Re: Came some please give me some advice

[Guest guest]

I'm sure its not as bad as you think. Do you have any pictues you can post?

Tony wrote:I had my OP in December 2004, i had my

top jaw moved forward i am

getting diffrent responces from different people some responces our

good and some responces are bad when i get a good responce i feel

great when i get a bad one i feel depressed. I had treatment for 4

years as i had a bad atruding lower jaw. They moved my top jaw

forward 10mm. It took a good six months before the swelling came down

but still seemed quite swallon on one side.

I went back to my OD and he suggeted i went back in and have the

plates and screws removed (6 altogether). I had the plates removed in

july this year 8 weeks on after the romoval of plates and i still

feel I am swallen around the cheek area. My face seems to become

swallen when I laugh alot or drink alchol or being in a smokey

environement.

I am 32 now and really need to deal with the way I am looking now,

has anyone got any suggestions on how i can deal with the swelling

and with the sometimes rude comments.

I must add my appearance has changed alot when I laugh.

Please give me some advice.

[Guest guest]

Hi Tony,

I heard somewhere, I think from my OS, that it takes about a year

not only for the swelling, but as the bones and soft tissues are

adjusting, there can be differences in the muscle mass from one side

to another. I mean, my jaw is really off, but looking at me head

on, you can't see this. My soft tissues, because the body likes to

be balanced, have overgrown on one side, and are less developed on

the other side. After surgery, and with more symmetry, the swelling

wiil be there, but also the soft tissue takes time to adjust as

well. And that can take longer. Like I said, I was told one year

or even longer. Can you scedule an appointment with your OS to

discuss this? If it is really bothering you, I think it is worth an

office call.

And I would also discuss the noticable swelling you have with

activity such as talking and laughing. Maybe a good exam would be

helpful, or perhaps even some otc meds for the swelling. I have had

knee surgery, and that is also " to the bone " surgery. The swelling

with activity from that lasted well over a year from that. I was

told to take alleve for that. I don't know that this would be a

good idea for you, but it would be worth asking your OS or OD about.

I think anything that makes you question how you can deal with a

very upsetting issue is important enough to warrant a call or

visit. Personally I would go in person. Maybe take some digital

pics of when the swelling is less, and when it has become noticable

to others. It gives them an idea of what you are concerned with.

I hope this helps. Please let us know what you find out.

Hugs,

Fran

> I had my OP in December 2004, i had my top jaw moved forward i am

> getting diffrent responces from different people some responces our

> good and some responces are bad when i get a good responce i feel

> great when i get a bad one i feel depressed. I had treatment for 4

> years as i had a bad atruding lower jaw. They moved my top jaw

> forward 10mm. It took a good six months before the swelling came

down

> but still seemed quite swallon on one side.

>

> I went back to my OD and he suggeted i went back in and have the

> plates and screws removed (6 altogether). I had the plates removed

in

> july this year 8 weeks on after the romoval of plates and i still

> feel I am swallen around the cheek area. My face seems to become

> swallen when I laugh alot or drink alchol or being in a smokey

> environement.

>

> I am 32 now and really need to deal with the way I am looking now,

> has anyone got any suggestions on how i can deal with the swelling

> and with the sometimes rude comments.

>

> I must add my appearance has changed alot when I laugh.

>

> Please give me some advice.

[Guest guest]

Hi Tony,

It's not the comments that are making you feel bad, but your

reaction to them (whether good or bad). That's a hard thing to

change, but it's possible to do so, on one's own, or with help from

a therapist. I've been able to do so.

I did foolishly ask my brother-in-law what he thought of the change,

and he said " well, I guess you'll just have to live with it " . That

bugged me until I realized that he is a person who tends to be very

critical of things. And that I should just let that comment go, not

let it be a monkey on my back.

Being in a smokey environment is also not healthy - is this a home

environment or somewhere that you have to be in? Here in Ontario,

most communities are now smoke-free in public places and

restaurants/bars, so we don't have to put up with smoke anymore.

It's a wonderful change. When I quit smoking in 1992 (before the

bylaw changes), I just left the room or building if it got too

smokey for me.

I also felt my face swell when I talked too much, chewed too much or

did a lot of exercise.

Residual swelling from the primary surgery can take up to a year to

subside. You've had a second surgery (removal of hardware) and

although I don't think it takes as long to recover, it's still

additional swelling. 8 weeks is probably too short to say the

swelling is over. I think you'll just have to be more patient on

this one.

It also helps if you can avoid looking in the mirror too much, as

it's a reminder of the swelling. You want to make sure there isn't

swelling from infection (probably unlikely for you since the

hardware is gone), but you don't want to obsess over your

appearance, as is so easy to do.

Hope that helps. I had major change in my appearance and I can

relate how difficult this transition is. Just try to remember it's

you that's making it a bad or a good thing, and that can change.

> I had my OP in December 2004, i had my top jaw moved forward i am

> getting diffrent responces from different people some responces our

> good and some responces are bad when i get a good responce i feel

> great when i get a bad one i feel depressed. I had treatment for 4

> years as i had a bad atruding lower jaw. They moved my top jaw

> forward 10mm. It took a good six months before the swelling came

down

> but still seemed quite swallon on one side.

