Re: Girls with apraxia and friendships/social skills

December 8, 2008

Hi ,

I can't really help you... all I can say is my 5 year old son, Chance, would be

in heaven to

play with your daughter! He loves it when girls like to play cars or trains with

him. His two

best friends are girls :-) He is a gentle soul too...sensitive and caring. I say

let her play

with whomever she wants. But I am a mom to two boys, so maybe I am a little

biased )

-Jenna Weil

>

> Hello there!

>

> I am looking for some " been there, done that " input from parents of

> girls with apraxia. Let me give a little background...

>

> is in Kindergarten and having a tremendous year. She has a

> wonderful program where she is in mainstream Kindergarten for 1/2 of the

> day and is in a special class specifically for high functioning children

> in the afternoon where she gets services (speech-language, OT, PT) and

> the Kindergarten curriculum is reinforced. Our district only has 1/2 day

> Kindergarten, so she is one of the handful of kids in our neighborhood

> school going for a full day. ly, her speech is age appropriate at

> this point. Her speech services are targeted toward conversation,

> sounding out words, answering open ended questions and following

> multi-step directions. Fine motor is probably her biggest area of need

> at this point; we are watching her for /possible /auditory processing

> issues as well. We are so, so proud of her!

>

> My question is actually around social skills and friendships.

> is a very friendly, likeable little girl. She looks very feminine but

> is actually rather tomboy-ish. This is fine by us. She is making

> friends at school, in both parts of her day. She gravitiates toward

> boys, probably because of her tomboy-ish interests and also probably

> because there have always been more boys than girls at school (in her

> integrated preschool, in her therapeutic playgroups and now in

> Kindergarten too). is a bit immature, especially as compared to

> other girls. Yet, her social skills are far ahead of the other kids

> (all boys) in her afternoon class. She is a gentle soul. But, she is

> friendly and active and she seems well-liked overall.

>

> We are gradually trying to set-up more playdates with some kids at

> school and try to grow her social circle beyond kids in the

> neighborhood. These things seems straightforward with boys, but girls

> seem more complicated. They are more socially savvy and sophisticated.

> I am not sure what to do with a darling little girl who likes her

> trains and Diego toys and cars ;-) . Should I encourage friendships

> with girls more or go with her boy friend preference? Should I

> encourage some more feminine interests so that she can fit in with more

> girls? Or, should I just encourage common ground with kids in general

> (she loves active, playground type play, which is probably a good

> unifier for kids of both genders)? I am not trying to change ,

> just trying to make sure that she has plenty of social opportunity.

>

> I guess my real question is ... do any of you have a girl who is/was

> similar (slightly immature, slightly quirky, tomboyish but likeable)?

> How did you handle social things like this? How did things turn out?

>

> I hope that this makes sense. It is a bit of a vague question. Any

> feedback or personal experiences would be so very appreciated.

>

> Warmly,

> -----------------------

> Oakes-Hauf

> Pittsford (outside of Rochester), NY

> Mom to (5.7), apraxia, hypotonia and fine motor delays (but very

> conversational :-) )

> and (3.4), our precocious talker.

> ----------

>

> ----------

>

> Internal Virus Database is out of date.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.9.13/1825 - Release Date: 12/2/2008

8:44 PM

>

December 9, 2008

I love to hear questions like this. I think that you need to build her

confidence and don't rush her to be something that she's not. Kids grow at

different rates and mature eventually. Maybe you can find a girl who is a

little older to play with her who might be a little more understanding and maybe

might serve as a role model.

December 9, 2008

My daughter is 6 and the same way. Last year i went to help out in kindergarten

and help her make friends with some of the girls but I truly feel that was a

mistake. I now choose to leave her alone and let her do her own thing. Believe

or not but even girls in kindergarten are caddy. They make fun of the other

girls and especially mine. They call her scribbles make fun of her speech and

they are just harder to get along with then the boys. I figure I am just happy

that she is making friends and if the boys out number the girls then that is

fine with me. I am sure in time she will gravitate over to the girls, most

little girls that are tomboyish wind up at a stage in their life where they

become very girlie. I wouldn't worry, my daughter seems fine and I believe when

she is ready she will make some girl friends. I have another daughter 2 yrs

younger then her and they play all types of girlie things together, it might

just be the girls in school maybe try

finding one nice little girl whose parents understand your child's needs and

can teach their child not to make fun of yours and try to make friends with that

one. Hope this helps.

