Isaac's birthday...2yr check up...venting

January 20, 2006

First let me say Happy Birthday Autumn!! I agree that the time flies

by so fast.

Isaac turned 2 yesterday and had a wonderful party! The theme was

finding Nemo and he cried after each person left and said " Te amo " .

My mother-in-law only speaks Spanish to him and it means I Love you.

It was so sad and sweet at the same time.

This morning I took him in for his 2 year check-up and his weight

gain was awful. It was the worst gain he has had ever. I was so very

disappointed. He had been doing so well and he is really eating alot

but the gain was just not there. The doc also said that his tonsils

are huge and is sending us to an ENT doc. His pediatrician thinks

they will need to come out soon. THis scares me because it is

another hospital stay and I know surgery is extra risky for our

kids. The doc then asked me if he was " running yet " . He isn't even

walking or standing independently for that matter. I kept it

together until we got to the car but as soon as I turned the key in

the engine I couldn't stop crying. I was playing the " why " game and

blaming myself. I guess I got my hopes up after the doc said Isaac

could finally reach the growth charts. My heart aches for my son. I

am so tired of all the doctors and all of the therapy..how I wish he

didn't have to deal with all of it. We are meeting with the endo on

Feb. 2nd to discuss Growth Hormones. I am worried..what if I can't

do it- how am I going to be able to stick him every day? He gets

prodded and poked so much that he cries when we enter the parking

garage at the Children's hospital because he knows what is coming-

and soon he will have to be poked at home! What are the

psychological ramifications of daily injections for so many years?

Then my thoughts turn to my daughter. Will she resent me for all of

the time I have to spend with Isaac when she gets older? Will she

think I don't love her as much as her brother?

I hate feeling like this..I haven't in a really long time but I

guess we are all allowed to have a bad day every once and awhile..

Mimi

Mom to Isaac- RSS, MCAD, Hypothyroidism 2 yrs 18lbs 13oz, 31 inches

Sofia- 4 months

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