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Re: Can't Stop Fretting

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Not sure how severe your babies head is, but you should try aggressive

repositioning at this age, even if you are trying to get him evaluated for a

helmet/band. The car seat is very unlikely to be the problem, unless you leave

him in it when you don't need to. Some people find it convenient to have the

baby sleep in the car seat (infant carrier) even when not in the car - this is

bad for the head. Also keep him out of swings, bouncers etc and try to get a

baby carrier you like. Push tummy time, even if he doesn't like it. Get on the

floor and play with him, get a colorful mat, do it in short bursts several times

a day... Tummy time will help get him off his head & strengthen his neck & upper

body. when sleeping put him on the prominent side of his head etc. You may get

some improvement through these tips.

Also if he seems to prefer one side, or doesn't have a full range of motion have

him evaluated for torticollis. Tort is a big contributor to plagio and requires

physical therapy to help stretch the neck muscles. Most of the work will be done

by you at home :-)

-christine

sydney, 5 yrs, starband grad

>

> Thank you for your comments to my other post. I've been told by people around

me, whether they've seen my son or not, that he's fine, it'll be fine as he

grows. These people don't know. We have general pictures of him (not for plagio

documentation), and he has an engaging smile and gaze, so it's easy not to

notice his headshape. It also depends on the angle of the photo. The problem is,

I can't not see it anymore, and I'm always looking to see if I'm really seeing

what I think I'm seeing. In fact, it's affecting our relationship, b/c

breastfeeding is the perfect angle to see the misshapen area, and whereas I

should be talking to/singing to him, I find myself turning inwards and thinking

about this whole regrettable situation.

>

> We have used a Britax Chaperone, and that is the main contributing factor, I

believe, because I think what's happening is that it is bottle-necking him to

fit into the headrest. This sickens me. This is not the beautifully round head

he was born with, and I WANT IT BACK! (SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM) My husband

basically rolls his eyes when I say that I want to consider getting another

carseat. We spent a lot of money and did a lot of research b/c I'm so concerned

about safety for my son. I just didn't know the trade-off. I feel guilt-ridden,

and I'm the only parent who feels bad about this. Just because he doesn't feel

this way/acknowledge it/whatever, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I found out

that our insurance does not require referrals to specialists. So, I am going to

schedule that soon. 2 1/2 months old is not too late, right? Please tell me it's

not too late. I don't want to spend $3000, but I also just want my baby's head

back. I now have regrets, and he's less than 3 months old. And, I feel

paralyzed, like I shouldn't trust what I am seeing because others around me

think I'm overreacting, so I'm biding my time, just 'hoping' it will go away.

Sadly, it has not.

>

> I feel like I have to go through a grieving process about this whole

situation. Grieving over the loss of the head he was born with. I don't want to

sound vain. If he had been born with a differently shaped head, I would have

dealt with that. It's so bothersome knowing that I caused this problem in my

beautiful boy, no matter how unintentional it was, I caused it.

>

> Does anyone have recommendations for carseats? We settled on Britax and I

never looked at anything else.

>

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I understand your concerns. Please know you did not cause this. My son is 10

months, diagnosed at 6 months with plagio and we used all the same items for our

daughter now 3.5 yrs who does not have plagio. I agree with the other posts, the

seat is not the contributing factor, its the back to sleep campaign and the fact

that some babies heads are more maleable and therefore, flatten when placed on

their back to sleep, especially when they also have torticollis and favor one

side. The good news is you are recognizing it early and the earlier you seek

treatment, the less time you will probably need for correction, and therefore,

this will be just a little blip that go by before you know it. Also, this early,

as the other posts mentioned, aggresive repositioning and physical therapy if

there is torticollis can benefit as well. We tried it for our son around 5

months but it did not correct enough and we went with the helmet.

So my advice is enjoy your son, try to minimize your worrying, and know you have

great options if there needed. Yes, its part of a mourning process to accept

your childs head is a little misshappen but consider this a blessing that is all

we have to deal with. I will take this any day over some the illnesses some

little ones and their parents are having to face.

I think most posters on here would agree we understand what your going through

and since we have been through it we can easily say the worrying does no good,

the process is suprisingly easy, the babies adapt really well, and in the end,

everyone wins.

Hang in there!

ps. Joyce Meyer has some great books with daily devotionals on worrying, I think

Battlefield of the Mind its called.

