Merry Christmas to all my gal pals!

[Guest guest]

P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 10 LPM 8/04, PH 3/06, ILL yo 61REMEMBER : All of you on Prednisone'stressed' spelled backwards is 'desserts'

Merry Christmas To My Female Friends

If

I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do

I'd

dump silly gifts that are given to you

And

deliver some things just inside your front door

Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd

give you back all your maidenly vigor,

And

to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.

Then

restore the old color that once graced your hair

Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd

bring back the shape with which you were gifted

So

things now suspended need not be uplifted.

I'd

draw in your tummy and smooth down your back

Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd

remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin

So

you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin

You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells

And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No

sore aching feet and no corns on your toes

No

searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose

Not

a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny

From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd

never have a headache, so no pills would you take.

And

no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.

Yes,

if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid

You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a

cupid.

I'd

give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle

And

the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

But

alas! I'm not Santa.I'm simply just me

The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I

wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got

But

I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.

Even

though we've grown older this wish is sincere

Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.