Re: SURGERY 08/08/2005

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I assume you are talking about that he can't stay with you at the

hospital. I had a Lefort 3-piece on June 28th. My husband did not stay

with me because we decided it was best he head home to take care of the

kids since my mom couldn't arrive to help out until a few days after my

surgery. I was able to talk a little bit right after surgery because I

didn't have a splint in. I was actually okay by myself at the

hospital. I had the urine catheter in and didn't have to get out of bed

which helped. My doctor gave me nausea tablets to take so I never got

sick. I mainly slept the entire time and really just wanted to be left

alone.

As far as when I got home, I did need help for the first few days to

make sure I took my medication, help into the shower, and help making

sure I was taking enough fluids in. I was told by my OS that I would

have to have someone with me for the first 48 hours home.

Just remember that everyone's experience is different and I would really

ask your OS what he recommends and go by what he says!

Hope this helps,

--Caboose

> My husband had an emergency come up at work and can't stay with me

> like we had planned. Is there any reason I can't stay by myself? Did

> anyone else make it on their own?

>

> I'm having upper and lower surgery Monday, August 8.

[Guest guest]

You have some options here.

First, talk frankly with your surgeon. Explain what's happened, and

ask him how well the nurses know what's going on.

Second, and perhaps independently of the first, you can hire a

private care nurse, or aide, to help you through the first few

nights or days after surgery. I would not have needed them, because

my surgeon sent me to a post=anesthesia-care-unit, where I had

almost one-on-one care. You probably would have to pay extra -- but

hey -- what's money, if you need help?

Do you know whether you'll be wired shut, or tightly banded? That

can also make a huge difference.

But just for peace of mind, you may want to invest the $$$ in having

your own caregiver. You're spending thousands, probly, and your

insurance company is spending thousands more, so why not?

Good wishes to you. Most hospitals take good care, but there have

indeed been horror stories, and if you have your own nurse or aide,

you may be able to avoid the awful awfuls.

All that said, my doc had it all figured. I did lower advancement by

myself, with the excellent help of the hospital staff, and had no

troubles at all.

Cancel -- heck no! I would not have for the world. But I had an easy

recovery, with no nausea at all. I would talk at length with my doc,

and I would make arrangements to hire my own caregiver, if need be.

You do not need a mom who wants to be difficult while you are in

recovery. If you have a good and sympathetic friend, that could be

different -- but it sounds like to me it's time to bite the bullet,

or ask the hubbie to do so with whatever extra bucks he's making for

that evening's work, and hire a professional who is responsible to

you and will be by your side, at least for the first night post-op.

Maybe more.

And no, it's not really so bad. But it is important to get the

ice/heat when you need it. It is important, if you don't have a

catheter, to have help going to the bathroom. It is important to

have someone to help you communicate, if you're wired shut. (and

that could also be a deciding factor -- do you know whether you'll

be wired, or tightly banded, or neither?)

Talk candidly with your surgeon about this, and then do what you

feel you need. If you want or need a nurse or an aide, that's a

minimal expense, even if it comes out of pocket... Tell your hubby,

or your mom, that the nurse is the gift you want for your next

birthday/anniversary/whatever occasion!

Best,

Cammie

> Thanks for your help. Right now, I'm pretty much in a panic! Our

> original plan was for my husband to stay with me around the clock

> for the first week. Now, he can only be there the day of surgery

> and he'll leave before bedtime. I've never spent the night alone

in

> the hospital, and I'm really scared of being sick and not being

able

> to ask for help. I've always been able to depend on him to take

> care of me, and this seems like a terrible time to go it alone.

I'm

> wondering if I should just cancel. I have my pre-op visit with

the

> OS, and hospital pre-testing, tomorrow. I had those awful

surgical

> hooks put on yesterday about two hours before my husband dropped

> this bomb on me. Now, I just don't know what to do. My best

friend

> and my sister are both working. My mother thinks of my being

> hospitalized as the perfect opportunity to pick a fight (at least

> that's how she " helped " when my children were born). I know I

must

> sound like the biggest baby in the world, but I'm not sure I can

> handle this by myself! I was clicking along making preparations,

> but now I'm just paralyzed with fear and panic. I know this is

not

> a good attitude to take with me to the doctor or into surgery.

What

> should I do? Am I over-reacting? Is it really so bad? Is it

> really worth all of this?

>

> Angel

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I will consider everything you

suggested. I assume I will be tightly banded since I now have a

mouthful of " hooks " . I'll know more after I see my OS later today.

I believe it's the feeling of helplessness I imagine being banded

will bring on that scares me the most. I'm also claustrophobic, and

am afraid of panicking with no one there to help me. I will

consider hiring a caregiver, but I really don't know how to go about

that. I'm beginning to accept that I'm going to be stuck with my

mother. Our family has been through many very serious and stressful

hospital experiences (her brain surgery, the death of my two-year

old nephew, my dad's colon cancer, and my own children's brain

injuries following a car accident) since the last time she stayed

with me at the hospital. She seemed to get through all of these

situations with a better attitude. Maybe she wouldn't be so bad

with me this time??? Anyway, thanks so much for letting me whine

and vent. It helps to get it all out.

It's encouraging to know that you didn't have a bad time of it. It

seems like the experiences I've read on this site vary from one

extreme to the other, with some people having an experience like

yours and others having every complication known to man. But, I have

to say that even those who had a terrible experience always manage

to be encouraging to others, letting it be known that there is light

at the end of this tunnel; and it's not a train! I will try to keep

all these stories in mind as I head into the home stretch.

Thank you so much for your concern. Please, keep me in your

thoughts and prayers.

> > Thanks for your help. Right now, I'm pretty much in a panic!

Our

> > original plan was for my husband to stay with me around the

clock

> > for the first week. Now, he can only be there the day of

surgery

> > and he'll leave before bedtime. I've never spent the night

alone

> in

> > the hospital, and I'm really scared of being sick and not being

> able

> > to ask for help. I've always been able to depend on him to take

> > care of me, and this seems like a terrible time to go it alone.

> I'm

> > wondering if I should just cancel. I have my pre-op visit with

> the

> > OS, and hospital pre-testing, tomorrow. I had those awful

> surgical

> > hooks put on yesterday about two hours before my husband dropped

> > this bomb on me. Now, I just don't know what to do. My best

> friend

> > and my sister are both working. My mother thinks of my being

> > hospitalized as the perfect opportunity to pick a fight (at

least

> > that's how she " helped " when my children were born). I know I

> must

> > sound like the biggest baby in the world, but I'm not sure I can

> > handle this by myself! I was clicking along making

preparations,

> > but now I'm just paralyzed with fear and panic. I know this is

> not

> > a good attitude to take with me to the doctor or into surgery.

> What

> > should I do? Am I over-reacting? Is it really so bad? Is it

> > really worth all of this?

> >

> > Angel