Pretty OT- Experience or advice about having kids

[Guest guest]

Well, the good news is, I'm feeling incredibly good right now after having felt

not good for a long time, and horrible just a month ago. I have Crohn's and this

is the first time since I got sick that my CRP and SED rate are normal! I have

honestly not felt this good since before getting sick. I am on meds and have

been on SCD for almost 7 months.

Some background- my husband and I are 31, almost 32. We've been married for

almost 8 years, and we were thinking about starting to try and have kids right

before I got sick. Well, then, I got sick and have been battling my health

issues for the last year, and now, I finally feel good!

I met with my GI today, and he said to get off the methotrexate now so that I

could start trying for kids after it is out of my system. Well, I'm ecstatic

that I'm feeling like myself again, but I'm also freaked out about the

possibility of having a kid. My husband is so awesome with kids, seriously all

kids love him, probably because he's just a big kid himself. He's never

pressured me about having kids, and he said he'd be happy if it were just me and

him, but I know if I said I was ready, he'd be more than ready.

I'm freaked out, partially because I think about the possibility of having a

child that I pass Crohn's onto, or worry about having a flare and not being able

to take care of the child (though my husband would, of course), but also I'm

just not sure if I'm ready. Though I feel that I need to have a child soon since

I am getting older, I've never been one of those women who knew forever that she

wanted kids. But I wonder, do you ever really feel ready?

I am very introverted and like my alone time, and I also like sleep! (Though I

feel like I can get by on less than 8 hours now that I'm feeling good.) I know

it's stupid and selfish, but I think about not being rested and how that may

effect me or my disease, and then not having alone time and how that would

affect my mental health. I have a very supportive husband, and I know he would

help me out a ton if we have a baby.

For those of you who have been through this, do you have any advice for me? I'm

assuming I'm just having " cold feet " and that everyone probably goes through

some kind of similar questioning period. I just wonder if I should really feel

READY!

I know it can be a life changing experience for the better, and all my friends

who have kids say it's something you'll never regret. I'd love to hear from

people though who have health issues too, and just hear what you think or how

you felt when you were deciding.

Hope this isn't too off topic, and if you read this all, you're awesome!

Thanks,

Amber

[Guest guest]

My health problems didn't start until after I had my 3rd child, so I can't

address that part. But, I can tell you that I didn't want to have kids, or

wasn't sure, for my own reasons. Now that I have 4, I can honestly say that they

are the best things that ever happened to me! Can't imagine life without them.

One son has UC, but I'm still glad to have him! Being a parent is the wildest

thing you'll ever do, but it will stretch you, grow you, drive you crazy and

give you more joy than you ever dreamed. I know a few older people who never had

children and, with one exception, they either regret it or are sad that it

didn't work out.

Good luck!

Liz

[Guest guest]

Amber, this is great news that you are doing so well. I am happy for you. I did

not have GI issues until age 53, thankfully, so I have not experience to share

about the pregnancy.

You won't necessarily pass Chrons onto your child, it would be impossible to

tell. There is no guarantee- none of us have that. They will be your biggest

challenge and also your biggest joy. It's a big decision. It's not always an

easy road and they won't be perfect...but you will think they are because you

will love them so much.

However, I would consider your health. I did have sleep deprivation with a

newborn and pregnancy is not always easy. This is not a reason not to do it. I

am thankful I did. However, you may want to line up some help- family, friends,

sitters, so you can get your rest and stay as healthy as possible.

My kids are the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, but I was very

ready to have them. You may want to enjoy your good health and think about it

carefully for a bit.

PJ

> My health problems didn't start until after I had my 3rd child, so I can't

address that part. But, I can tell you that I didn't want to have kids, or

wasn't sure, for my own reasons. Now that I have 4, I can honestly say that they

are the best things that ever happened to me! Can't imagine life without them.

One son has UC, but I'm still glad to have him! Being a parent is the wildest

thing you'll ever do, but it will stretch you, grow you, drive you crazy and

give you more joy than you ever dreamed. I know a few older people who never had

children and, with one exception, they either regret it or are sad that it

didn't work out.

>

>

> Good luck!

> Liz

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Liz,

Well, that's great to hear! Obviously you must really have started to like kids

since you have 4! Thanks for your input. I know I can't have others make a

decision for me, it's comforting to know from others who weren't sure they

wanted kids at first. I get overwhelmed at the thought, but I have never heard

anyone say it wasn't worth it.

Thanks!

Amber

>

> My health problems didn't start until after I had my 3rd child, so I can't

address that part. But, I can tell you that I didn't want to have kids, or

wasn't sure, for my own reasons. Now that I have 4, I can honestly say that they

are the best things that ever happened to me! Can't imagine life without them.

