to re: Raven

[Guest guest]

We just recently went through the same experience with our son

who is 4 and in Junior Kindergarten. I could hardly believe

it when he started school that the very thing we didn't focus on

became the focus; for busing, the teacher and worst of all the other

kids. is constantly reminded by other students in his class

and in the school that he is 'too small' to do any number of

things. The teacher even caught some very well meaning grade 6

girls carrying him around outside to help him avoid the puddles and

mud. The teacher even related an incident where had hurt

himself and cried and her first instinct, because of his size, was

to pick him up. She promptly put him down because she realized the

impact her actions had on the other children's perspective on

.

Anyway what we have done is spoken very clearly to about the

fact that his physical size doesn't matter - it is the size of his

desire to do something that matters. We explained to him that there

is nothing he cannot do - we operate under the premise of 'where

there is a will there is a way' (no pun on his name intended but in

our case it is all about his will). Consequently he has taken to

telling students that he can do it, to leave him alone etc. The

teacher has taken to subtly handling incidences she witnessess and

hears about so that the negative impact is minimized. In some

instances this has led to some negative behaviour from in

his efforts to prove himself; i.e. hitting and kicking other

children who tell him he isn't capable of something he feels he is

(we are currently dealing with this as well).

There is nothing more upsetting for you - the feeling of

helplessness, there are days when I wish I could go to school with

him. Just know that if it wasn't this it might be something else;

my oldest was picked on for his healthy lunches, #2 for her

glasses. Kids can be just plain mean and all we can do is attempt

to equip them with the coping skills.

Good Luck

Charlene, mom to age 4