Re: Can't Stop Fretting

[Guest guest]

My daughter did not use a Britax car seat and she had moderate plagio......the point is it is not something that you did. it is not something that you didn't do. It is something that happens to rising number of babies and it is mostly contributed to the back to sleep program or a medical issues like Torticollis.

I can say this to you because I felt the same way when my daughter was diagnosed with Plagio and Torticollis. She was my 3rd child so because I was taking care of 2 others did I neglect her in some way? I am sure that everyone on this board has felt guilty at some point. Just please realize it is not your fault and try to take that energy and put it into getting correction.

My daughter was 9 months old when we got her helmet...so it is no where near to late.

I know that all this is easier said than done and I have been there.

I hope that you can hear the reassuring words of all that respond and feel better.

Hooper

Camille 16 months - Danmar helmet graduate January 14th 2011.

Can't Stop Fretting

Thank you for your comments to my other post. I've been told by people around me, whether they've seen my son or not, that he's fine, it'll be fine as he grows. These people don't know. We have general pictures of him (not for plagio documentation), and he has an engaging smile and gaze, so it's easy not to notice his headshape. It also depends on the angle of the photo. The problem is, I can't not see it anymore, and I'm always looking to see if I'm really seeing what I think I'm seeing. In fact, it's affecting our relationship, b/c breastfeeding is the perfect angle to see the misshapen area, and whereas I should be talking to/singing to him, I find myself turning inwards and thinking about this whole regrettable situation.We have used a Britax Chaperone, and that is the main contributing factor, I believe, because I think what's happening is that it is bottle-necking him to fit into the headrest. This sickens me. This is not the beautifully round head he was born with, and I WANT IT BACK! (SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM) My husband basically rolls his eyes when I say that I want to consider getting another carseat. We spent a lot of money and did a lot of research b/c I'm so concerned about safety for my son. I just didn't know the trade-off. I feel guilt-ridden, and I'm the only parent who feels bad about this. Just because he doesn't feel this way/acknowledge it/whatever, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I found out that our insurance does not require referrals to specialists. So, I am going to schedule that soon. 2 1/2 months old is not too late, right? Please tell me it's not too late. I don't want to spend $3000, but I also just want my baby's head back. I now have regrets, and he's less than 3 months old. And, I feel paralyzed, like I shouldn't trust what I am seeing because others around me think I'm overreacting, so I'm biding my time, just 'hoping' it will go away. Sadly, it has not. I feel like I have to go through a grieving process about this whole situation. Grieving over the loss of the head he was born with. I don't want to sound vain. If he had been born with a differently shaped head, I would have dealt with that. It's so bothersome knowing that I caused this problem in my beautiful boy, no matter how unintentional it was, I caused it.Does anyone have recommendations for carseats? We settled on Britax and I never looked at anything else.

[Guest guest]

First and foremost, you cannot blame yourself!!! There are SO many reasons that children have plagiocephaly and you aren't included in those reasons. I wouldn't panic about the car seat either...all car seats are meant to keep children safe and Britax is one of the safest. Consider safety over vanity and know that your son's head can be perfect once again, hang in there mama. As far as I know, your son is too young to begin the helmet/band process. I believe they won't band any child under the age of 4 months, so your actually WAY ahead of the game. Beginning now, you can try and correct the flatness with repositioning and LOT'S of tummy time. *This still may not correct it, remember their little skulls are so soft and sometimes repositioning isn't enough. I think you should go to a consultation (they are free) at a place that makes/issues the bands.

They are the "experts" and can direct you in your quest for a once again perfect head.

A little about me: I'm a mom to an 11 month old, STARband baby (we are currently in week 7 of treatment) and things are going very well. Our son was born 6wks early and was diagnosed with torticollis and plagiocephaly at 4 months. We did EVERYTHING to correct his little head...unfortunately, it just seemed to get worse. We began to notice facial asymmetry at 9 months and therfore, we went with the STARband. Already we have seen wonderful changes in his face and flat spot. His facial asymmetry is no longer noticeable and the back of his head looks sooooo much better. It's a process and a shock to deal with these things but it's worth it! I can relate to everyone saying, "He's fine, I don't notice it at all." I heard it from everyone, including my husband (a physician). It took a lot of pressure on my side to get him to agree, I can honestly say

that the "pressure" was worth it and I'd do it all again and again and again.

Take a deep breath and enjoy your son. It's going to be alright.