>

> I went back to my OD and he suggeted i went back in and have the

> plates and screws removed (6 altogether). I had the plates removed

in

> july this year 8 weeks on after the romoval of plates and i still

> feel I am swallen around the cheek area. My face seems to become

> swallen when I laugh alot or drink alchol or being in a smokey

> environement.

>

> I am 32 now and really need to deal with the way I am looking now,

> has anyone got any suggestions on how i can deal with the swelling

> and with the sometimes rude comments.

>

> I must add my appearance has changed alot when I laugh.

>

> Please give me some advice.

[Guest guest]

Thankyou so much for your advice. I have taken everything in from your

email and I am starting to listen to people like you, and your right in

every way I am going to get on with living my life again.

The worlds a better place for people like you.

_____

From: orthognathicsurgerysupport

[mailto:orthognathicsurgerysupport ] On Behalf Of

fiddlesticks220002

Sent: 06 October 2005 13:14

To: orthognathicsurgerysupport

Subject: Re: Came some please give me some

advice

Hi Tony,

It's not the comments that are making you feel bad, but your

reaction to them (whether good or bad). That's a hard thing to

change, but it's possible to do so, on one's own, or with help from

a therapist. I've been able to do so.

I did foolishly ask my brother-in-law what he thought of the change,

and he said " well, I guess you'll just have to live with it " . That

bugged me until I realized that he is a person who tends to be very

critical of things. And that I should just let that comment go, not

let it be a monkey on my back.

Being in a smokey environment is also not healthy - is this a home

environment or somewhere that you have to be in? Here in Ontario,

most communities are now smoke-free in public places and

restaurants/bars, so we don't have to put up with smoke anymore.

It's a wonderful change. When I quit smoking in 1992 (before the

bylaw changes), I just left the room or building if it got too

smokey for me.

I also felt my face swell when I talked too much, chewed too much or

did a lot of exercise.

Residual swelling from the primary surgery can take up to a year to

subside. You've had a second surgery (removal of hardware) and

although I don't think it takes as long to recover, it's still

additional swelling. 8 weeks is probably too short to say the

swelling is over. I think you'll just have to be more patient on

this one.

It also helps if you can avoid looking in the mirror too much, as

it's a reminder of the swelling. You want to make sure there isn't

swelling from infection (probably unlikely for you since the

hardware is gone), but you don't want to obsess over your

appearance, as is so easy to do.

Hope that helps. I had major change in my appearance and I can

relate how difficult this transition is. Just try to remember it's

you that's making it a bad or a good thing, and that can change.

> I had my OP in December 2004, i had my top jaw moved forward i am

> getting diffrent responces from different people some responces our

> good and some responces are bad when i get a good responce i feel

> great when i get a bad one i feel depressed. I had treatment for 4

> years as i had a bad atruding lower jaw. They moved my top jaw

> forward 10mm. It took a good six months before the swelling came

down

> but still seemed quite swallon on one side.

>

> I went back to my OD and he suggeted i went back in and have the

> plates and screws removed (6 altogether). I had the plates removed

in

> july this year 8 weeks on after the romoval of plates and i still

> feel I am swallen around the cheek area. My face seems to become

> swallen when I laugh alot or drink alchol or being in a smokey

> environement.

>

> I am 32 now and really need to deal with the way I am looking now,

> has anyone got any suggestions on how i can deal with the swelling

> and with the sometimes rude comments.

>

> I must add my appearance has changed alot when I laugh.

>

> Please give me some advice.

[Guest guest]

Hi Tony,

I fully agree here with , you need to decide whether you like

your self and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I had my

surgery 3 weeks ago, and even though I am still swollen, I have

decided I like the new me. I cried for the first week as even my

husband had a problem with the way I looked and would not come near

me, that hurt me a lot, but a friend of mine had similar surgery and

adviced me to find photos of myself over the years of profile shots

and where I am smiling and have my teeth and gummy smile, and then

every week take new photos of myself and compare whether the surgery

was worth it. Once I did that, I started to realise that I look and

hell of a lot better now even with the swelling and that looking in

the mirrow every two seconds is not going to tell me the truth. I

now don't ask what people think, as they tell me how happy I look

and that its terrific. They don't emphise on my looks because I

don't ask for their opinion. you also need to give people time to

get use to the new you. My husband now loves the way I look. We have

been married for 18 years and He was used to the way I looked, now

all of the sudden I changed my apperance and it was challenging for

him. Now that most of the swelling is gone, He loves the way I look,

but most important, He realised I have only changed on the outside

and the inside its still the same.

I hope I am making sense and its a little bit of help.

Take care

> > I had my OP in December 2004, i had my top jaw moved forward i am

> > getting diffrent responces from different people some responces

our

> > good and some responces are bad when i get a good responce i feel

> > great when i get a bad one i feel depressed. I had treatment for

4

> > years as i had a bad atruding lower jaw. They moved my top jaw

> > forward 10mm. It took a good six months before the swelling came

> down

> > but still seemed quite swallon on one side.

