Re: I was worried about me dying

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/23/2004 12:44:13 AM Eastern Standard Time,

MagicCheri@... writes:

for the best six months of my life

===================================

I feel profound Joy and sadness for you.

Fay Bayuk

**300/171

10/23/01

Dr.

Open RNY 150 cm

Click for My Profile

http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008

[Guest guest]

I read your post this morning as I prepare for hernia repair and TT on

Monday. I have been frightened of the surgery as well. I had two previous

surgeries so I guess I know what to expect as far as pain. I am so sorry for

your

loss and I will pray for peace to come your way. Please know that God does have

a reason for all this and although we don't understand now, someday we will

see with our eyes unclouded. Larry does know why this happened and even though

it seems so unfair, he knows why. He loved you very much and it was a

wonderful blessing to have you for even a short time in his life. You were his

blessing from God. I don't know what I can say that will even began to comfort

you

but know that many loving thoughts and prayers are coming your way.

God bless and comfort you,

Marilyn Childers

Fairmont, WV

[Guest guest]

Cheri,

My heart goes out to you. You have been blessed by having such a wonderful

man in your life to love and who loved you with all his heart! May you take

comfort in your memories and the knowledge that he is in a wonderful place!

We never know when our time will come and it sounds like you both lived your

life to the fullest when you were together. My prayers are sent your way!

Rev. Pam

Open RNY 12/11/02

318.5/182

I was worried about me dying

> Hi everyone. I know I don't post much but appreciate all your help every

> time I have to have another surgery. I always get so scared just like

every one

> else does. Anything can happen, right? We all started off very different

> people than who we are now. My 2 year birthday will be the 28th of this

month and

> I have gone from 268 to 120 at only 5'1 " . Last May I had to have a redo

> because all my staples disrupted plus there was 2 hernias. Okay, that was

> basically a breeze. The recovery was remarkable. Maybe a little too easy

for my own

> good. The one hernia came back and grew so big I looked like I was 9

months

> pregnant and the back pain was so intense I could not work for months. So

the

> new surgeon said lets repair it right and get the TT at the same time.

> Sounded easy enough. But I was always so scared something could go wrong

and I

> would die.

> In the meantime last summer I met the most wonderful guy and we fell in

love

> hard. We were inseparable. We have been living together for 6 months and

were

> getting married this summer. We were just like two kids who could never

get

> enough of each other. We stayed up half the nights talking and never were

> apart even for one day. Larry was 9 yrs my junior. I turned 47 in

November and he

> was 38 December 23rd. And was he cute!!! 6'3 " ,a little on the thin side,

and

> the most gorgeous brown eyes with the darkest eyelashes I have ever seen

in

> my life. I guess I could go on forever.

> Then comes November and I have to have the 2nd hernia repaired with the

TT. I

> was terrified of dying. The surgery was scheduled the day before my

birthday.

> This was the hardest surgery I have ever had as you all know that have had

> it. I'm still not back to 100% yet. Larry was there every minute of it and

took

> care of me totally. I didn't have to ask for anything. It was just there.

He

> cooked Thanksgiving dinner and it was the best I have ever had. Christmas

was

> humble because Larry was out of work but I had the first real tree in 13

> years and it was beautiful!

> I went back to work 2 weeks ago and missed him every minute I was gone.

We

> talked on my breaks and at lunch because I don't eat much anyway. It was

hard

> to be away from him for 9 hours a day.

> Then the other night he went to sleep at 2am and when I woke up at 6am he

was

> not breathing and had no heartbeat. He went into cardiac arrest sometime

> during those hours. I did CPR and called 911. The paramedics came and

jump

> started his heart and put a breathing bag on him. He never did wake up.

The oxygen

> to his brain was gone for too long and he passed away yesterday at 3pm. I

am

> grieving and lonely and sad and numb and still in disbelief. Here I was

so

> afraid of me dying and God decides to take Larry instead. I just don't

get it. I

> keep going back and forth from feelings of not deserving love to thanking

God

> for the best six months of my life. I have come so far in these past two

> years and become this entirely new person and now it doesn't even matter

anymore.

> My first husband died nine years ago just after our 20th anniversary at

age

> 38 too. He was sick so it was expected. But he left me with 4 kids, no

> insurance, and a pile of bills. Why does this hurt more? I turned to

food for

> comfort then. Now I can't put anything in my mouth. I am drinking my

decaf coffee

> and water. Food makes me sick right now. Will I ever eat again? Does it

> matter? I did take my vitamins.

> I am sorry to burden every one with this sad story but please love the

ones

> you love. Don't ever take them for granted because there is no guarantee

of

> any tomorrow's for any of us. I am asking for those who believe to please

say a

> prayer for Lar. He was a Christian and is with God now. I don't know why

> God chose this time to take him but he must have his reasons.

