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... And I'm in awful shape, emotionally and physically. I had my 3 year

anniversary on January 30. I too was a WLS poster child, lost 200 lbs. But most

of the old habits have returned I've gained 20 lbs and the clothes aren't

fitting. I can't believe the crap I'm eating. Or the amount. I can't believe and

I'm SO PISSED that I'm here again, for the 9000th time.

I'm struggling with depression, (Been on meds for years, and yes, winter really

sucks) and have also had to put down two of my cats in the last six weeks. (It

was time, they were over 13 years and cognitively, I'm real OK with the

decision, but the void is overwhelming, even with three other cats and a Jack

terrier to keep me company.)

I have been exercising or it would be a 40 lb gain, but it's a bear to get

there. And the weight gain is making it noticeably more difficult and less

enjoyable.

Excuse my language, how the hell do I get off this pity pot? I KNOW the shaming

doesn't help and keeps me in the food. I keep doing " the tomorrow will be

different. " There's a bunch of Atkins protein in my refrig. I can't see drinking

it if I'm going to binge anyway. Seems like a waste.

Part of me questions my mechanics, what should I be looking for? I can eat a

helluva lot of food. 's double cheeseburger is not a problem. An entire

medium pizza.

I am SO ANGRY....and this the really sick part...feeling like, of course, this

was going to happen. It was too good to be true.

a

385/180/200

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