Christi

>

> Thank you for your comments to my other post. I've been told by people around

me, whether they've seen my son or not, that he's fine, it'll be fine as he

grows. These people don't know. We have general pictures of him (not for plagio

documentation), and he has an engaging smile and gaze, so it's easy not to

notice his headshape. It also depends on the angle of the photo. The problem is,

I can't not see it anymore, and I'm always looking to see if I'm really seeing

what I think I'm seeing. In fact, it's affecting our relationship, b/c

breastfeeding is the perfect angle to see the misshapen area, and whereas I

should be talking to/singing to him, I find myself turning inwards and thinking

about this whole regrettable situation.

>

> We have used a Britax Chaperone, and that is the main contributing factor, I

believe, because I think what's happening is that it is bottle-necking him to

fit into the headrest. This sickens me. This is not the beautifully round head

he was born with, and I WANT IT BACK! (SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM) My husband

basically rolls his eyes when I say that I want to consider getting another

carseat. We spent a lot of money and did a lot of research b/c I'm so concerned

about safety for my son. I just didn't know the trade-off. I feel guilt-ridden,

and I'm the only parent who feels bad about this. Just because he doesn't feel

this way/acknowledge it/whatever, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I found out

that our insurance does not require referrals to specialists. So, I am going to

schedule that soon. 2 1/2 months old is not too late, right? Please tell me it's

not too late. I don't want to spend $3000, but I also just want my baby's head

back. I now have regrets, and he's less than 3 months old. And, I feel

paralyzed, like I shouldn't trust what I am seeing because others around me

think I'm overreacting, so I'm biding my time, just 'hoping' it will go away.

Sadly, it has not.

>

> I feel like I have to go through a grieving process about this whole

situation. Grieving over the loss of the head he was born with. I don't want to

sound vain. If he had been born with a differently shaped head, I would have

dealt with that. It's so bothersome knowing that I caused this problem in my

beautiful boy, no matter how unintentional it was, I caused it.

>

> Does anyone have recommendations for carseats? We settled on Britax and I

never looked at anything else.

>

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Oh my goodness did I feel similar! Our insurance did require a referral and we fought forever to get into see a specialist because our pediatrician was convinced our sons head at 6 months would fill in.  Then he had the nerve to say if it didn't our sons hair would hide it! And our sons head was super flat and pointy on the right side.  We finally got our referral and my son got his helmet at 12.5 months old.  Everyone said it was too late even though when my son was 4 months they said it was too soon to consider a helmet.

It worried me too, even though my son has always been super happy. 

But my son has been in his helmet (hanger helmet) for 3 weeks and (holy smokies!) we can already see some improvement:)

Try really hard to focus on your baby's needs (emotional and physical) and know it will get better and there are options.  See the specialist so you can hear that you aren't a horrible mama...because you aren't!!!  If your baby needs a helmet, it's okay and will work out:)  Just keep loving and snuggling in-between appointments to assess and remind yourself of all the things you are doing right.  Your baby needs you to be secure and strong and loving more than a helmet at this young age.  Fortunately, your baby has technology and specialists on your side who can help correct the mishaped head...and a loving mama who wants the best for them.

We have all felt guilt and worry so try not to be too hard on yourself and know you are not alone:)

Hang in there!

Ally

On Mar 18, 2011 9:04 AM, " CHRISTI " <christimunns@...> wrote:

 

I understand your concerns. Please know you did not cause this. My son is 10 months, diagnosed at 6 months with plagio and we used all the same items for our daughter now 3.5 yrs who does not have plagio. I agree with the other posts, the seat is not the contributing factor, its the back to sleep campaign and the fact that some babies heads are more maleable and therefore, flatten when placed on their back to sleep, especially when they also have torticollis and favor one side. The good news is you are recognizing it early and the earlier you seek treatment, the less time you will probably need for correction, and therefore, this will be just a little blip that go by before you know it. Also, this early, as the other posts mentioned, aggresive repositioning and physical therapy if there is torticollis can benefit as well. We tried it for our son around 5 months but it did not correct enough and we went with the helmet.

So my advice is enjoy your son, try to minimize your worrying, and know you have great options if there needed. Yes, its part of a mourning process to accept your childs head is a little misshappen but consider this a blessing that is all we have to deal with. I will take this any day over some the illnesses some little ones and their parents are having to face.

I think most posters on here would agree we understand what your going through and since we have been through it we can easily say the worrying does no good, the process is suprisingly easy, the babies adapt really well, and in the end, everyone wins.

Hang in there!

ps. Joyce Meyer has some great books with daily devotionals on worrying, I think Battlefield of the Mind its called.

Christi

>

> Thank you for your comments to my other post. I've been told by people around me, whether they've ...

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