One son has UC, but I'm still glad to have him! Being a parent is the wildest

thing you'll ever do, but it will stretch you, grow you, drive you crazy and

give you more joy than you ever dreamed. I know a few older people who never had

children and, with one exception, they either regret it or are sad that it

didn't work out.

>

>

> Good luck!

> Liz

>

[Guest guest]

Hi PJ,

I'm glad I'm doing well too!

You make very valid points, which I appreciate. You're right, I may need a lot

more help than someone who doesn't have a chronic illness. It's definitely

something to think about. I'm kind of feeling like this may be now or

never...but I have to wait three months anyway before really trying.

Thanks again!

Amber

>

> Amber, this is great news that you are doing so well. I am happy for you. I

did not have GI issues until age 53, thankfully, so I have not experience to

share about the pregnancy.

>

> You won't necessarily pass Chrons onto your child, it would be impossible to

tell. There is no guarantee- none of us have that. They will be your biggest

challenge and also your biggest joy. It's a big decision. It's not always an

easy road and they won't be perfect...but you will think they are because you

will love them so much.

>

> However, I would consider your health. I did have sleep deprivation with a

newborn and pregnancy is not always easy. This is not a reason not to do it. I

am thankful I did. However, you may want to line up some help- family, friends,

sitters, so you can get your rest and stay as healthy as possible.

>

> My kids are the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, but I was very

ready to have them. You may want to enjoy your good health and think about it

carefully for a bit.

>

> PJ

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

i wasn't sick till after my 4 - actually as soon as I stopped being prego or

breastfeeding is when it started - should have kept going - still feel good

enough sometimes that I do ask hubby for more - then other days - i say

seriously that would be unfair to the child - but if God thinks I can then bring

it on - lol

and they won't necessarily inherit it - my boys got my celiac and my girls are

ok so far -and none got Crohns- but if you feed them scd or close they may never

get anything!!!

good luck

eileen

2 years 9 months scd

> >

> > Amber, this is great news that you are doing so well. I am happy for you. I

did not have GI issues until age 53, thankfully, so I have not experience to

share about the pregnancy.

> >

> > You won't necessarily pass Chrons onto your child, it would be impossible to

tell. There is no guarantee- none of us have that. They will be your biggest

challenge and also your biggest joy. It's a big decision. It's not always an

easy road and they won't be perfect...but you will think they are because you

will love them so much.

> >

> > However, I would consider your health. I did have sleep deprivation with a

newborn and pregnancy is not always easy. This is not a reason not to do it. I

am thankful I did. However, you may want to line up some help- family, friends,

sitters, so you can get your rest and stay as healthy as possible.

> >

> > My kids are the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, but I was very

ready to have them. You may want to enjoy your good health and think about it

carefully for a bit.

> >

> > PJ

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Amber,

There are things that can help-like cooking and freezing SCD food before the

baby comes. Many friends brought dinner to me after the baby was born- so you

may want to teach your friends some simple SCD recipes, and your hubby how to

make yogurt. I hope you have " grandma " lined up to help so you can sleep. It's

important to sleep when you can. My MIL cooked a lot for me. You can do it, just

try to take care of yourself and line up friends/family to help.

When my kids were active toddlers, I could get a preteen neighbor to play with

them so I could get things done in the house, like laundry. I paid them, but it

was cheaper than a sitter. I did not leave the house- because they were too

young to babysit, but they can play, sing songs and entertain a little one while

you are resting nearby. Sometimes just getting to put your feet up helps.

In the summer, the college kids and high school kids are out. They are available

to run to the store for you, or help you cook if you teach them. Be creative-

you may not want a young teen in charge of the baby- but there is a lot they can

do for you- baby laundry, clean up, and so on. Having my 15 year old niece come

and take turns holding a fussy baby was a big help. And of course- there's hubby

PJ

> >

> > Amber, this is great news that you are doing so well. I am happy for you. I

did not have GI issues until age 53, thankfully, so I have not experience to

share about the pregnancy.

> >

> > You won't necessarily pass Chrons onto your child, it would be impossible to

tell. There is no guarantee- none of us have that. They will be your biggest

challenge and also your biggest joy. It's a big decision. It's not always an

easy road and they won't be perfect...but you will think they are because you

will love them so much.

> >

> > However, I would consider your health. I did have sleep deprivation with a

newborn and pregnancy is not always easy. This is not a reason not to do it. I

am thankful I did. However, you may want to line up some help- family, friends,

sitters, so you can get your rest and stay as healthy as possible.

> >

> > My kids are the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, but I was very

ready to have them. You may want to enjoy your good health and think about it

carefully for a bit.

> >

> > PJ

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Glad to hear you're feeling so much better Amber!