> Thank you for listening.

> Cheri

> MagicCheri@...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

There are no words I can offer that would asuage your grief. But, grieve for

him, celebrate the love you shared and remember that what you did have in

such a short time is exactly what most of us are still searching for and have

yet

to find.

I have a dear friend who lost her husband last year. She had been waiting a

long time for him and they found each other. She quit her job, went on the

road with him driving a truck and in the year that they were together, they

spent every moment together, never apart. I believe that some people love a

lifetime's worth in a short time. It is the quality of the love that is

important and

it sounds as if you two had that, definitely.

May God, the great comforter, bring you some peace and comfort you during

this difficult and lonely time. Remember to reach out here and to people in

your life for support, it's important to lean on others during times like this.

God Bless You,

M

[Guest guest]

Cheri,

My heart aches for you. I will pray for you and for your Lar to find

peace. Sounds like you were soulmates. No matter what life brings to

you next, remember that Larry will always be looking out for you and

will be waiting for you, when the time is right.

As time goes on, you'll find yourself less hurt, less angry with God

for taking him before you were ready to let him go. In the meantime,

cherish the love you shared for such a brief time. Keep it tucked

away in your heart and bring it out from time to time when you need

to be reminded that you are a person worthy of love.

Bless you for sharing this painful story with us. It took a lot of

courage.

((HUGS))

> Hi everyone. I know I don't post much but appreciate all your help

every

> time I have to have another surgery. I always get so scared just

like every one

> else does. Anything can happen, right? We all started off very

different

> people than who we are now. My 2 year birthday will be the 28th of

this month and

> I have gone from 268 to 120 at only 5'1 " . Last May I had to have a

redo

> because all my staples disrupted plus there was 2 hernias. Okay,

that was

> basically a breeze. The recovery was remarkable. Maybe a little

too easy for my own

> good. The one hernia came back and grew so big I looked like I was

9 months

> pregnant and the back pain was so intense I could not work for

months. So the

> new surgeon said lets repair it right and get the TT at the same

time.

> Sounded easy enough. But I was always so scared something could go

wrong and I

> would die.

> In the meantime last summer I met the most wonderful guy and we

fell in love

> hard. We were inseparable. We have been living together for 6

months and were

> getting married this summer. We were just like two kids who could

never get

> enough of each other. We stayed up half the nights talking and

never were

> apart even for one day. Larry was 9 yrs my junior. I turned 47 in

November and he

> was 38 December 23rd. And was he cute!!! 6'3 " ,a little on the thin

side, and

> the most gorgeous brown eyes with the darkest eyelashes I have ever

seen in

> my life. I guess I could go on forever.

> Then comes November and I have to have the 2nd hernia repaired with

the TT. I

> was terrified of dying. The surgery was scheduled the day before my

birthday.

> This was the hardest surgery I have ever had as you all know that

have had

> it. I'm still not back to 100% yet. Larry was there every minute of

it and took

> care of me totally. I didn't have to ask for anything. It was just

there. He

> cooked Thanksgiving dinner and it was the best I have ever had.

Christmas was

> humble because Larry was out of work but I had the first real tree

in 13

> years and it was beautiful!

> I went back to work 2 weeks ago and missed him every minute I was

gone. We

> talked on my breaks and at lunch because I don't eat much anyway.

It was hard

> to be away from him for 9 hours a day.

> Then the other night he went to sleep at 2am and when I woke up at

6am he was

> not breathing and had no heartbeat. He went into cardiac arrest

sometime

> during those hours. I did CPR and called 911. The paramedics came

and jump

> started his heart and put a breathing bag on him. He never did wake

up. The oxygen

> to his brain was gone for too long and he passed away yesterday at

3pm. I am

> grieving and lonely and sad and numb and still in disbelief. Here

I was so

> afraid of me dying and God decides to take Larry instead. I just

don't get it. I

> keep going back and forth from feelings of not deserving love to

thanking God

> for the best six months of my life. I have come so far in these

past two

> years and become this entirely new person and now it doesn't even

matter anymore.

> My first husband died nine years ago just after our 20th

anniversary at age

> 38 too. He was sick so it was expected. But he left me with 4

kids, no

> insurance, and a pile of bills. Why does this hurt more? I turned

to food for

> comfort then. Now I can't put anything in my mouth. I am drinking

my decaf coffee

> and water. Food makes me sick right now. Will I ever eat again?

Does it

> matter? I did take my vitamins.

