, and really horrible days. I find that I can eat so much more

now. I know the pouch rules and know that I am to excercize every

day..despite this,I do just the opposite. On REALLY HORRIBLE days,

I eat past full, I graze, drink with or too soon after meals, sugat

calls my name and I eat it along with way too many arbs...EVERYTHING

that is counter productive to getting to goal. I feel that I have

surpassed my window an will not be able to do this. PLEASE HELP!

I had a therapist pre-op and shortly post op until she terminated me

when I needed her the most via letter because of " alliance issues "

(her words)..I still do not know what that means.. The nearest

therapist is 60 miles one way, consequently I am relying on

the " experts " here to lend some insight and advice to help me get

motivaed and back on track. I want to reach my goal weight in 2004.

I turn 45 on the 24th of next month. PLEASE HELP!

I have struggled with the notion that perhaps I am scared to reach

goal weight,etc, etc, I have been overweight all of my life.. but I

don't think that is it because the thought of going back to where I

was scares the bejezzus outta me and makes me nauseous at the

thought. I know that I have a disease (food addiction) and that I

will struggle the rest of my life, so if I know all this in my head

why can't I just make that connection and do it and get to goal..

Thanks in advance and God Bless

[Guest guest]

, IMO. And that's all it is. My opinion. I am nearly 22 years post

op. First, get your butt to a doctor, and discuss depression with him/her.

You MAY (and maybe not) need antidepressants. You KNOW you have issues that

require therapy. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been seeing a therapist. BRAVO

FOR YOU!!! Depression is a big trigger for over-eaters. It is for me.

Second, I don't know what your exercise schedule is, but I don't have one. I

walk. When I get in " one of those moods " I get outside and work. Of course,

I have a horse farm, and I ALWAYS have work to do. <VBG> But walking for 15

minutes will kick you metabolism into high gear, and give you an emotional

" high. " I walk, and I work, and I sing, and I talk to myself and my God. If

anyone heard me, they would lock me in the loony bin. LOL. But my God and I,

we know where I am. He will know where you are, too.

And quite beating yourself up, and don't set deadlines. You may reach goal

in 45 days, you may not. In the words of AA, " One day at a time. " You are

going to do just what you can, JUST FOR TODAY.

JUST FOR TODAY:

I will watch what I eat. I will avoid the things I know are bad for me. But

if I fail, it is just for today.

JUST FOR TODAY:

I will take a walk, and take time to smell the roses.

JUST FOR TODAY:

I will take time for ME. Because I know that I cannot take care of anyone

else, if I cannot care for myself.

And, JUST FOR TODAY:

I will rely on friends who know where I am coming from, turn to them for

solace and advice, and know they will not judge me for my frailties. That's

what we are here for.

Not just for today, but for always.

Jac

Friends are angels who lift you up, when your wings have forgotten how to

fly.

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/XXXFARMPAINTS

mail to: jholdaway@...

Need HELP and advice..I am gaining my weight

back -long post

Let me begin by saying that I am very grateful for this surgery and

this online forum. Thanks in advance for your insight and advice.

I was one year post op Nov 14th. I lost 130 lbs which was 38 from

the surgeons goal of 140. I am 5'4 " . The benefits are too numerous

to mention, but the main one is that I no longer have to inject

insulin 2x a day. I started a support group in august here in the

small rural community which I moved to 4 years ago. There are

absolutely NO services for people who have had this surgery and out

of gratitude for my second chance at life, I felt compelled to offer

it..that all being said here is the problem. PLEASE HELP!

In the past month I have gained 7 lbs. That means that NOW I have

45 lbs to lose to get to goal. PLEASE HELP! I have good days, bad

days, and really horrible days. I find that I can eat so much more

now. I know the pouch rules and know that I am to excercize every

day..despite this,I do just the opposite. On REALLY HORRIBLE days,

I eat past full, I graze, drink with or too soon after meals, sugat

calls my name and I eat it along with way too many arbs...EVERYTHING

that is counter productive to getting to goal. I feel that I have

surpassed my window an will not be able to do this. PLEASE HELP!

I had a therapist pre-op and shortly post op until she terminated me

when I needed her the most via letter because of " alliance issues "

(her words)..I still do not know what that means.. The nearest

therapist is 60 miles one way, consequently I am relying on

the " experts " here to lend some insight and advice to help me get

motivaed and back on track. I want to reach my goal weight in 2004.

