Guest guest Posted January 15, 2004 Report Share Posted January 15, 2004 i have really been touched by all the emails of late, the vulnerability and heart searching to know more about ourselves...the before, the after..the in-between.... for me, my self esteem was nonexistent when i was at my peak, i had for most of my life white knuckled it and remained as an adult more times than not trim, but then it went awry... the self loathing i experienced was practically paralyzing, i never wanted to go out and be seen and would only do so if it was something for my children....i had been separated for some time so a partners support was not something i experienced, though my husband was clearly against my being overweight hence the white knuckling... previous to my surgery i had the great fortune to become involved with a group of women that were bbw's and the men that loved them...i was amazed and humbled, jealous even...for they had such grand self worth that depended not on the size of their bodies, but on their hearts and spirits, and their sensuality flourished... i was always ashamed to be a big woman, so i hid....these wonderful changed my life, opening doors to new self perception .....which surely had been trampled while married to a man who was so demanding that a size 6 was never good enough...but then i also remember as a young girl my mother, a large woman herself, making me wear a girdle to pull 'it' all in.... i haven't thought about all this in a while...thank you all for sharing your experiences, it is good to connect the dots, so to speak... warmly from a women who knows that verbal abuse is indeed abuse, laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2004 Report Share Posted January 15, 2004 In a message dated 1/16/2004 1:26:26 AM Eastern Standard Time, jillyohmy3@... writes: i haven't thought about all this in a while...thank you all for sharing your experiences, it is good to connect the dots, so to speak... ================================ I agree and your post was very uplifting, though sad. Fay Bayuk **300/171 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Click for My Profile http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2004 Report Share Posted January 16, 2004 In a message dated 1/16/04 4:14:14 AM Eastern Standard Time, FBayuk writes: > I agree and your post was very uplifting, though sad. > > > Fay Bayuk > **300/171 > > Fay...thanks... sometimes what ever, how ever we experience things is but a stepping stone ...i believe sometimes it is the gift of the sad times that bring us to the to realizations that we might not have had... my having had an abusive mother and husband has endlessly tutored me in what i will not be to friends, lovers or my daughters... so in that spirit it is rather miraculous to be here, a positive woman, now renewing my life with a vibrant energy with the body to afford me a thoroughly active life again... and yeah, the mirror has become a friend again...laughing here... o the paths life takes us on...what a ride... warmly, laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2004 Report Share Posted January 16, 2004 hehe i think it is the newness of it all that has me so floored everyday still janice Vanity Naw...I don't think this is vanity at all. It's a novelty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2004 Report Share Posted January 16, 2004 Jac, I'm with you. I like looking at myself in the mirror now. However, I will qualify that...I like looking at myself CLOTHED in the mirror. When I think I look good, there is still that little doubt in the back of my mind that says, do you really look good or do you just THINK you do and you really don't?? Then I have to shake that nagging doubt and realize that yes, I really do look good. Maybe it is a little vanity, but heck, we deserve it!! Cindy in Va lap RNY 2/8/02- -- In Graduate-OSSG , " jacquemiller " <Jacquemiller@c...> wrote: > Naw...I don't think this is vanity at all. It's a novelty! I used to > avoid mirrors...! I actually LIKED what I > saw in the reflection for the first time in my life. Now, I still use the > full length mirror...and I don't think I'm vain in the least. I > highly doubt you are either! It's just a phase that will pass in time~ > > Regards~ > > Jacque > yes...I'm really concerned that I am so vain. I can't pass a mirror without > checking myself out. I'm embarrassed by this, it's seems so shallow. But I > guess that it is only because looking so good ( and yes, people do tell me > that I look good. beautiful. Stunning, even.) is still new to me, and I have > to keep checking to make sure it is true, that pretty woman rflected there > is really me. This isn't a dream. Perfhaps when I get used to looking this > way, I won't have to keep checking. Or...perhaps I am just vain. > > > " My cat knows the song in my heart and purrs it to me when my memory fails me. " > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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