~

Mom to Sterling (STARband week 7)

From: rubylou77 <rubylou77@...>Plagiocephaly Sent: Thu, March 17, 2011 5:20:33 AMSubject: Can't Stop Fretting

Thank you for your comments to my other post. I've been told by people around me, whether they've seen my son or not, that he's fine, it'll be fine as he grows. These people don't know. We have general pictures of him (not for plagio documentation), and he has an engaging smile and gaze, so it's easy not to notice his headshape. It also depends on the angle of the photo. The problem is, I can't not see it anymore, and I'm always looking to see if I'm really seeing what I think I'm seeing. In fact, it's affecting our relationship, b/c breastfeeding is the perfect angle to see the misshapen area, and whereas I should be talking to/singing to him, I find myself turning inwards and thinking about this whole regrettable situation.We have used a Britax Chaperone, and that is the main contributing factor, I believe, because I think what's happening is that it is bottle-necking him to fit into the headrest. This sickens me. This is not the beautifully

round head he was born with, and I WANT IT BACK! (SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM) My husband basically rolls his eyes when I say that I want to consider getting another carseat. We spent a lot of money and did a lot of research b/c I'm so concerned about safety for my son. I just didn't know the trade-off. I feel guilt-ridden, and I'm the only parent who feels bad about this. Just because he doesn't feel this way/acknowledge it/whatever, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I found out that our insurance does not require referrals to specialists. So, I am going to schedule that soon. 2 1/2 months old is not too late, right? Please tell me it's not too late. I don't want to spend $3000, but I also just want my baby's head back. I now have regrets, and he's less than 3 months old. And, I feel paralyzed, like I shouldn't trust what I am seeing because others around me think I'm overreacting, so I'm biding my time, just 'hoping' it will go away. Sadly, it has not.

I feel like I have to go through a grieving process about this whole situation. Grieving over the loss of the head he was born with. I don't want to sound vain. If he had been born with a differently shaped head, I would have dealt with that. It's so bothersome knowing that I caused this problem in my beautiful boy, no matter how unintentional it was, I caused it.Does anyone have recommendations for carseats? We settled on Britax and I never looked at anything else.

[Guest guest]

It is quite normal to feel guilty. Stop blaming yourself and focus on that fact that you are doing everything that you can for your son. He's less than 3 months-old! That means you still have time to try repositioning. His skull is still soft enough that you may be able to avoid helmet therapy altogether. Many of us on the board would have loved to have been in your position.If you son's head is flatter on one side, have his ped examine him or refer him to a PT if necessary for an evaluation to rule out tort. If he has range of motion issues with his neck, all the repositioning the world will do no good until the tort is resolved.Look on the bright side--you are way, way ahead of the game. Head shape is fixable, especially at your son's young age. See a specialist who is up-to date on

helmet therapy NOW. Good luck!-Amy From: "mrshooper05@..." <mrshooper05@...>Plagiocephaly Sent: Thu, March 17, 2011 10:15:24 AMSubject: Re: Can't Stop Fretting

My daughter did not use a Britax car seat and she had moderate plagio......the point is it is not something that you did. it is not something that you didn't do. It is something that happens to rising number of babies and it is mostly contributed to the back to sleep program or a medical issues like Torticollis.

I can say this to you because I felt the same way when my daughter was diagnosed with Plagio and Torticollis. She was my 3rd child so because I was taking care of 2 others did I neglect her in some way? I am sure that everyone on this board has felt guilty at some point. Just please realize it is not your fault and try to take that energy and put it into getting correction.

My daughter was 9 months old when we got her helmet...so it is no where near to late.

I know that all this is easier said than done and I have been there.

I hope that you can hear the reassuring words of all that respond and feel better.

Hooper

Camille 16 months - Danmar helmet graduate January 14th 2011.

Can't Stop Fretting

Thank you for your comments to my other post. I've been told by people around me, whether they've seen my son or not, that he's fine, it'll be fine as he grows. These people don't know. We have general pictures of him (not for plagio documentation), and he has an engaging smile and gaze, so it's easy not to notice his headshape. It also depends on the angle of the photo. The problem is, I can't not see it anymore, and I'm always looking to see if I'm really seeing what I think I'm seeing. In fact, it's affecting our relationship, b/c breastfeeding is the perfect angle to see the misshapen area, and whereas I should be talking to/singing to him, I find myself turning inwards and thinking about this whole regrettable situation.We have used a Britax Chaperone, and that is the main contributing factor, I believe, because I think what's happening is that it is bottle-necking him to fit into the headrest. This sickens me. This is not the beautifully

round head he was born with, and I WANT IT BACK! (SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM) My husband basically rolls his eyes when I say that I want to consider getting another carseat. We spent a lot of money and did a lot of research b/c I'm so concerned about safety for my son. I just didn't know the trade-off. I feel guilt-ridden, and I'm the only parent who feels bad about this. Just because he doesn't feel this way/acknowledge it/whatever, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I found out that our insurance does not require referrals to specialists. So, I am going to schedule that soon. 2 1/2 months old is not too late, right? Please tell me it's not too late. I don't want to spend $3000, but I also just want my baby's head back. I now have regrets, and he's less than 3 months old. And, I feel paralyzed, like I shouldn't trust what I am seeing because others around me think I'm overreacting, so I'm biding my time, just 'hoping' it will go away. Sadly, it has not.

I feel like I have to go through a grieving process about this whole situation. Grieving over the loss of the head he was born with. I don't want to sound vain. If he had been born with a differently shaped head, I would have dealt with that. It's so bothersome knowing that I caused this problem in my beautiful boy, no matter how unintentional it was, I caused it.Does anyone have recommendations for carseats? We settled on Britax and I never looked at anything else.