Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 In a message dated 1/4/04 9:00:57 PM Central Standard Time, WRC@... writes: > Any words of comfort or words to help me maintain my sense of calmness with > > my decision? ----------- Bobbie, Just as you laid out, the level headed, intelligent woman in you knows that what you are doing is taking a reasonable risk -- your surgeon (the one whose opinion probably matters the most - next to your own) seems to be comfortable that doing these three procedures together in an 8 hour operation is reasonable. So you are right to listen to that levelheaded intelligent voice. That doesn't always quiet down those doubting voices, however. Especially since you had to use your " grown-up " self to take to task the nurse who did not initially do her job as instructed. I imagine that you are making yourself " pay " for standing up for yourself by hearing that younger, less confident internal voice that casts doubt on many of the things that you do. While having a doubting voice can sometimes save us from great harm, frequently we listen to it too often and hold back from our true desires and the opportunities that are presented to us. You HAVE approached this the right way -- you have listened to the doubts and addressed them -- you did not stick your fingers in your ears and sing " I can't hear you! " You made an informed decision to go for your desire here. I think that given the frequently common histories we have here, stemming from how life was as a morbidly obese person, we all tend to second guess ourselves way too much. We have been led to believe by society that we either aren't smart enough (how " dumb " do you have to be to let yourself get 100 pounds overweight, they say) or that we don't " deserve " to have the things we want (because we are " obviously " stupid or sub-par in the control department, we are less worthy than the thin " beautiful " people, they say). As we have begun to lose our weight, many of us are finally realizing that not only are those things not true now, but they never were. For some of it, it takes a REALLY LONG time to incorporate new messages into our heads. If other opinions will help you feel more confident in your decision, I for one, do not think that you are being unrealistic in planning your surgeries this way. Yes, it is is a lot to have done at one time, but really, is there any LESS risk if you were to have two or three separate surgeries, going under anesthesia each time? I also think that you STILL have the possibility of doing this on a 23 hour stay basis. Adding the panni revision should not hamper your initial recovery that much more -- if they are not tightening muscle your pain and ability to move should be reasonable. However, you MAY find that you do need an extra night in the hospital just to shake off the extra anesthesia. If you do, then so be it -- change of plans -- no failure on yours or anyone else's part, it's just what your body may require. But, remember, it is NOT a given. Try to set aside your doubting voice. Tell her as often as possible that you hear her concerns and are addressing them -- thank her for trying to take care of you, but firmly tell her that YOU are the adult and it is YOUR job to take care of her -- and you are doing so. I wish you a safe and speedy recovery. We will all be eager to hear about this part of your journey. Beth Houston, TX VBG - Dr. Srungaram 05/31/00 - 314 lbs. 11/01/02 - Abdominoplasty 11/29/02 - 160 lbs. 5'10 " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 Wow - Beth!!! You nailed it right on the head! The doubting voices I am hearing, I thought, were voices of caution, telling me beware, if it was on my mind so much, something was going to happen. They were scaring me horribly - as I thought they were trying to stear me away from all of this. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times! Bobbie Anchorage, AK Message: 1 Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2004 08:45:51 EST From: BethVBG@... Subject: Re: 8 Hour Surgery > <<While having a doubting voice can sometimes save us from great harm, > frequently we listen to it too often and hold back from our true desires and > > the opportunities that are presented to us. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 Sharon - You have an exceeding amount of nerve to personally reply to me and ADD to my concerns for my welfare. I asked for words of " comfort " or words to help me maintain my sense of " calmness with my decision " - not words to further add to my unease. How dare you! You do not know my medical history, nor that my surgeries have been deemed medically mandated as necessary and reconstructive. Vanity??? I think not!! Next time, I suggest you choose your words more carefully before you reply personally to someone with such toxic, uncaring verbage. I for one, am thankful I don't have the baggage you obviously have that allows me treat people asking for help, as you have. I do not mean to start any sort of hate thread by way of this email - but - Sharon, your email was totally unnecessary, albeit it was your opinion, it was uncalled for given my request! Bobbie Anchorage, AK <<Bobbie, here's my two cents, since you asked. I think, because you're a well-educated and level-headed woman, you know in your heart and head that this is an exceedingly dangerous thing that you're undertaking, and in the name of what ... your health or your vanity... Sharon in D.C.