Re: Help me...i'm new to all this - reni

[Guest guest]

Hi reni. just to add what connie mentioned.

My underbite runs in my dads side of the family. Though im the only

one whos jaws were so severe that i needed surgery. I dont think

that my dad so much as felt guilt over this. Though he did have a

problem with me having the surgery and didnt agree to it. 3 years

post op. Im glad i had it done and i think he has finally accepted

why in the first place i wanted and needed it doing.

Kind regards

Kat_UK

> > I have a question? You mentioned -- " parent's guilt of what they

> have

> > caused " . What do you mean? I am not sure what does cause

this.

> >

[Guest guest]

I think I may be the one who started this discussion of parents'

resentment of surgery. The word " cause " is a problematic one, I know,

but Kat explained it perfectly.

I have a friend who discovered that her daughter, age 16, had some

severe physical anomalies, not related to the mouth but rather to

some internal organs, and nearly drove herself crazy worrying about

whether she'd eaten, drunk, inhaled something that caused her

daughter's problems.

Nobody will ever know in that case. And fortunately for all, my

friend had no hesitation in helping her child seek the necessary

surgical repairs.

But some parents worry or resent that they may have passed on a gene

that caused a child problems. For others, the child has always been

and will ever be " perfect, " and need not undergo such rigorous

procedures. Others have no idea of the difficulties posed by a bite

that is mismatched -- how hard it can be to eat a sandwich, or the

cultivated shyness or embarrassment, or the extent of the headaches

or jaw pain. Some insist, no matter how many times it's explained,

that it's a matter of cosmetics only. And some are just incredible.

One woman who had a 10-12 mm overbite repaired had parents who never

even acknowledged her braces, nor the surgery. Another was greeted

the first time post-op by a grandmother who said, " Well, you still

have a long face. "

Unbelievable. Mercifully I had no such problems. But I do believe it

can be helpful to people to know that they are not alone in facing

such denial/pride/whatever it is.

It also amazes me that in this day of televised " magical " makeovers,

facelifts, bodyshaping surgery, liposuction, cosmetic dentistry,

etc., -- even " neuticals " for altered pet dogs! -- any non-expert

would presume to tell anyone who is not a minor child what he or

she " should " do in these matters.

Cammie

> > > I have a question? You mentioned -- " parent's guilt of what

they

> > have

> > > caused " . What do you mean? I am not sure what does cause

> this.

> > >