Re: Re: Blast from the past..

[Guest guest]

Hi , do you think maybe part of your axiety over meeting your former

fiance might be alleviated if you told him over the phone about your weight

loss, so that makes it LESS of an issue for you? He will still have to deal

with what you tell him versus your physical reality, something for which he

cannot possibly be FULLY prepared for visually. But perhaps his knowing

beforehand will lessen your anxiety in this regard. ????? I know that's what

*I*

would do, also considering that you say he's a wonderful guy, so why play

headgames?

Whatever you do, I hope you have a wonderful experience!

Lucille

In a message dated 2/7/2004 11:09:07 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Graduate-OSSG writes:

>

>

> Hi Melty

> Thank you for your response. The reason for the breakup is that I am

> not Jewish and his family would never accept me. I wouldn't come between him

> and his family so I walked away. He is a wonderful man and I don't think I

> need

> to be worried about his motives. However, I am worried that my first

> reaction

> is to stuff my face because I am nervous about seeing him again.

> How do you guys handle the old habits of reaching for comfort foods

> when stress hits?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Lucille

I'm not sure I would consider this any sort of " headgame " . (except

maybe with myself) I haven't actually talked to him since long before my

surgery.

I just got an email saying he was coming to town on business and wants to see

me.

Its not a 'size' thing I am concerned with. He loved me 200lbs ago and

I know he still loves me. I have changed a lot since he saw me last and I

know it will be a surprise. Telling him before he got here was really only a

side

thought.

He's going to call me tonight so I am sure we will get into it. I

think I would be just as nervous if it were an old girlfriend from childhood or

anyone I haven't seen in five years.

susan

[Guest guest]

And as a gentile girl (Italian non-practicing Catholic) married for 25 years

going on 26 in March to a wonderful brilliant handsome exceptional devoted

nice (non-practicing) Jewish boy, I'd say Steve is giving excellent advice and I

hope, should & her former fiance want this, that it works out better for

her this time. Five years CAN make a difference ... who knows!?!? Now I

have never had the " religion " issue with my inlaws, nor has my husband had

them with my family (prolly because we are BOTH non-practicers who didn't have

children), but I respect the fact that this is important in some families, and

it can be very sad when this particular conflict arises.

Lucille

In a message dated 2/8/2004 8:01:25 AM Eastern Standard Time,

Graduate-OSSG writes:

> Re: Blast from the past..

>

> As a guy with a Jewish name, born and raised, but definitely not

> practicing, this upsets me no end. Not you, , but his family.

> I certainly cannot question what you did; it's your life and your

> business, and you acted " honorably. " But, if you should see him

> again, and if the sparks still fly, I'd advise that you take care of

> this time around. If his family cannot accept the fine person

> that you appear to be, then it is THEIR loss. But, don't let it be

> YOUR loss again, unless you want it to be....

Steve