Here's my experience/opinion. Take it with a grain of salt, because we're all

very very different :-). I've known since I was diagnosed that I would never

have a child. Considering I've never been fond of children, this didn't exactly

break my heart ;-). My dad has crohn's, I have crohn's, and intestinal issues

and anxiety/depression issues run pretty rampant in my family. I just can't pass

these crappy genes onto an unsuspecting kid (I've also suffered terrible

anxiety/panic attacks/ OCD since I was a kid). And who knows if the meds I've

been on over the years have done anything funky to my eggs. If you're family

isn't overflowing with issues like mine, then it's a different story. But I feel

like any kid of mine would be cursed. Then of course there's the care of that

child. When my parents are out of town, taking care of our high maintenance dog,

bird, and all the household stuff about does me in. There's no way I could keep

up with a kid! Oh, and the gross tolerance level thing. I have no GTL

whatsoever.

The funny thing is, I must have some sort of subconscious " the biological clock

is ticking " thing going on. I'm 35, and lately have been having baby dreams

almost nightly. I'm either pregnant, giving birth, or have a newborn. This is

pretty weird coming from someone who hasn't ever changed a diaper in her life

;-). I can count on one hand how many times I've held a baby. I think I only

held my oldest nephew once, because he was always doing something gross. My

niece was a non-gross baby, so I held her a little more (even fed her once ;-)).

My second nephew hurt my ears with his constant crying, so I never got close

enough to hold him. So having all these baby dreams is a little freaky to me!

Good luck with which ever choice you make, and I hope your recent good health

means you will stay on the upswing :-).

Holly

Crohn's

SCD 12/01/08

>

> Well, the good news is, I'm feeling incredibly good right now after having

felt not good for a long time, and horrible just a month ago. I have Crohn's and

this is the first time since I got sick that my CRP and SED rate are normal! I

have honestly not felt this good since before getting sick. I am on meds and

have been on SCD for almost 7 months.

>

> Some background- my husband and I are 31, almost 32. We've been married for

almost 8 years, and we were thinking about starting to try and have kids right

before I got sick. Well, then, I got sick and have been battling my health

issues for the last year, and now, I finally feel good!

>

> I met with my GI today, and he said to get off the methotrexate now so that I

could start trying for kids after it is out of my system. Well, I'm ecstatic

that I'm feeling like myself again, but I'm also freaked out about the

possibility of having a kid. My husband is so awesome with kids, seriously all

kids love him, probably because he's just a big kid himself. He's never

pressured me about having kids, and he said he'd be happy if it were just me and

him, but I know if I said I was ready, he'd be more than ready.

>

> I'm freaked out, partially because I think about the possibility of having a

child that I pass Crohn's onto, or worry about having a flare and not being able

to take care of the child (though my husband would, of course), but also I'm

just not sure if I'm ready. Though I feel that I need to have a child soon since

I am getting older, I've never been one of those women who knew forever that she

wanted kids. But I wonder, do you ever really feel ready?

>

> I am very introverted and like my alone time, and I also like sleep! (Though I

feel like I can get by on less than 8 hours now that I'm feeling good.) I know

it's stupid and selfish, but I think about not being rested and how that may

effect me or my disease, and then not having alone time and how that would

affect my mental health. I have a very supportive husband, and I know he would

help me out a ton if we have a baby.

>

> For those of you who have been through this, do you have any advice for me?

I'm assuming I'm just having " cold feet " and that everyone probably goes through

some kind of similar questioning period. I just wonder if I should really feel

READY!

>

> I know it can be a life changing experience for the better, and all my friends

who have kids say it's something you'll never regret. I'd love to hear from

people though who have health issues too, and just hear what you think or how

you felt when you were deciding.

>

> Hope this isn't too off topic, and if you read this all, you're awesome!

>

> Thanks,

>

> Amber

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. It means a lot to me to hear your

different perspectives and suggestions. You all bring up valid points, and of

course you can't make the decision for me, but I appreciate hearing where you're

coming from. I'll keep you posted if I ever do get pregnant and have an SCD

baby!

Take care,

Amber

> >

> > Well, the good news is, I'm feeling incredibly good right now after having

felt not good for a long time, and horrible just a month ago. I have Crohn's and

this is the first time since I got sick that my CRP and SED rate are normal! I

have honestly not felt this good since before getting sick. I am on meds and

have been on SCD for almost 7 months.

> >

> > Some background- my husband and I are 31, almost 32. We've been married for

almost 8 years, and we were thinking about starting to try and have kids right

before I got sick. Well, then, I got sick and have been battling my health

issues for the last year, and now, I finally feel good!