December 11, 2008

Hi there. My 2 1/2 year old has the same issues as your little girl. I also have

a typical 5 1/2 year old in K1. She is very girly girly when it come to clothes,

hair, and yes she tries to walk out of the house with makeup on but at school

she plays more with the boys than the girls. I asked the teacher about it and

she says she play with everyone and the girls love her and take direction from

her (she is very bossy). She just happens to love running, rough-housing, ect.

ect. I wouldn't worry about it. Girls can be mean anyway.

-------------- Original message from " K. Oakes " <skoakes@...>:

--------------

Hello there!

I am looking for some " been there, done that " input from parents of

girls with apraxia. Let me give a little background...

is in Kindergarten and having a tremendous year. She has a

wonderful program where she is in mainstream Kindergarten for 1/2 of the

day and is in a special class specifically for high functioning children

in the afternoon where she gets services (speech-language, OT, PT) and

the Kindergarten curriculum is reinforced. Our district only has 1/2 day

Kindergarten, so she is one of the handful of kids in our neighborhood

school going for a full day. ly, her speech is age appropriate at

this point. Her speech services are targeted toward conversation,

sounding out words, answering open ended questions and following

multi-step directions. Fine motor is probably her biggest area of need

at this point; we are watching her for /possible /auditory processing

issues as well. We are so, so proud of her!

My question is actually around social skills and friendships.

is a very friendly, likeable little girl. She looks very feminine but

is actually rather tomboy-ish. This is fine by us. She is making

friends at school, in both parts of her day. She gravitiates toward

boys, probably because of her tomboy-ish interests and also probably

because there have always been more boys than girls at school (in her

integrated preschool, in her therapeutic playgroups and now in

Kindergarten too). is a bit immature, especially as compared to

other girls. Yet, her social skills are far ahead of the other kids

(all boys) in her afternoon class. She is a gentle soul. But, she is

friendly and active and she seems well-liked overall.

We are gradually trying to set-up more playdates with some kids at

school and try to grow her social circle beyond kids in the

neighborhood. These things seems straightforward with boys, but girls

seem more complicated. They are more socially savvy and sophisticated.

I am not sure what to do with a darling little girl who likes her

trains and Diego toys and cars ;-) . Should I encourage friendships

with girls more or go with her boy friend preference? Should I

encourage some more feminine interests so that she can fit in with more

girls? Or, should I just encourage common ground with kids in general

(she loves active, playground type play, which is probably a good

unifier for kids of both genders)? I am not trying to change ,

just trying to make sure that she has plenty of social opportunity.

I guess my real question is ... do any of you have a girl who is/was

similar (slightly immature, slightly quirky, tomboyish but likeable)?

How did you handle social things like this? How did things turn out?

I hope that this makes sense. It is a bit of a vague question. Any

feedback or personal experiences would be so very appreciated.

Warmly,

-----------------------

Oakes-Hauf

Pittsford (outside of Rochester), NY

Mom to (5.7), apraxia, hypotonia and fine motor delays (but very

conversational :-) )

and (3.4), our precocious talker.

----------

Internal Virus Database is out of date.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.9.13/1825 - Release Date: 12/2/2008 8:44

PM

December 12, 2008

Have you considered girls talk more - boys play more. I would bet she feels

more comfortable not feeling pressure to talk, talk, talk. I have a 2.8

daughter with CAS and a " normal " 5.8 daughter. My older daughter and her

friends never stop talking!

My daughter with CAS goes to a private school. Her classroom has deaf children,

apraxic/language challenged children and " normal " children. But they ALL learn

and use sign. I love that she has a peer group she can communicate with using

whatever means works!

From: taranowakowski@... <taranowakowski@...>

Subject: Re: [ ] Girls with apraxia and friendships/social

skills

Date: Thursday, December 11, 2008, 11:33 PM