Re: Re: Ian Back Home - Thanks to All

[Guest guest]

,

Please know that I am thinking of and praying for you and your family. You

know we are all here for you and that we all love and care for you and your

family very much.

If you need anything just let me know.

B

and Kelli

anderkat3 wrote:

Hi. I am so happy he is home and you were able to celebrate

Christmas. I am sorry this is so difficult for you. I feel for

what you are going through, it seems very similar to Autumn's recent

situation. It is overwhelming. Youre doing a wonderful job!

mom to Autumn RSS, Summer SGA, Ocean, Skye

>

> I've finally had a moment to review the listserve for the last

> couple of weeks. Since 's croup around the 16th - life

has

> been a little hectic around here.

>

> First, thank you Jodi Z for taking the time to keep everyone

posted

> on Ian's situation at the hospital. Thanks too to all those who

> responded with such heartfelt and encouraging words - it really

> meant alot to me.

>

> I've just discussed something with my husband I think would be

> appropriate for you to hear. He reminded me that during very

> stressful times in my life (not always sad - such as when my son

> was born) I tend to close off my life around me. Maybe

> it's a mechanism to protect myself from further pain, stress, fear

> or other difficult feelings. Such as in the case of 's

> birth - although a joyous occassion - it was the overwhelming

sense

> of emotions that caused me to build a brick wall around me.

>

> I've built that wall again. I need it. I'm shutting out the

world -

> I just don't have the energy to talk to anyone or think about

> anything else except for my son's, Ian's health needs, my

wonderful

> and supportive husband and try to enjoy what's around me. It's so

> hard to think about everything going on with Ian. I'm exhausted

and

> worn out mentally. I'm sad.

>

> I went from having a child that ate 2-3 meals a day, supplementing

> with Nutren - to having an NG tube-fed boy, who won't eat much in

> the way of any food, who's angry at me - for the obvious (hospital

> stay), and to the fact that I feel like we are only starting down

a

> path that proves to be more challenging and scary - to be honest.

>

> We have a new Endocrinologist appointment coming up on January 6th

> along with his upper GI tests the same day. I'm hoping to get the

G-

> tube surgery scheduled within a week or two after the tests.

>

> I know this is all no big deal. Things could be worse - we saw

that

> at the hospital and we are very fortunate. Still, it makes me

sad.

> It's so hard fighting for your child's healthcare. It was so

> frustrating getting to a point where we collectively decided

things

> for Ian - it was just exhausting.

>

> Anyway, we had Christmas today. It was very nice. The boys had a

> great time and I even made a nice dinner at the dining table. My

dh

> sais I haven't smiled in over a week. I think I've faked a laugh

> here and there and of course, I forced myself to smile today -

but,

> he knows the difference. It will happen. This overwhelming

feeling

> will get better and in a couple of weeks - I'll wonder what was

such

> a big deal.

>

> Thanks again for all your sweet thoughts, e-mails, posts and

advice

> during our stressful time. I VERY much appreciate it. If I don't

> hang out and post on the listserve for awhile - please don't take

> offense. I just don't have the energy. I care about you all and

> hope everyone is doing okay. I'll check back soon.

>

> - H

>