> I am sorry to burden every one with this sad story but please love

the ones

> you love. Don't ever take them for granted because there is no

guarantee of

> any tomorrow's for any of us. I am asking for those who believe to

please say a

> prayer for Lar. He was a Christian and is with God now. I don't

know why

> God chose this time to take him but he must have his reasons.

> Thank you for listening.

> Cheri

> MagicCheri@a...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Cheri, I am so sorry for your loss. I just don't know what to say as I sit

here with tears pouring down my face. Please, please accept condolences from

and I.

Debbie &

in Gig Harbor

(170cm medial)

ladybostons@...

http://www.cafeshops.com/copsstore

http://www.marykay.com/debbiemcneice

[Guest guest]

Cheri,

I read your post very early this am and of it brought tears to my

eyes. I have been trying to think of the right words to say to you,

but of course they won't come. There may not be any. I want you to

remember how very lucky you are to have found the type of love you

share w/Lar. Many do not ever find it. That deep of love is such a

blessing. Your time with him was such a blessing. Now I believe

you have him looking out for you. Please remember he would want you

to take care of yourself first and foremost just as he cared for

your during your recovery. Please try to eat especially your

protein and take your vitamins. You need your health in order to

recover. I am so very sorry for your loss and for what you are

going through. Please keep in touch here. We want to hear from

you. You are important to us.

Diane

> Hi everyone. I know I don't post much but appreciate all your

help every

> time I have to have another surgery. I always get so scared just

like every one

> else does. Anything can happen, right? We all started off very

different

> people than who we are now. My 2 year birthday will be the 28th

of this month and

> I have gone from 268 to 120 at only 5'1 " . Last May I had to have

a redo

> because all my staples disrupted plus there was 2 hernias. Okay,

that was

> basically a breeze. The recovery was remarkable. Maybe a little

too easy for my own

> good. The one hernia came back and grew so big I looked like I

was 9 months

> pregnant and the back pain was so intense I could not work for

months. So the

> new surgeon said lets repair it right and get the TT at the same

time.

> Sounded easy enough. But I was always so scared something could

go wrong and I

> would die.

> In the meantime last summer I met the most wonderful guy and we

fell in love

> hard. We were inseparable. We have been living together for 6

months and were

> getting married this summer. We were just like two kids who could

never get

> enough of each other. We stayed up half the nights talking and

never were

> apart even for one day. Larry was 9 yrs my junior. I turned 47 in

November and he

> was 38 December 23rd. And was he cute!!! 6'3 " ,a little on the

thin side, and

> the most gorgeous brown eyes with the darkest eyelashes I have

ever seen in

> my life. I guess I could go on forever.

> Then comes November and I have to have the 2nd hernia repaired

with the TT. I

> was terrified of dying. The surgery was scheduled the day before

my birthday.

> This was the hardest surgery I have ever had as you all know that

have had

> it. I'm still not back to 100% yet. Larry was there every minute

of it and took

> care of me totally. I didn't have to ask for anything. It was

just there. He

> cooked Thanksgiving dinner and it was the best I have ever had.

Christmas was

> humble because Larry was out of work but I had the first real tree

in 13

> years and it was beautiful!

> I went back to work 2 weeks ago and missed him every minute I was

gone. We

> talked on my breaks and at lunch because I don't eat much anyway.

It was hard

> to be away from him for 9 hours a day.

> Then the other night he went to sleep at 2am and when I woke up at

6am he was

> not breathing and had no heartbeat. He went into cardiac arrest

sometime

> during those hours. I did CPR and called 911. The paramedics came

and jump

> started his heart and put a breathing bag on him. He never did

wake up. The oxygen

> to his brain was gone for too long and he passed away yesterday at

3pm. I am

> grieving and lonely and sad and numb and still in disbelief. Here

I was so

> afraid of me dying and God decides to take Larry instead. I just

don't get it. I

> keep going back and forth from feelings of not deserving love to

thanking God

> for the best six months of my life. I have come so far in these

past two

> years and become this entirely new person and now it doesn't even

matter anymore.

> My first husband died nine years ago just after our 20th

anniversary at age

> 38 too. He was sick so it was expected. But he left me with 4

kids, no

> insurance, and a pile of bills. Why does this hurt more? I

turned to food for

> comfort then. Now I can't put anything in my mouth. I am

drinking my decaf coffee

> and water. Food makes me sick right now. Will I ever eat again?

Does it

> matter? I did take my vitamins.

> I am sorry to burden every one with this sad story but please love

the ones

> you love. Don't ever take them for granted because there is no

guarantee of

> any tomorrow's for any of us. I am asking for those who believe

to please say a

> prayer for Lar. He was a Christian and is with God now. I don't

know why

> God chose this time to take him but he must have his reasons.

> Thank you for listening.

> Cheri

> MagicCheri@a...

>

>

>