I turn 45 on the 24th of next month. PLEASE HELP!

I have struggled with the notion that perhaps I am scared to reach

goal weight,etc, etc, I have been overweight all of my life.. but I

don't think that is it because the thought of going back to where I

was scares the bejezzus outta me and makes me nauseous at the

thought. I know that I have a disease (food addiction) and that I

will struggle the rest of my life, so if I know all this in my head

why can't I just make that connection and do it and get to goal..

Thanks in advance and God Bless

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

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[Guest guest]

, just a few thoughts here...First, you may want to think

about adjusting your goal weight. Have you ever thought that it may

be too low for you to #1, get there, and #2, maintain it? The

surgeons choose these goal weights by looking at your height and what

the charts say. For some who have been overweight their entire

lives, I often think that these goals are not realistic. For

example, I stopped losing (on purpose) 15 pounds from the goal set by

the surgeon. Why? First I was a size 10 already. Did I really need

to be a size 6 or 8?? And I LOVE to eat. Guess how many more

calories a day I get to eat being a size 10 than a size 6?? And

because I love to eat, if I had lost to a size 6, I would have to

give up my daily treats...not worth it.

My second point, reference your weight gain and the lack of

motivation to exercise and the overeating and grazing, I will tell

you that the more you do it, the worse you will feel. Its a horrible

cycle, eat more, gain more, get depressed so eat more to assuage the

guilt, gain more...oiy!! I really liked a previous post by Jac where

she said " just for today " . Well, my motto is " Just do it " borrowed

from Nike. When I feel too tired to exercise (or any of a million

excuses I come up with), I put the excuses aside and JUST DO IT.

When I finish, I always feel better, its a small sense of control

that I did it. And with each small sense of control, you get a bit

stronger. Drink an extra bottle of water a day, graze on a protein

shake or two (is that grazing?!) instead of whatever it is your

grazing on. Make small changes-have nuts for a snack instead of

candy/chips. Take this one small step at a time. If you try to

change too much at once, it can be overwhelming and easier to avoid

than to do, so if you take it in small doses, one step at a time, it

can be easier.

Also, this support group you started. Why not make dates to exercise

together, even if its just a brisk walk?? Or set up a call list so

that when you feel like munching you call someone instead and chat

until the urge to eat is over with.

Sweetie, we are here for you. Realize though that you have the power

to turn this around and no one else can do it for you. Take

control. You can do it..just do it.

Cindy in Va

lap RNY 2/8/02

>>

> In the past month I have gained 7 lbs. That means that NOW I have

> 45 lbs to lose to get to goal. PLEASE HELP! I have good days, bad

> days, and really horrible days. I find that I can eat so much more

> now. I know the pouch rules and know that I am to excercize every

> day..despite this,I do just the opposite. On REALLY HORRIBLE days,

> I eat past full, I graze, drink with or too soon after meals, sugat

> calls my name and I eat it along with way too many

arbs...EVERYTHING

> that is counter productive to getting to goal. I feel that I have

> surpassed my window an will not be able to do this. PLEASE HELP!

>

>2004.

> I turn 45 on the 24th of next month. PLEASE HELP!

>

> I have struggled with the notion that perhaps I am scared to reach

> goal weight,etc, etc, I have been overweight all of my life.. but I

> don't think that is it because the thought of going back to where I

> was scares the bejezzus outta me and makes me nauseous at the

> thought. I know that I have a disease (food addiction) and that I

> will struggle the rest of my life, so if I know all this in my head

> why can't I just make that connection and do it and get to goal..

> Thanks in advance and God Bless

[Guest guest]

The thing I have noticed being 2yrs as of 2/28/04 is that the appetite returns

with a vengeance. Though at times, it is also nonexistent. It depends entirely

on your mood, hormone levels, stress, food issues, etc. Whatever your

particular set of problems, the best thing you can do is not be tough on

yourself, as that adds more stress, thereby repeating the cycle. That isn't to

say you shouldn't be accountable, no, but you shouldn't beat yourself down

either.

For me, the only thing that keeps me in line during these episodes of what I

like to call " temporary insanity " or gross indifference might be a better term

is

eating low carb/no sugar. A diet much like Atkins, South Beach, Somersize,

etc. that gets sugar as far out of the picture as possible.