>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 Instead of reacting the way you did to an honest opinion you apparently did not want to hear, why not ask your surgeon for the names of a couple of anesthesologists with whom he works? They're the people who'll likely be keeping you alive after all; it's not like they're people who just walked in off the street. 8 hours is a lot of time to be on an operating table, even though you no longer represent the risks we all did as MO patients. Tell the anesthesologists exactly what the procedures are. If the experts are cool with it, you can be, too. /john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 anesthesiologist is what I meant to write, sorry. Re: Re: 8 Hour Surgery > Instead of reacting the way you did to an honest opinion you apparently did > not want to hear, why not ask your surgeon for the names of a couple of > anestheseologists with whom he works? They're the people who'll likely be > keeping you alive after all; it's not like they're people who just walked in > off the street. > > 8 hours is a lot of time to be on an operating table, even though you no > longer represent the risks we all did as MO patients. Tell the > anesthesologists exactly what the procedures are. > > If the experts are cool with it, you can be, too. > > /john > > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 - Thanks for your suggestion about the anesthesiologist ... I have two I will consult. Both have attended to me in the past. You're on the right track with that suggestion, so thanks for that, I appreciate your thoughts. With regard to my " reactionary " reply - I offer this thought to you. This is a member's only list. I believe the rules dictate you don't reply privately unless something is off-topic or you are invited to do so. Sharon was never invited to do so. That being said, it is my opinion that when list members reply privately (uninvited), they do it under the cover of darkness, in that, they suspect that in " private, " they may be provocational or simply rude (as they would not be in " public " ) and their intent, for whatever reason, is to blindside the recipient who does not have (in times of need) the support of the list. Bobbie Anchorage, AK > > Subject: Re: Re: 8 Hour Surgery > > <<...>Instead of reacting the way you did to an honest opinion you > apparently did > not want to hear ...> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 In a message dated 1/6/2004 3:15:39 PM Eastern Standard Time, rehab2@... writes: I believe the rules dictate you don't reply privately ==================================== Never heard of this rule, many times I reply privately, sometimes even on purpose. LOL Fay Bayuk **300/168 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 I was under the impression that we were supposed to reply privately unless the subject was of interest to everyone. I too was concerned about the 8 hours of surgery as that long is usually much harder on the patient, although in some cases (trauma etc) it is necessary. I am looking at a 6-7 hour surgery and not at all pleased with the thought as I know as an RN it is much more difficult for the patient. As far as Sharon replying privately, she may have hit the wrong button - I just did and if I had not checked, this post it would have come privately and that certainly was not my intent. Either way - good luck to you. Amber/FLRN Re: Re: 8 Hour Surgery > > <<...>Instead of reacting the way you did to an honest opinion you > apparently did > not want to hear ...> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 When I had my RNY, my 2 hour surgery turned out to last 8 hours because of unforeseen complications -- they found a tumor and had to wait for the pathologist to come in and for the biopsy. Other than being a bit disoriented when I woke up at 3 a.m. after a noon surgery, I had no ill effects from being under that long. Judy Lap Proximal RNY 7/23/02 Drs. and Rabkin/SF 54/5'3 " - 257/140 size 22/XXL - 6/S bmi 46/24 -66 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 me too Faye - it was not I that said that - I was responding to someone else's post <smiles> Amber Re: Re: 8 Hour Surgery In a message dated 1/6/2004 3:15:39 PM Eastern Standard Time, rehab2@... writes: I believe the rules dictate you don't reply privately ==================================== Never heard of this rule, many times I reply privately, sometimes even on purpose. LOL Fay Bayuk **300/168 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 ROFLMAO Fay!! I can't tell you how many times I send a response to the board (or so I thought) and then wonder where it went. And when I mean to send it to an individual, it ends up going to the group. ---------------------------------------- Terry Mayers 5DollarHosting.com http://www.5dollarhosting.com .... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! Re: Re: 8 Hour Surgery In a message dated 1/6/2004 3:15:39 PM Eastern Standard Time, rehab2@... writes: I believe the rules dictate you don't reply privately ==================================== Never heard of this rule, many times I reply privately, sometimes even on purpose. LOL Fay Bayuk **300/168 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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