> >

> > I met with my GI today, and he said to get off the methotrexate now so that

I could start trying for kids after it is out of my system. Well, I'm ecstatic

that I'm feeling like myself again, but I'm also freaked out about the

possibility of having a kid. My husband is so awesome with kids, seriously all

kids love him, probably because he's just a big kid himself. He's never

pressured me about having kids, and he said he'd be happy if it were just me and

him, but I know if I said I was ready, he'd be more than ready.

> >

> > I'm freaked out, partially because I think about the possibility of having a

child that I pass Crohn's onto, or worry about having a flare and not being able

to take care of the child (though my husband would, of course), but also I'm

just not sure if I'm ready. Though I feel that I need to have a child soon since

I am getting older, I've never been one of those women who knew forever that she

wanted kids. But I wonder, do you ever really feel ready?

> >

> > I am very introverted and like my alone time, and I also like sleep! (Though

I feel like I can get by on less than 8 hours now that I'm feeling good.) I know

it's stupid and selfish, but I think about not being rested and how that may

effect me or my disease, and then not having alone time and how that would

affect my mental health. I have a very supportive husband, and I know he would

help me out a ton if we have a baby.

> >

> > For those of you who have been through this, do you have any advice for me?

I'm assuming I'm just having " cold feet " and that everyone probably goes through

some kind of similar questioning period. I just wonder if I should really feel

READY!

> >

> > I know it can be a life changing experience for the better, and all my

friends who have kids say it's something you'll never regret. I'd love to hear

from people though who have health issues too, and just hear what you think or

how you felt when you were deciding.

> >

> > Hope this isn't too off topic, and if you read this all, you're awesome!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Amber

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Amber, although I wasn't diagnosed when I was trying to have my babies I was one of those freaky pregnant women. I **loved** being pregnant but was very, very scared from the time I found out. I even rented a machine so I could hear the baby's heart beating. That's my background. If you worried about everything that could happen to that child while growing in you-you'd go crazy. I was always in awe of my friends who never had ultrasounds and didn't worry. That was not me. So even with crohn's there's no guarantee your baby will get it. As parents we do what we can to protect the baby and hope for the best. And as far as having a baby, sleep is harder to come by in the beginning but that gets better. When my children hug and kiss me and tell me they love me...well that washes all the stresses and lack of sleep I had (and with a preemie there was little sleep in the beginning). Hope that helps. UC-C 12/09SCD 1/10Daily, CLO, Magnesium, bromelain, acidophilus Mom of 2 crazy monkeys :-)

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. It means a lot to me to hear your different perspectives and suggestions. You all bring up valid points, and of course you can't make the decision for me, but I appreciate hearing where you're coming from. I'll keep you posted if I ever do get pregnant and have an SCD baby!

Take care,

Amber

> >

> > Well, the good news is, I'm feeling incredibly good right now after having felt not good for a long time, and horrible just a month ago. I have Crohn's and this is the first time since I got sick that my CRP and SED rate are normal! I have honestly not felt this good since before getting sick. I am on meds and have been on SCD for almost 7 months.

> >

> > Some background- my husband and I are 31, almost 32. We've been married for almost 8 years, and we were thinking about starting to try and have kids right before I got sick. Well, then, I got sick and have been battling my health issues for the last year, and now, I finally feel good!

> >

> > I met with my GI today, and he said to get off the methotrexate now so that I could start trying for kids after it is out of my system. Well, I'm ecstatic that I'm feeling like myself again, but I'm also freaked out about the possibility of having a kid. My husband is so awesome with kids, seriously all kids love him, probably because he's just a big kid himself. He's never pressured me about having kids, and he said he'd be happy if it were just me and him, but I know if I said I was ready, he'd be more than ready.

> >

> > I'm freaked out, partially because I think about the possibility of having a child that I pass Crohn's onto, or worry about having a flare and not being able to take care of the child (though my husband would, of course), but also I'm just not sure if I'm ready. Though I feel that I need to have a child soon since I am getting older, I've never been one of those women who knew forever that she wanted kids. But I wonder, do you ever really feel ready?

> >

> > I am very introverted and like my alone time, and I also like sleep! (Though I feel like I can get by on less than 8 hours now that I'm feeling good.) I know it's stupid and selfish, but I think about not being rested and how that may effect me or my disease, and then not having alone time and how that would affect my mental health. I have a very supportive husband, and I know he would help me out a ton if we have a baby.

> >

> > For those of you who have been through this, do you have any advice for me? I'm assuming I'm just having "cold feet" and that everyone probably goes through some kind of similar questioning period. I just wonder if I should really feel READY!

> >

> > I know it can be a life changing experience for the better, and all my friends who have kids say it's something you'll never regret. I'd love to hear from people though who have health issues too, and just hear what you think or how you felt when you were deciding.

> >

> > Hope this isn't too off topic, and if you read this all, you're awesome!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Amber

> >

>