I truly believe that sugar is evil. It has no good value, unless fattening

people

up is considered a value. And I'm not talking about table sugar here. I am

talking about good and bad sugars. To us, they're all the same. Plus, with

RNYs it seems like the body notes that it no longer absorbs meats and

vitamins so when you send sugar and loads of carbs down the pike, which

are easily and readily absorbed at any part of the track, the body capitalizes

on the supply of cheap energy and creates a nice little cycle of satisfaction,

want, satisfaction, more want... until you are back to eating the way you did

pre-op. I am not saying that most of RNYers can handle junk food, but we all

know that eating carbs isn't tough to do, right?

For me, I have to concentrate hard on remembering that sugar and carbs are

the least valuable while protein shakes and good foods should be the most. I

hate that I like to eat crackers, or have the occasional bite of sugar. Last

night I

stood in the kitchen and had a cup of cornbread and milk. Loved the taste, but

hated how bad it made me feel. Why did I eat it? Because my grandfather

used to eat it all the time and give me bites. It reminded me of him. So now, I

justify putting this stuff in my mouth by saying it is to remember him, yeah, I

don't buy it now either. Then again, sugar and candy was never my addiction.

I was the carbaholic queen.

M

Amarillo, TX

> Let me begin by saying that I am very grateful for this surgery and

> this online forum. Thanks in advance for your insight and advice.

>

> I was one year post op Nov 14th. I lost 130 lbs which was 38 from

> the surgeons goal of 140. I am 5'4 " . The benefits are too numerous

> to mention, but the main one is that I no longer have to inject

> insulin 2x a day. I started a support group in august here in the

> small rural community which I moved to 4 years ago. There are

> absolutely NO services for people who have had this surgery and out

> of gratitude for my second chance at life, I felt compelled to offer

> it..that all being said here is the problem. PLEASE HELP!

>

> In the past month I have gained 7 lbs. That means that NOW I have

> 45 lbs to lose to get to goal. PLEASE HELP! I have good days, bad

> days, and really horrible days. I find that I can eat so much more

> now. I know the pouch rules and know that I am to excercize every

> day..despite this,I do just the opposite. On REALLY HORRIBLE days,

> I eat past full, I graze, drink with or too soon after meals, sugat

> calls my name and I eat it along with way too many arbs...EVERYTHING

> that is counter productive to getting to goal. I feel that I have

> surpassed my window an will not be able to do this. PLEASE HELP!

>

> I had a therapist pre-op and shortly post op until she terminated me

> when I needed her the most via letter because of " alliance issues "

> (her words)..I still do not know what that means.. The nearest

> therapist is 60 miles one way, consequently I am relying on

> the " experts " here to lend some insight and advice to help me get

> motivaed and back on track. I want to reach my goal weight in 2004.

> I turn 45 on the 24th of next month. PLEASE HELP!

>

> I have struggled with the notion that perhaps I am scared to reach

> goal weight,etc, etc, I have been overweight all of my life.. but I

> don't think that is it because the thought of going back to where I

> was scares the bejezzus outta me and makes me nauseous at the

> thought. I know that I have a disease (food addiction) and that I

> will struggle the rest of my life, so if I know all this in my head

> why can't I just make that connection and do it and get to goal..

> Thanks in advance and God Bless

[Guest guest]

I am very touched by all of the responses that I recieved back

from my post! What an incredibly, wonderful group of people!! Thank

you so very much for your inspiration, support, advice, input and

encouragement! It was just what I needed to get back on track. My

husband and I started on the South Beach plan yesterday. It really

helps to have a buddy also eating the way that we are supposed to.

I am down 2 lbs already from yesterday and " for today " I feel back

in control.

Regarding the therapist issue, you raised many issues that in fact

were going on..many times I felt that she was in over her head with

the whole bariatric thing. When we discussed the support group, she

offered her place for a meeting place ( for a monthly fee)..I went

to the local hospital and got a conferencer room (for free)..there

were assorted other things that made me question her ability to help

me..like more that several times, when she would go off on tagents

about her own issues and problems..at any rate..no great loss..I had

thought of terminating with her, but she beat me to the punch..I

think it was just the way that she did it tht had me reeling..

Again, thanks for all of your input..I will keep you posted on my

progress. And once again, much gratitude and thanks to you all!