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I feel like crying

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OK, I'm new. I need some support/advice. I have a two year old who had severe

plagiocephaly. My health visitor brushed me off saying that his hair would

cover it up and no-one mentioned helmets/treatments until he was more than 6 mo.

We eventually got him a helmet. He was quite severe at 18mm and after 3 months

we got him down to 7mm. He stopped improving so we were advised to take it off.

I thought I could live with the results but the truth is that every single time

I look at him I just see the wonkyness. I feel guilty and shallow. I wish I

could see past it but I can't seem to. His ears are still quite wonky and his

head from the front sticks out more behind his right ear and the right side of

his forehead is less formed. I remember when I couldn't get pregnant - all I

could see were pregnant women, or when you break up from a boyfriend, all you

see are happy couples. All I see are little boys with perfect heads. It's

really doing my head in. He's been a difficult boy anyway (only in terms of

feeding and sleeping) but it's been made so much worse by the head. I'm

struggling to bond with him and am beating myself up for the way I'm feeling.

Has anyone else gone through anything similar. Is there light at the end of the

tunnel. I would hate for this to affect my relationship with him for the rest

of his life. I have a three year old son, too. It doesn't help that his head

is perfect. I can't help comparing. I feel evil.

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