> >

> > I went back to my OD and he suggeted i went back in and have the

> > plates and screws removed (6 altogether). I had the plates

removed

> in

> > july this year 8 weeks on after the romoval of plates and i still

> > feel I am swallen around the cheek area. My face seems to become

> > swallen when I laugh alot or drink alchol or being in a smokey

> > environement.

> >

> > I am 32 now and really need to deal with the way I am looking

now,

> > has anyone got any suggestions on how i can deal with the

swelling

> > and with the sometimes rude comments.

> >

> > I must add my appearance has changed alot when I laugh.

> >

> > Please give me some advice.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

That's interesting that your husband wouldn't come near you post-op.

That must have really been tough for you. Later my husband told me

some of the thoughts he'd had - he said I looked terrible when I

first came out of surgery, but that the photos I'd showed him had

prepared him for something like that. He'd also taken care of his

parents through many hospital stays, so he was used to being there

and helping me (24x7).

My mom had the hardest time with it, I think. She said it was

strange to hear my voice (and it had changed too, so it wasn't my

old voice) coming from a different face. Because we don't see my

parents that often due to distance (although that's recently changed

in the last six months), it took her awhile to get used to the

change. She says she's ok with it now.

I agree, I'm the same person on the inside, but a little different,

having grown through that particular experience.

>

> Hi Tony,

>

> I fully agree here with , you need to decide whether you like

> your self and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I had my

> surgery 3 weeks ago, and even though I am still swollen, I have

> decided I like the new me. I cried for the first week as even my

> husband had a problem with the way I looked and would not come

near

> me, that hurt me a lot, but a friend of mine had similar surgery

and

> adviced me to find photos of myself over the years of profile

shots

> and where I am smiling and have my teeth and gummy smile, and then

> every week take new photos of myself and compare whether the

surgery

> was worth it. Once I did that, I started to realise that I look

and

> hell of a lot better now even with the swelling and that looking

in

> the mirrow every two seconds is not going to tell me the truth. I

> now don't ask what people think, as they tell me how happy I look

> and that its terrific. They don't emphise on my looks because I

> don't ask for their opinion. you also need to give people time to

> get use to the new you. My husband now loves the way I look. We

have

> been married for 18 years and He was used to the way I looked, now

> all of the sudden I changed my apperance and it was challenging

for

> him. Now that most of the swelling is gone, He loves the way I

look,

> but most important, He realised I have only changed on the outside

> and the inside its still the same.

>

> I hope I am making sense and its a little bit of help.

>

> Take care

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

It was hard at the beginning, but I understood what He was going

through Himself because I was going through it as well. He is a very

honest person and very truthfull. He always tells me how he feels

and I know him too well, He was also so very scared of hurting me

which is the reason He would not come near me, He did the very same

thing when I was pregnant with my first one, we had IVF and He could

not believe that we were finally going to have a baby, so in case it

did not happen, He would stay away from me because of his fear.

My mum and dad were fantastic. Every morning they will tell me how

much better I looked and how beautiful I was. I think they felt

guilty that I had to go through this now and that they did not help

me sort it out when I was younger, but I have no regrets at all. I

was scared and it took me over 10 years to get the courage to have

the operation.

My kids were scared of me at first, I had shown them photos of what

I was going to look like and when they saw me at the hospital they

still got a big fright specially my 3 year old ( He would not come

near me and kept saying I was not his mummy). But after a couple of

days they were ok with it, apart from the fact they kept calling me

Shrek, which I said " I will turn into princess Fiona with time " .

We are all happy now but it has been an experience.

Take care and look after yourself.

> >

> > Hi Tony,

> >

> > I fully agree here with , you need to decide whether you

like

> > your self and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I had

my

> > surgery 3 weeks ago, and even though I am still swollen, I have

> > decided I like the new me. I cried for the first week as even my

> > husband had a problem with the way I looked and would not come

> near

> > me, that hurt me a lot, but a friend of mine had similar surgery

> and

> > adviced me to find photos of myself over the years of profile

> shots

> > and where I am smiling and have my teeth and gummy smile, and

then

> > every week take new photos of myself and compare whether the

> surgery

> > was worth it. Once I did that, I started to realise that I look

> and

> > hell of a lot better now even with the swelling and that looking

> in

> > the mirrow every two seconds is not going to tell me the truth.

I

> > now don't ask what people think, as they tell me how happy I

look

> > and that its terrific. They don't emphise on my looks because I

> > don't ask for their opinion. you also need to give people time

to

> > get use to the new you. My husband now loves the way I look. We

> have

> > been married for 18 years and He was used to the way I looked,

now

> > all of the sudden I changed my apperance and it was challenging

> for

> > him. Now that most of the swelling is gone, He loves the way I

> look,

> > but most important, He realised I have only changed on the

outside

> > and the inside its still the same.

> >

> > I hope I am making sense and its a little bit of help.

> >

> > Take care

> >

>