Re: doc band without support from spouse unrealistic?

[Guest guest]

Well, I went through the same thing with my husband but ultimately got our son

into a Doc Band at 9 months. Even though this was late, (I first noticed the

tort and plagio at 3 months)I do not regret doing SOMETHING.

Now, we did not get complete correction but there was some

improvement,especially with his ears and forehead.

At this point, it sounds like you have little to lose (20% out of pocket) if

things don't end up working out. In my opinion, this is a small price to pay for

the peace of mind that you did everything you could to help your son.

You have clearly put a lot of thought into this and it sounds like you will

regret not moving forward. I say give it an honest try.

Go out to a craft store, pick out some cool stickers and go into it with a

positive attitude. As for the naysayers(extended family and friends)....you do

not owe them any explanation.

This is a TEMPORARY situation and you and your wife will get through it. I wish

you the best of luck.

*If you were a woman I would give you the same advice!*

Stick around here for continued support!!

>

> I apologize if some of this is repetative. I've been posting for a lot for

the last couple of weeks, as I'm quickly running out of time. Long story short,

my wife and I don't see eye to eye on the DOC band. She thinks its totally

unnecessary, and is upset at the thought of it. I am consumed by guilt, and

also don't love the idea, but feel I owe it to my son. Is this something that I

can do withough my wife's support? I'm not concerned with being the one who

drives him back and forth, deals with insurance, and cleans the band. What

worries me is that I will be the one encouraging (forcing) him to keep it on,

explaining why he needs it to friends and family, etc. If anything seems off,

or he is upset (whether helmet-related or not) I'll have to fight with my wife

to keep it on his head.

> Let me be clear that she will not be convinced that there's any good to be had

from the helmet, whether or not it helps to round out his head.

> Should I bother to pursue this? I've got 1 week to decide. Got the RX and

everything, but he'll be 18 months on the 27th, after which insurance no longer

covers 80%.

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I bet most of the people here are those who do get helmets or other treatment so you should expect people to say go ahead and do it if you think it's neccesary.

I can't tell from your posts how mild it is so your wife may have a point that it is not necessary. But if you think there is a noticeable deformation that people would see as he gets older then I understand why you are exploring this. My husband thought it was a dumb idea too until I told him about my grade school classmate they would call "boxhead", and when the nanny, after 3 months of repositioning treatment said, "Hey, did you know his head is flat back here?". We were hoping it wasn't noticeable and was getting better, and hadn't even mentioned it to her. But she said something unsolicited so we knew we weren't just seeing things when we saw the plagiocephaly. That, coupled with me pointing out my husband's receding hairline and his thoughts of going bald convinced him that we were just going to have to suck it up and get the helmet, so as to not to regret it in adulthood if our son asks why we didn't do anything about his head.

This is interesting because, often, (and I know this is a generalization) it is the mother trying to convince the father to do something like this. And not just plagiocephaly related but for a lot of different healthcare issues. It's usually the man who is like, "let's wait and see", or "that's bull and they are just trying to get your money", or "nobody will notice and you're worrying about nothing". I am dealing with my husband thinking the sleep apnea monitor is crap because of some false alarms, when I think that is a totally idiotic thing to just ignore breathing issues. Two sleep studies have established that the baby stops breathing at night and has low oxygen saturation, and he has asthma. But still my husband thinks the commercial Angelcare baby movement monitor is better just because it doesn't go off as much. That monitor cannot compare to a hospital grade piece of equipment and it doesn't monitor the heart like the apnea monitor does. Anyway, so I just take responsibility and sleep in the room with the baby until we are done with this monitoring. And it seems like you have a similar plan in place to deal with the helmet care since your wife is reluctant. If you decide to do it, hopefully you can come to an agreement that she will not undermine your efforts (take the helmet off just because the baby fusses) as long as you do all the work involved. If she will be working against you, then that would be unrealistic to try. But it is not unrealistic for you all to agree to disagree about having the helmet. And, really, I know older babies who have had helmets and it wasn't as bad as you make it seem, as far as having to explain to him and family about why he has the helmet. With my baby, some older kids at the park even asked their moms if they could get a helmet and some adults mistook it for just a regular crash helmet he liked to wear. Several other parents and grandparents would tell us that their kids had helmets and they were glad they did. We did get ours painted with his name on it and cute monkeys swinging from palm trees on it so it didn't look as medical as the plain white ones. Lastly, I'm sure your baby will still be cute in the helmet. My older brother said he was amazed that even with an ortho helmet on, the baby was still beautiful.

[Guest guest]

That's a good point, caden_mom, because we had to pay $3500 of the $3800 for our doc band. So the fact that he is risking paying 20% of the cost might be a good sign that he should at least try.

[Guest guest]

At 17 months I think Cranial Tech would have been discouraging if your child

didn't actually have some significant flatness and/or facial asymmetry. That

would lead me to encourage you to do it.

In addition to all the medical and social reasons to do it I'd offer another

motivation. When parents disagree I always think it best to do it for the sake

of their relationship. If you don't you will always regret it because you will

always see the problem you see now and other problems arise from it in the

future. You don't want to be resenting and blaming your wife down the road. At

worst she will be unhappy for 4 months of the child being in the band. Once it's

off her troubles will be done. Yours could last so they should be avoided.

In all likelihood she will have the same experience most of us do: that the

anticipation is so much worse than the reality. Though I never hesitated,

worrying beforehand about people's reaction and the baby's suffering were

overwhelming and drove me to tears while we waited for appointments, scripts,

and the band itself. Once we had it, it was a bit of a hassle, but nothing

compared to the build up. I've read that same experience here many times. Maybe

your wife will feel the same.

Good luck,

ED

>

> >

> >

> > That's a good point, caden_mom, because we had to pay $3500 of the $3800

> > for our doc band. So the fact that he is risking paying 20% of the cost

> > might be a good sign that he should at least try.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>